After having breakfast with Sendai-san, I returned to my room.
I pull out my skirt, feeling lost.
December 25th
Christmas.
The appointed day.
All of these words describe today, but it shouldnât be a day when I have to wear a skirt.
I put away my skirt and take out my denim shorts. The weather forecast said that todayâs temperature would be the same as yesterday. Since I know it will be cold, I should dress warmly.
I change into my not-so-normal clothes and then apply the lipstick that Sendai-san gave me. I pick up the hand cream on the table and open the lid.
It smells good.
I think itâs my favorite scent.
But after a little hesitation, I closed the lid without applying it.
I put on my coat, wrap the scarf that Sendai-san gave me, and go to the common space with the gloves that Maika gave me. There is no sign of Sendai-san, who is not yet ready, and I knocked on the door of her room.
I tap twice and call out,ãSendai-san,ãand hear from inside,ãWait ten more minutes.ãOnce back in my room, I stroked the black catâs head, stopped, sat, and wandered around until ten minutes had passed and I went to the common area, where the door to the next room immediately opened.
I am relieved to see Sendai-san.
Sheâs wearing the same skirt as yesterday, but sheâs not as dressed up as she was yesterday. Her hairstyle is also the same as usual. I would rather have a Sendai-san that is closer to the usual than a special Sendai-san that is different from the usual. I donât want to think that today is a special day.
ãYouâre slow. Come on, letâs go.ã
At any rate, I complain about having to wait long enough.
ãYou donât have to be in such a hurry. You donât have a destination in mind, do you?ã
Sendai-san smiles and takes two steps closer to me.
Her hand reaches out to me, and I involuntarily take a step back.
ãMiyagi, do you still have the lipstick I gave you?ã
Lowering her outstretched hand, Sendai-san stared at my lips.
ãI still have it, why do you ask?ã
ãI thought it might be time to run out. Iâll give you a new one, just tell me before itâs gone.ã
ãIf it runs out, Iâll just buy it myself.ã
ãIâll give it to you. Shall I buy it today?ã
ãItâs fine. Iâll buy it myself.ã
ãThen Iâll pick one for you.ã
ãI donât care about that, letâs just go.ã
As I turn my back on Sendai-san and head for the front door, I hear a voice behind me saying,ãOkay, okay.ãWe leave home, get on the train, get off at a random station, and walk aimlessly.
ãMiyagi, is there anywhere you want to go?ã
ãNothing in particular.ã
ãYou donât have to have one, but are we going to be walking around all the time?ã
I exhale at the sound of Sendai-sanâs voice, which doesnât sound accusatory but is not gentle either.
The cold air turns white.
My scarf and gloves help, but I still feel cold. Looking up at the sky, the sun was peeking out apologetically from between the clouds.
I donât think it is the season to walk around the city.
ãâ¦What do you usually do with your friends at times like this?ã
I ask while somehow moving my feet forward.
ãNhnââ, shopping, karaoke, and such. Do you want to go to⦠Karaoke?ã
ãI wonât go there.ã
Itâs not that I donât like karaoke, and I would love to hear Sendai-san sing, but I donât want to go somewhere where we will be alone today. If I go, I want to go somewhere with more people.
I donât remember such a place.
I think about it as I walk slowly and aimlessly. Looking across the road, I see the word âbookâ and call out to Sendai-san.
ãCan we go to that bookstore?ã
I point across the driveway, and she responds,ãOkay.ãHaving decided on our destination, we speed up our walk. Escaping the wind that chills my cheeks, I walk into the building and into the bookstore.
I donât have any books to buy, but itâs warm and I can kill some time.
ãIâm going to go check out the manga, so look whatever you like, Sendai-san.ã
I removed my gloves and looked next to me.
ãLetâs go together.ã
Sendai-san said and followed me.
After about 20 minutes, I go from the manga shelf to the novels shelf, check out the new books, and look at the shelves lined with historical novels, which I donât usually read. Sendai-san is also next to me, looking at the spines of books.
