I would like to meet you once.
I heard those words from KikyÅ-chan not only once but many times. Each time she smiled and gave me an uncertain answer, I never knew why she wanted to see Miyagi.
ãUhh, thank you very much.ã
Kikyoâs cheerful voice was followed by Miyagiâs surprisedãEh?ãreply.
ãSendai-sensei told me that she picked out my pen case with you. So I thought it would be nice to meet you and say thank you.ã
Her smiling, happy face and crisp voice are directed at Miyagi, not at me. The friendly atmosphere that I feel when I teach her her studies every week has not changed. But her voice remains a little higher than usual, so maybe she is nervous in front of someone she is meeting for the first time.
ãItâs not like Iâm being thanked. I didnât pick out the pen case with you, I just followed you, and I didnât pay for it, so donât worry about it.ã
I hear a more cheerful voice than when it is just the two of us.
ãSendai-senseiâs cat pen case was chosen by Miyagi-san, wasnât it? I heard it was a Christmas present. That is so cute!ã
ãI donât think itâs as cute as it could be.ã
ãIt was cute.ã
ãâ¦Thank you.ã
When I looked at Miyagi at the sound of annoyance in her voice, there were none of the wrinkles I often see between her eyebrows. Instead, the corners of her mouth were slightly lifted, as if someone had pulled a string on her lips.
Perhaps it is the word âcuteâ that is the cause of the problem.
ãMiyagi-san, do you tutor as well?ã
ãI donât do that kind of thing. Iâm not good at studying.ã
Miyagiâs voice is a little stiff.
I thought she was trying to create a softer atmosphere than when she was with me, but her voice was dry like a sponge cake that has lost its moisture. The air in the stream is also dry and my throat hurts.
This is not good.
This is not a good topic.
This is a conversation that should be terminated.
ãMiyagi, you donât work part-time, right?ã
Soft and normal.
Calm and gentle at all times.
Iâm used to that kind of thing, so my voice and words come out naturally, without being bland.
ãAh, Iâm also in the camp that doesnât want to. Iâm with Miyagi-san.ã
Conversation is uninterrupted.
KikyÅ-chanâs interest continues to be directed toward Miyagi.
Her expression is almost lost from Miyagi.
And I have pain in my temple area.
We each have a role to play. If that were on your forehead, there would be a sticky note on mine that saysãtutor,ãon Miyagiâs that saysãtutorâs roommate,ãand on KikyÅ-chanâs that saysãtutorâs student.ã
Although both parties are fulfilling their roles solemnly, the atmosphere is somehow bad. The air is not stagnant, but it is not very clean.
ãIs that soâ¦ã
Miyagiâs voice, not low but not bright, is heard.
ãI would rather hang out with friends than work part-time.ã
ãMaybe thatâs why weâre not together. Miyagi, youâre always at home.ã
I interrupt the conversation with the lightness of a skip, even though I know itâs futile.
Quickly, quickly, we need to get away from the part-time talk.
Itâs not something you should be talking about doing in front of Miyagi, so the word âpart-timeâ should be thrown on the floor of the grocery store and kicked to the curb as soon as possible and done someplace far, far away.
ãIs that how you feel?ã
KikyÅ-chan asks Miyagi, not me.
ãYes.ã
A dry voice comes from next to me and KikyÅ-chan asks,ãWhat are you doing at home then?ãshe said something like that.
Why is this happening?
My heart is heavy as if it were stuffed with stones.
I was curious as to why KikyÅ-chan wanted to meet Miyagi, but I had a bad feeling about it, so I kept it vague and deceptive. It would be troublesome if I asked her and got a ridiculous answer. Since she was not going to meet Miyagi anyway, and I had no intention of letting her meet Miyagi, I should just smile and let it pass. Thatâs what I thought.
But, nowââ
A wise person does not come near danger.
What a word to stomp on and wish I had listened. If KikyÅ-chan had known why she wanted to meet Miyagi, she could have avoided this situation.
I swallow the breath I was about to let out.
Next to me, Miyagi is giving an inaccurate answer to my question about what he is doing at home.
We canât keep having this conversation forever, not knowing what itâs all about.
KikyÅ-chan is a lovely student and I donât mean to be mean to her, but itâs not good for this situation to continue. My spirit canât take it and I have a feeling that Miyagiâs eyebrows will reach their limits.
ãKikyÅ-chan, youâre very interested in Miyagi.ã
I move my facial muscles and smile.
ãI had heard about Miyagi-san from Sendai-sensei and had always wondered what kind of person she was.ã
ãâ¦Heard?ã
My stomach churns as Miyagi bites into a part of my life that doesnât need to be bitten.
If this continues, the conversation is going to take another ill-advised turn.
This kind of KikyÅ-chan is not like KikyÅ-chan.
If anything, she is more of an air-reader, and there is no way she is unaware of this subtle atmosphere.
ãI heard that you have a lot of manga and that you and Sendai-sensei often watch anime together.ã
ãIs that what youâre talking about?ã
Miyagiâs voice directed at me pierced my eardrums.
ãYeah, wellâ¦ã
ãIâd love to share a room when I go to college too!ã
ãWell then, KikyÅ-chan. Letâs continue to study hard to become a university student.ã
I curve my lips gently and make a soft sound.
I donât want her to talk to Miyagi any longer.
ãI wish Sendai-sensei would come more often.ã
ãIâll need to discuss it with you.ã
ãOkayâ.ã
I made an exaggerated voice and told KikyÅ-chan,ãWe have an appointment, so weâd better get going,ãand made a disappointed expression on my face.
ãOkay.ã
I waved to KikyÅ-chan, who made a cheerful sound, and said,ãSee you later.ã
I call out to Miyagi,ãShall we go?ãand put my feet forward.
One, two, three steps later, Miyagi walks out of the grocery store to overtake me. She takes one step ahead of me and pushes forward down the sidewalk without a destination in mind.
I increase my walking speed.
I go next to Miyagi and walk side by side.
The wind, too warm for April, caresses my cheeks.
The city, still early in the evening, is calm, if a little dusty. The air is calming compared to the gray paint dripping in the air a few minutes ago. But Miyagi didnât seem to think so, and her brow was furrowed with deep, deep, very deep wrinkles.
ãWhatâs the deal? You havenât made any promises to anyone.ã
Miyagi says in a low voice without restraint.
ãMy promise to watch a movie from now on.ã
ãI didnât promise that, and Iâm leaving. If you want to watch a movie, go watch it with the girl who just came in.ã
I had noticed, but Miyagi had never called KikyÅ-chanâs name.
She knows her name, but she never calls her Hanamaki or KikyÅ.
ãIâm kidding about the movie, but why donât we go see something more?ã
ãIâm leaving.ã
Miyagi says while avoiding people coming from across to her.
I keep pace with her to avoid being followed.
The sky is blue and there are no clouds.
Itâs a feel-good day, appropriate for a day out with Miyagi.
But the too warm wind is uncomfortable and I put my hand on my neck.
I stroke my neck to wipe away the dust that tries to cling to it, then grab Miyagiâs arm, which seems to be about to run away.
ãThen, what about the bookstore?ã
ãI didnât promise to do that, so Iâm leaving.ã
Miyagi said in a strong voice and took a big step forward.