On the table is a plate of toast, scrambled eggs, and orange juice.
Across from me sits Sendai-san.
I still canât get used to the fact that Sendai-san, who has always been next to me when I study or eat, was across a seat from me.
But one more week to go.
Maybe it will take a month or so, but I think I should be able to get used to Sendai-san being in my presence as we eat together.
I spread butter and jam on my toast. Then I look at the glass.
ãSendai-san, why the orange juice?ã
ãWould you have preferred cider?ã
ãI thought maybe it was tea.ã
Any beverage is fine.
Iâm not that picky.
It was Sendai-san who prepared breakfast, and I have nothing to complain about. However, I am only slightly dissatisfied that the electric kettle we went out of our way to buy yesterday is not being used.
ãIf you want tea, Iâll start making tea tomorrow.ã
I look at Sendai-san.
Our eyes meet, but she doesnât look away.
I am relieved about that.
I donât want to feel bad in the morning.
ãTea or whatever, what about the electric kettle?ã
ãYou want me to use it?ã
ãWe didnât have to go out and buy it if we werenât going to use it.ã
ãEven if I donât use it right now, you need it, and you had fun shopping.ã
ãThatâs not what I meant.ã
I bite into a piece of toast and drink orange juice. Sendai-san also eats toast with butter and jam.
ãThatâs what I mean. Anyway, Miyagi. Youâre going to college after you finish eating, right?ã
Unsure if the electric kettle will be used tomorrow, Sendai-san changes the subject.
ãIâm going butâ¦ã
ãIn a hurry?ã
ãNothing like that.ã
ãI see.ã
The conversation stopped there, and I donât know what Sendai-san will do now. I feel like Iâm intruding too much into her life if I ask, and the longer I donât ask, the more empty my plate and glass become.
ãIâll wash it for you.ã
She lowers the plates and glasses for two from the table and declares.
ãItâs fine. Iâll do it myself.ã
ãYou prepared breakfast for me.ã
ãThen, Iâll leave it to you.ã
After saying this, Sendai-san returns to her room. I quickly finish the dishes and return to my room. Iâm not in a hurry, but it will take a reasonable amount of time to get to the university, so Iâll be prepared with plenty of time to spare.
I dress myself and look in the mirror.
At times like this, I wish I had a uniform.
It is a hassle to think about what to wear every morning. I envy my past self, when everything was solved with just one uniform. I exhale and grab my things. When I opened the door, I found Sendai-san in the common space with her makeup done.
ãIâm going to go now.ã
I call out to her as she sits in the chair. As I was about to head straight for the door, Sendai-san stood up and grabbed me by the arm.
ãWait, Miyagi.ã
ãWhat?ã
ãLend me your face.ã
ãMy face?ã
ãIâll do your makeup.ã
Sendai-san smiles.
She seems to be in a good mood, but her errand seems to be a trivial one.
ãIâm going to be late.ã
ãYou said earlier that you werenât in a hurry.ã
ãIâm not in a hurry, but I donât have the time.ã
ãWhy donât you at least put on some lipstick? Your lips, theyâre rough. Youâve got time for that, no?ã
Sendai-sanâs thumb touches my lips.
The tip of her finger is pressed lightly against my lips and softly strokes them as if to check the texture.
I donât dislike Sendai-sanâs fingers.
It feels good to feel her fingertips on my lips after a long time.
ãIs it okay, Miyagi?ã
Her fingertips move apart and ask.
ãItâs not that rough.ã
When I looked in the mirror earlier, my lips should not have been rough.
ãI told you itâs rough. Itâll be over soon. Have a seat.ã
She pulls on my arm and I reflexively reach for it.
I press my thumb to her lips, just as Sendai-san did to mine. I wiped her lips with my fingertips and the lip on her lips stretched out and landed on my fingers.
ãHold on, Miyagi!ã
Sendai-san grabs my arm tightly, saying angrily.
ãIf you keep fixing that, youâre going to run out of time.ã
ãAre you stupid?ã
I shake off Sendai-sanâs hand and turn my back to her.
ãDo you have time tomorrow?ã
I hear a grumpy voice.
ãI donât.ã
ãMake time for it. Iâll make you pretty.ã
ãYou donât have to.ã
ãIâll do it for you.ã
ãI told you itâs fine.ã
ãYou could at least let me do my makeup. Youâre really stingy.ã
ãShut up, Sendai-san. Iâm going already.ã
The platypus-covered tissue are placed on top of the color box. But instead of taking a tissue, I head for the sink. In front of the mirror, I put the package down before I get the water out.
I look at my thumb.
It is dyed the same color as Sendai-sanâs lips.
I look in the mirror and see myself with unblemished lips.
I knew it, it was a lie.
I touch my lips with my index finger.