I look at the magazine shelf and go to the picture book shelf.
Sendai-san is still next to me.
She is also next to me on the childrenâs book shelf.
I donât know how much time has passed, but I canât calmly look at the book because Sendai-san follows me like a stalker.
ãSendai-san, is there any book you want?ã
While heading to the stationery section, I look next to me.
ãI guess not now. What about you, Miyagi?ã
ãIâll buy manga.ã
I donât have any books I want, but I need to kill some more time.
ãIf you buy the book now, it will be luggage, buy it later. Iâll stop by here before I go home. Anyway, itâs almost lunchtime.ã
ãIs it that time already?ã
ãIt may be a little early, but if itâs right at noon, itâll be crowded.ã
ãOkay, can we go to a family restaurant?ã
ãIf you want hamburgers, I know a great place.ã
ãWhy hamburgers? I didnât say I wanted one.ã
The conversation is not engaging.
I never said anything about hamburgers and I donât remember saying anything before I left home.
ãI made hamburgers before and you said they were delicious, so I thought you might like to have some. Itâs Christmas, shouldnât it be special?ã
ãThatâs just normal thing, and going to family restaurant is fine.ã
When I say it clearly, Sendai-san looks a little dissatisfied. But I donât want her to feel special, so we leave the bookstore and head for a family restaurant. After a five-minute walk, we soon see a family restaurant and go inside. Gloves and scarf off, coat off, we choose pasta from the mundane menu and eat.
There is nothing to talk about, so when we finish eating, the silence becomes awkward. I put on my coat, leave the restaurant, and equip myself with gloves and a scarf. After walking around the city in circles, I got cold and entered a station building packed with commercial facilities.
While browsing through the sundries, Sendai-san asks to see some clothes, and I follow her. When we arrived at the store she wanted to go to and was looking at clothes, Sendai-san started telling me to wear this or that next to me, and I ran away to a different store. But soon I was taken to a store of Sendai-sanâs liking, where I was encouraged to try on the clothes more noisily than the store clerks.
In the end, after trying on a few dresses, we ate pancakes and looked at cosmetics, dragged along by Sendai-san to look at lipsticks. But after buying, we left the store and pop into a store lined with character goods.
After killing a good amount of time and having dinner, I was wandering around the station building when Sendai-san stopped.
ãCan I try this?ã
One of the crane games lined up along the aisle was pointed out to me, and when I looked inside, I saw that it was filled with stuffed toys of sharks, dolphins, and other sea creatures.
ãItâs fine. But, Sendai-san, do you like stuffed animals enough to play crane games?ã
ãNot exactly.ã
Even as she says this, she stares at the stuffed animals with a rather serious face. Then she tilts her head and wrinkles her brow. âNhhnn,â she groaned and moved closer to the glass and away. Then she approached it again.
Gong.
Sendai-sanâs forehead makes a loud noise as it hits the glass.
ãEh, are you okay?ã
ãIâm okay.ã
Sendai-san replies shortly, takes a 500-yen coin from her wallet, and throws it into the crane game. The arm immediately starts moving, stops at a distance from the stuffed animal it is supposed to be aiming at, sticks into the head of the buried dolphin, and comes back without taking anything. The second and third times are the same, the arm stops in a strange position.
ãSendai-san, I donât think you can get the stuffed animal that way.ã
ãJust stay quiet, Miyagi.ã
Sendai-san said without taking her eyes off the stuffed animals, but the stuffed animals didnât move until the end.
ãâ¦Not too bad, huh?ã
ãIâve hardly ever done anything like this before.ã
I knew that when I saw it.
Sheâs too bad at it and I donât think she should play the crane game anymore. But when I look next to her, Sendai-san is about to throw in another 500 yen, and I stop her.
