ãDo I need to do it myself?ã
I ask, picking up a light blue towel.
ãDo it yourself.ã
In light of the past, I know what I need to do without being told exactly what to do. But Iâm not sure I want to actively comply given what will be done after this order.
Miyagi has bad taste.
She give only orders that she canât give openly.
Well, being ordered by Miyagi itself is something that cannot be done openly.
ãHurry and do it.ã
Lost with a towel in hand, Miyagi rushed me.
Whether I do it myself or Miyagi does it for me, the result is the same. All I have to do is make the fact that I put blinders on and move on.
I am not comfortable with blindfolding myself. But if I falter, there is a possibility that Miyagiâs mood will become even worse and the orders that follow will be even more ludicrous.
I cover my eyes with a light blue towel.
I feel more immoral by blindfolding myself.
Miyagi really has a bad taste.
ãI canât see anything and itâs boring.ã
I complain about Miyagi, where I donât know exactly where she is.
ãItâs not meant to make Sendai-san more interestedã
A voice comes back from the front.
ãSo, this is interesting for Miyagi, then?ã
ãItâs not.ã
It seems that Miyagi is not only strange in her hobbies, but also in her thinking.
I donât understand why she makes people do things that are not interesting.
ãSo what are you going to do to me?ã
I ask because I want to disguise my anxiety about not being able to see.
But no answer comes back.
ãMiyagi?ã
I called out Miyagiâs name, who would be in front of me, and a hand touched my cheek.
The hand softly stroked my cheek and traced my lips.
I stiffen involuntarily.
It reminds me of being blindfolded during summer vacation. But her hand quickly moved away and she never kissed me like she did that time.
ãSendai-san.ã
Miyagi calls me quietly.
She doesnât touch me, but I feel her eyes on me.
I donât know if they are really watching me because I canât see her, but I feel restless. My neck is itching.
ãAnswer me.ã
Miyagi said angrily to me as I remained silent. Still, when I did not respond, she called meãSendai-sanãonce again.
ãWhat?ã
ãââTell me you hate me.ã
ãHah? Whatâs with that suddenly?ã
ãJust say it.ã
ãWhy?ã
ãNo matter what.ã
Her voice is always the same.
Itâs a little low, the kind of voice she makes when sheâs in a bad mood.
It is not unusual for Miyagi to say things that are incomprehensible. Her behavior is often unreadable and I donât think I should be concerned about it. But I feel that her current order is something that should not be followed without knowing what it means.
ãWhat should I say I donât like you for?ã
My eyes are covered with a towel. Still, I raises my head slightly to make eye contact with Miyagi and asks cautiously.
ãâ¦Me.ã
I was told in a whisper.
ââI want to see Miyagiâs face.
I have not lost the freedom of my hands.
I touch the light blue towel.
I removed the towel and tried to see what Miyagi looks like. But before I can untie the knot, she grabbed my hand. And then she tied again the towel tightly.
ãI didnât say you could take it off.ã
I hear Miyagiâs voice and sink right next to where Iâm sitting. Without refusing, my arm is pulled away. When I was turned toward where Miyagi was, I was pushed down.
Thanks to the futon, my back did not hurt, but I was afraid of being roughly handled with my vision deprived. I was about to complain, but I hear Miyagiâs voice first.
ãThis is because you didnât follow my orders.ã
Her finger touches the chain of the pendant and it is pulled out slyly.
The buttons of my blouse are not undone.
The pendant is pulled hard and the chain digs into the back of my neck.
ãYouâre pulling it too much. It hurts and it might break.ã
Miyagi seems to have a grip around the pendant top and is not choking me. Still, I am afraid that she is going to choke me so hard that I will stop breathing. I canât see, so I donât know what she was doing to me, and my breathing speeds up a bit. I feel as if my senses are becoming more acute.
ãLet me go.ã
I try to be strong, but the pendant keeps pulling and the chain brings pain. When I call out, âMiyagi,â the pendant is released and bit my neck. The teeth that are hitting me with the warmth sinking into my skin. But it doesnât hurt so much that I scream.