The fingertip glides smoothly to reach the edge of my mouth.
I almost touch my lips with my lightly stained thumb and Sendai-sanâs soft lips come to mind. I wash my hands without touching anywhere.
I scrubbed and scrubbed.
Carefully clean the dirt off my fingertips before leaving the house.
I take the train and head to the university in a reasonable amount of time.
I wish it was closer, but I have no choice.
I pass through the gate and enter the university.
The university, which seems out of place, has yet to become my place. I donât know if I can call them friends, but I talk to them when I see them, but I have not yet reached the point where I enjoy talking with them. And there are many troublesome things.
The most important of these is course registration.
Students decide which lectures to take and make their own schedule.
Itâs terribly tedious to think about the credits needed to graduate and schedule them. If Sendai-san were at the same university, she might be willing to do the same for me, but she is at a different university.
I enter the lecture hall and look around inside.
Of course, Sendai-san is not there.
As I sit down and plop down on my desk, I hear the sound of something being put down with a clank. Then someone called my nameãShiori,ãand I looked up to see Maika.
ãLack of sleep?ã
Saying this, Maika sits down next to me. At first I couldnât get used to Maika not being in uniform, but now Iâm used to it. Even the thinning makeup, which I did not wear in high school, has become part of what makes up Maika in my mind.
ãNo, I slept well. Anyway, Iâm sorry about yesterday.ã
On Saturday, I called Maika and told her âI was sorry.â
But I apologize again today.
I told Sendai-san I had no plans, but I had promised to meet Maika on Sunday. I feel guilty for turning down a prior commitment that should have been my priority and incorporating a schedule that came later.
ãItâs fine. What did you buy yesterday?ã
I had to go shopping for something to share with the people I live with.
I told Maika so and went shopping with Sendai-san.
ãElectric kettle. I didnât have anything to boil water with.ã
ãEven now?ã
ãIâve been a little slammed and didnât get around to buying it.ã
ãYouâre living with your relatives, right?ã
ãYeah.ã
Itâs kept secret that Sendai-san is my roommate.
Itâs not that I didnât have a chance to tell Maika, but I didnât know how to explain about Sendai-san, so I ended up telling her that I live with a relative.
I know I will have to tell the truth at some point, but if I tell her that the other party is Sendai-san, she was bound to ask me to explain how I came to share a room with Sendai-san. But I donât have an answer for that.
ãIs that person distressed?ã
ãWhy?ã
ãThat person said you shouldnât invite friends over. That person is distressed.ã
It would be troublesome if Maika came to visit the house where I lives with Sendai-san instead of my relatives.
So I made up a makeshift rule thatãfriends are not invited to the house,ã and told Maika. Although I feel guilty about lying repeatedly, I cannot let Maika know that my roommate is Sendai-san in my current state.
ãYeahâ I think sheâs normal. Maybe.ã
ãNormal people, huh? Well, thatâs fine.ã
Maika looked as if she wanted to say something, but she didnât pursue it any further.
She is always kind.
I have been spoiled by Maika since high school, and I am still spoiled by her even as a college student.
ãSpeaking of which, yesterday, Shiori wouldnât go with me, so I got my earrings pierced.ã
ãPierced?ã
Maikaâs voice made me look at her ear and I saw a small silver earring.
ãDid you open it yourself?ã
ãYes.ã
I donât think Maika has become more flashy or changed the friends she hangs out with. But I do think she has become more fashionable. Her makeup is the same, but itâs not the same as it was in high school.
The environment has changed, and so has Maika. Sendai-san has not changed, but she may have changed when she is not in my presence. When I think of that, I feel as if I am the only one left behind.
ãIt looks surprisingly good on you.ã
Maika raised her eyebrows deliberately as she said this while looking at her earrings.
ãBecause the unexpected is superfluous.ã
I told her I was joking, and as we were talking about where I bought it, the door to the lecture room opened. The teacher, looking a bit scary, enters and begins its lecture.
Sendai-san, who looked like she was going to get her ears pierced once she got to college, did not get her ears pierced, but Maika did. That seems a little odd.
I wonder if one day Sendai-san will get her ears pierced.
I donât know.
She had been unsure since high school, and became even more unsure as a college student. I do not know anything about Sendai-san at the university.
Until now, when I heard the names of my friends from Sendai-san, I could picture their faces. When I heard about a class, I would picture the teacherâs face. I could imagine everything in the school, but now I canât imagine anything.
What is Sendai-san doing at this time?
Send one message and Iâll know about it.
But I canât imagine the landscape.
I am dissatisfied with those things. And I am dissatisfied with myself for being dissatisfied with such nonsense.
Itâs boring.
Both Sendai-san, who is following the rules that should be followed, and myself.
I look at my thumb.
Then I stroke my lips with the tip of my finger.