ãSendai-san, I donât think you can get it even if you spent 10,000 yen.ã
ãI donât think so.ã
ãIt is. Absolutely impossible. Youâre too bad at it. Do you want a stuffed animal?ã
ãIâd say I want itâ¦ã
ãYou donât want it?ã
ãItâs not that I donât want it, butâ¦ã
ãThen which one do you want?ã
ãNot necessarily which one.ã
ãThen move.ã
I push Sendai-san, who keeps giving me simpering replies.
In my bag, I pull out my wallet from under the gloves and scarf I put away when I tried on the dress, and throw in a 500-yen coin. I aim at the penguin and move the arm. Hook the arm on the tag and lift it up. The penguin falls on the way back, but the goal is to move it, so it can fall.
Itâs wrong to ask the arm to have the guts to take the stuffed animal in one go.
You can rarely grab the stuffed animal itself and get it off in one go, and even if you hook it onto a tag, it falls right off. So you have to move it around a few times to get it to the drop-off point.
ãOkay.ã
One stuffed animal for 500 yen.
Iâm not sure if it is efficient or not, but I give Sendai-san the penguin that is bigger than the stuffed black cat.
But she wonât take it.
On the contrary, she looks scowling.
ãI thought you wanted it.ã
ãâ¦I wanted Miyagi to take it.ã
Sendai-san, looking unusually grumpy, blurts out in a small voice.
ãIt didnât look like youâre going to get it from anywhere.ã
ãI could have taken it, you know.ã
ãYou could never have done it.ã
ãThatâs not true.ã
ãIt is. Sendai-san, you didnât know how to get the stuffed animals.ã
ãI can take it even if⦠I donât understand it.ã
Sendai-san, who normally doesnât sulk, makes a sulky sound and sighs loudly. The way she sighs is so childish that I canât help but blow it out of the water.
ãEh, what, is this where you laugh?ã
Sendai-san looked at me as if surprised.
ãI thought this kind of Sendai-san is rare. The penguin, itâs my thank you for the scarf.ã
I push the stuffed animal at Sendai-san, who is rolling her eyes.
ãIâll take it, donât get me wrong, but⦠Thank you.ã
The penguin is received and its head is patted. Sendai-san has an unexplained expression on her face, but is relieved that this stuffed animal will be adored.
ãYou donât want this, Miyagi?ã
ãI already have a stuffed animal.ã
I have the black cat in my room. I donât have a taste for arranging a lot of stuffed animals, so I donât want to increase the number. We leave the crane game behind and walk aimlessly.
ãMiyagi, do you want to buy a book today?ã
She remembered that I had told her in the morning that I would buy a manga.
ãIt doesnât have to be today.ã
ãWell, I guess itâs time for us to go home then.ã
Sendai-san, who was walking next to me, stopped. I had no intention of stopping, but she grabbed my arm and I had no choice but to stop.
ãIâd like to stay here a little longer.ã
ãâ¦â¦Are you going to stay until after midnight?ã
I hear her slightly low voice and look away.
I donât mean to, but I wish I could, so I donât say anything. Sendai-san calls meãMiyagi.ãI know she is urging me to answer, but I cannot open my mouth.
My arm that remains in her grasp is pulled hard.
As I stumbled and grabbed onto her, I heard a voice in my ear.
ãDo you really hate, having sex with me that much?ã
I hear her voice, small but clear, and involuntarily pull away from her.
ãThis is not the place to say that.ã
ãIf you donât think this is the place to say that, letâs go home.ã
Sendai-san grabs my arm and starts walking slowly.
I have no choice but to follow and walk next to her.
Sendai-san is gentle.
There was no need to accommodate me today.
She could have left earlier, and she didnât have to go out in the first place, but she didnât.
Sendai-san always does.
She grants almost all of my wishes. Because Sendai-san is like that, I have a unfair feeling that if I say strongly that I donât want to do something, she wonât have to keep her promise.
ãMiyagi.ã
.
ãâ¦What?ã
ãThe time from here on out is mine.ã
As if to deny what was going on in my head, Sendai-san said.