Soon Miyagi left and touched the bite. As if as a compliment, the chain is stroked and the top of the collarbone is also touched. As a matter of course, one of my buttons was undone and my necktie was undone. I thought my wrists would be tied, but Miyagi did nothing more.
My hands can be tied whenever she want to tie them, and in fact they have been tied several times.
But today, they are not tied.
I interpret this to be because she wanted me to touch her, and I pull Miyagi closer to me.
I put my arm around her back and stroked her hair.
My hand was not flung away.
She has no intention of rejecting me.
ãââDoes Miyagi hate me?ã
I stroked her hair as if combing it and asks her a question.
ãâ¦Yeah.ã
After a pause, a reply can be heard.
ãThen make it clear that you donât like it. Then, I heard your order to say I hate you.ã
I search and stroke her cheek through her hair and touch her lips with my fingertips.
Miyagi says nothing.
ãI wonât be offended if you tell me, so go ahead and say it.ã
Miyagiâs lips do not move.
I let go of the hand that was touching her lips.
I would be surprised if she ever told me she disliked me here.
Itâs impossible to dislike me when she donât mind putting my arms around her back or touching her hair.
Miyagiâs body moves away a little and her hand touches the pendant.
Tracing the chain so hard that it almost marks the skin, her fingertips reach the pendant top.
ãMy necklace, give it back.ã
Miyagi pulled the pendant so hard that I would believe her if she told me she was going to break it.
I took the towel covering my eyes.
This time I was able to remove it before it got in the way, and I saw Miyagiâs eyes wrinkled between her eyebrows.
She looked very unhappy, but also like she was about to cry.
My vision, freed from the darkness and pressure, is blurry, but what I see is definitely Miyagi.
ãI told you not to take it off without permission.ã
Miyagi removed her hand from the pendant and took the towel.
ãWhat do you mean, give it back?ã
ãThereâs no reason for it.ã
It sounds more than plain and emotionless.
I grab Miyagiâs blouse.
ãThen, I wonât give it back. Miyagi told me to keep the pendant on until the graduation ceremony. I better keep my promise.ã
ãEven Sendai-san breaks her promises.ã
Miyagi said bitingly and peeled off my hand grabbing her blouse.
ãEven if I break mine, Miyagi must keep hers.ã
When I speak selfishly, Miyagi tried to tear off the pendant without saying anything.
ãIâm not returning this.ã
I slap Miyagiâs hand to remind her.
Still the pendant continues to be pulled and I slap her hand again. Then, the chain that had been clamped around my neck loosened and her hand fell away.
ãYou know, Miyagi. We still have the exams, and stop saying weird things⦠Youâre depressing me.ã
I push Miyagi and raise myself up.
ãSendai-san wouldnât be so depressed, no?ã
Miyagi flops down on the bed.
ãMiyagi is a fool, arenât you?ã
I smack her head with a pillow and get off the bed.
ãWhatâs next?ã
I asked her sitting at the table looking at Miyagi, she looked up and saw me.
ãEh?ã
ãWhen should I come here next? Miyagi is supposed to call me and pay me 5,000 yen until the graduation ceremony, so hurry up and tell me.ã
ãâ¦Iâll contact you.ã
ãI would never let you do that. You decide right here, right now.ã
When I urge her to do so in a strong tone, Miyagi buries her face in her pillow.
ãFive days later.ã
I hear mumbling and muffled voices.
Sheâs is far away, I think.
But the promise of five days is not strange, because not all the exams are over yet, and we still have to study.
ãOkay. So what are you going to do when youâre free to go to school?ã
Iâll mention one more thing that has been bothering me.
In February, school will be a free-for-all and you will be free to go or not. The choice is left to the students, but most choose not to go to school. Both Umina and Mariko said they would not go to school during their free time. I will not be going either.
I havenât heard what Miyagi is going to do.
ãâ¦â¦ã
Miyagi, with her face buried in the pillow, did not move an inch.
ãMiyagi, free school isnât a vacation.ã
We donât meet on school holidays.
We have that kind of agreement.
However, I can say that I go to school freely on days when school is in session.
ãMiyagi.ã
When I called her name and urged her to respond, a small voice replied,ãI will call you without being told.ã