On days when school is in session, Sendai-san can be called.
There may or may not be a reason.
Not so long ago I used to call her on days when I had a bad day, but now it doesnât matter anymore. I call Sendai-san on the day I want to call her.
Today, too, I called Sendai-san, although I had no particular reason to do so.
Still, I think she should be praised for choosing the 23rd as the last day of the second semester to meet, avoiding the 24th and 25th.
Sendai-san would have a promise or two for Christmas, and I have one with Maika. I also know that I should avoid days that might be memorable, so I chose today.
I donât know what Sendai-san thought about it.
I return to my room with a cup of tea for two and one plate with pastries on it. As usual, I place a cup of tea in front of and next to Sendai-san, who has unbuttoned two buttons of her blouse. After placing a plate in the middle of the table, I sat down and Sendai-san pointed to a square but not uniformly shaped pastry and said.
ãWhat is this?ã
ãA fudge.ã
ãA fudge?ã
ãBritish sweets. Got it from my dad.ã
ãIs it delicious?ã
Apparently eating it for the first time, Sendai-san stared at the fudge without putting it in her mouth.
ãThey say itâs a bunch of butter, sugar and milk.ã
ãEh, the calorie count for that are way too high.ã
ãMaybe itâs bad. I ate it yesterday and it was crazy sweet.ã
The brownish mass looks a lot like caramel, but it crumbles in my mouth and is ten times sweeter than caramel. But itâs not just sweet, it has a rich milk flavor that makes you want to eat several pieces.
ãSo, thatâs why we had tea today.ã
ãWould you have preferred barley tea?ã
ãI hope itâs not carbonated for me, but Miyagi always drinks cider. I just thought it was unusual.ã
With that, Sendai-san snatches up a piece of fudge.
ãAlso, this. Itâs rare that you bring out sweets, isnât it? A little early for Christmas?ã
ãItâs not like that. I just happened to have it at home, so I put it out.ã
ãI see.ã
I thought she was going to say something teasing, but she didnât, and Sendai-san took a bite of the fudge. Then she chewed and swallowed it with a gulp, raised her eyebrows and said,
ãItâs delicious, but Iâm pretty sure itâs so wrong for me if I eat a lot of it.ã
Sendai-san drinks her tea as it cools. The teacup, about one-third empty, is placed back on the table, and her hand reaches for the fudge again. But her hand went back to the cup without picking up the caramel-like mass.
ãSendai-san. Open your mouth.ã
I picked up the fudge and showed it to her, and Sendai-san removed her hand from the cup.
ãAn order?ã
ãYes.ã
I affirmed that it was an order.
Sendai-san opened her mouth as if he had no choice, and I brought the sweet treat in my hand closer.
I attach the brown lump to her lips and incidentally touch her lips with my fingertips as well. I can feel just a little bit of softness.
I have touched her skin many times with the necklace.
Her lips are softer than that smooth skin.
I shoved the sugary mass into Sendai-sanâs mouth, though I wanted to taste its softness more slowly.
ãSweet.ã
Sendai-san mumbles the same words I unintentionally uttered yesterday as she chews the sweets. I pick another one up just as the fudge is gone from her mouth.
ãThis too.ã
When I press it to my lips, Sendai-san opens her mouth honestly.
I push the caramel-colored pastry into her mouth and stroke her lips with my fingertips more slowly than before. Mr. Sendaiâs lips closed, and when I still did not let go of her fingers, she grabbed my wrist.
ãMiyagi should eat too.ã
Sendai-san said and let go of my wrist before I could quite tell if I had swallowed what was in my mouth. I took one of the brown candies before she did, because she was going to reach for the fudge as it was.
ãEat it yourself.ã
I ate a good number yesterday and three again today before Sendai-san arrived, so I donât want to eat fudge. This is like serving it to her. But I donât want to say why I prepared the sweets, and even if I say I donât want them, Sendai-san will try to make me eat them, so I throw the sweet treats into my mouth myself.
ãItâs sweet.ã
After drinking my tea with the same words I had just heard, Sendai-san quietly said,
ãMiyagi, will you go somewhere with Utsunomiya for Christmas?ã
ãYes, but is Sendai-san with Ibaraki-san?ã
ãUmina has a date. So, with another friend.ã
ãI see then.ã
When I responded with words that would have ended the conversation for lack of other words, Sendai-san avoided the cups to the edge of the table and started arranging the textbooks. That means there is nothing more to say, and I will not be able to say anything.
I am sure Sendai-san knows that after today, we will not see each other again until after the winter break. But she never asked me about winter break. Toward the end of the first semester, she had been harping on this and that about how to spend the summer vacation, so I think itâs safe to say that she didnât ask me about it in an unnatural way.
From next to me, all I could hear was the sound of textbook pages being turned and pens running through notebooks.
I took a sip of my tea.
Sendai-san did not, after all, offer to tutor me as she did during the summer vacation, and she is unlikely to say so today.
I get up and sit on the bed.
I donât have the confidence to look her in the face and talk to her.
ãâ¦Sendai-san, what are you doing for winter vacation?ã
I hate it when I say it out loud, but it is quieter than I thought it would be.
ãStudying.ã
Without turning around, Sendai-san utters an answer that can only be described as obvious.
I think itâs only obvious.
The exams are coming up and we donât have time to play around.
If she have time to teach others how to study, I should study myself. I know that, but I donât want to end this conversation.
ãDonât you have anything else to do?ã
ãNone, I guess. Iâll at least go to Hatsumode* with Umina and the others.ã(TN : Visiting the shrine at the first day of a new year.)
Sendai-san mentions a name that I donât like to hear too much regarding winter break.
ââIf she had time to go to Hatsumode with Ibaraki-san.
If she had that kind of time, I think it would be nice if she could spend a little time with me as well.
ãSendai-san. Come over here and sit next to me.ã
ãNext to you?ã
Sendai-san recalls.
ãYes, sit next to me. You didnât heard me?ã
ãI heard you, but the conversation jumped from winter break to a weird place. So, is that an order?ã
ãAn order.ã
When I told her clearly, Sendai-san stood up and sat down next to me, looking like she had no choice.
The bed squeaks with a creak.
My heart jumps at the warmth of Mr. Sendaiâs body, which is closer to mine than before.
ãAfter sitting here, whatâs next?ã
ãClose your eyes.ã
ãWhy?ã
The command to close her eyes is ignored, and Sendai-san stares at me.
ãIf you donât want to close it, fine.ã
ãDonât throw me out in the middle of the process. Give me a proper order.ã
ãDo it properly.ã
ãI mean, tell me to close my eyes so you can kiss me.ã
It was complaint.
Nothing but discontent.
What I do to Sendai-san with her eyes closed is definitely a kiss, but the way she says it makes it sound like I am more eager to kiss her than she is.
But it wasnât like that.
The kiss I am about to give is not for me, but for Sendai-san, who always wants to kiss me. So her words are wrong.
ãMiyagi, you want to kiss me, donât you?ã
When I kept quiet, Sendai-san says decisively and held my hand.
ãWrong⦠But, you must close your eyes.ã
This kiss has to happen today.
Next time it will be after winter break, and that doesnât make sense.
I took back my gripped hand and grabbed Sendai-sanâs blouse. Instead of ordering her to do so, I tugged lightly on it, and Sendai-san closed her eyes.
I slowly bring my face closer.
Iâve kissed her from me countless times during the summer vacation, but Iâm nervous as if Iâm doing it for the first time now. My heart is beating so loud that it has tripled.
I look at Sendai-san before closing my eyes.
I think sheâs beautiful when sheâs silent.
Her well-groomed eyebrows and eyelashes that are not particularly long but longer than mine. I know that her lips that always tease me are glossy and soft to the touch. The sensation is still there in my fingertips. Her eyes looking at me are better than closed eyes, but I donât want them open now.
So I kiss Sendai-san before she opens her eyes.
I can feel the lips more clearly than when I touch them with my fingers.
They are soft, warm, and pleasant to the touch.
I want to be by Sendai-sanâs side more.
But I canât stay attached to her forever, so I let go of her lips. Then, I nuzzle my face into Sendai-sanâs shoulder.
ãâ¦On winter vacation, come and tutor me.ã
I couldnât say it out loud, but I will say what I wanted to say today.
I donât think my kisses are worth that much, but Sendai-san has wanted to kiss me several times before, so it should at least be an ingredient for an exchange.
ãI thought the rule was that we donât see each other when weâre on vacation.ã
I heard a voice in my ear.
But what Sendai-san said was not what I was thinking.
ãEven Sendai-san broke the rules.ã
ãDoes Miyagi want to break it as well?ã
Sendai-san pulls my hair lightly.
ãThatâs not what I meant.ã
ãThen youâre asking me for a favor?ã
ãWrong.ã
ãThenââ Are you saying that the kiss now is not an order or a request, but an exchange?ã
I know what she meant, but I hate Sendai-san for bothering to ask.
ãIf you donât like it, fine.ã
ãI never said I donât like it. But if itâs just an exchange, you should kiss me better.ã
Sendai-san said and hugged me, her forehead flat against my shoulder.