Itâs hot.
No matter how cold I am, itâs hot in the summer.
Just because itâs near evening time doesnât mean itâs cooler, and I would rather stay home than go out of my way to buy ice cream in the heat.
But apparently, that isnât the case with Sendai-san.
ãMiyagi, you should walk a little faster.ã
Sendai-san, who was walking about three steps ahead of me, stops and looks at me. She seems to be enjoying the event of going to the convenience store to buy ice cream, despite the heat, and her voice is cheerful.
ãEven if I hurry, itâs too hot.ã
ãIf youâre slogging along, youâre going to spend more time walking, and itâs going to get even hotter.ã
Sendai-san pulls me by the arm and starts to walk. I followed her as if dragged along by her arm, but I couldnât move my legs fast enough. I knew I could only walk sloppily, and Sendai-san, who had no intention of walking at a leisurely pace, held my hand.
We inevitably walked hand in hand.
Walking together like this reminds me of what Maika said,ãAnything can be a date if two people who live together go together.ãTo reproduce Maikaâs words exactly, the two people who live together areãtwo people who live together,ãnotãroommatesãbut walking hand in hand like this makes me feel like we are on something like a date.
ãSendai-san, Iâll walk properly, so let go of my hand.ã
I am not concerned about what Maika said.
I also know that we are not dating.
But somehow I didnât want to hold hands, so I waved our joined hands in a flourish.
ãThatâs fine. You donât have to let go.ã
The road to the convenience store.
Cicadas are chirping somewhere, just like in summer, and the occasional breeze is lukewarm. The shadows created by the street trees are modest and unreliable to escape the sunâs rays, and there is still time for the sky to turn red.
It was hot.
Both my hands and my body are hot.
I shake my hand again, wanting to let go, but it still wonât let go. But I still canât let go of her hand. On the contrary, she squeezed me tightly, and when I was about to complain, Sendai-san suddenly muttered,ãOh, Mike-chan,ãand stopped.
ã
ãThe tortoiseshell cat I told you about. Here, come here.ã
Following Sendai-sanâs gaze, I see a tortoiseshell cat that I saw with Maika, a cat that she and I went looking for and couldnât find.
ãIs that cat named Mike?ã
ãMike is a tortoiseshell cat. I call her that on her own.ã
When she said this, Sendai-san easily let go of my hand, which she didnât let go of no matter how I tried, and squatted down on the edge of the sidewalk.
ãCome here, Mike-chanã
The tortoiseshell cat stopped and looked at us. Then, she came up to Sendai-san and mewed briefly,ãNya.ã
The cat doesnât see me.
Sendai-sanâs eyes donât see me either.
A squatting Sendai-san strokes the cat, saying,ãItâs been a long while.ãSince I had been home most of the time since summer vacation, I guess she hadnât seen the tortoiseshell cat that she often see on her way home from college.
ãYou look so cute today.ã
Round and round.
Row around.
The cat clears its throat as if in answer to Sendai-sanâs voice.
The tortoiseshell cat was much friendlier than when Maika and I found her. No, maybe she just misses Sendai-san, but in no time at all, she is lying on the sidewalk and letting her pet her belly.
Sendai-sanâs hand moves back and forth over the tortoiseshell catâs body. She keeps petting the cat as if she doesnât care about me.
The tortoiseshell cat looks happy and seems to want Sendai-san to pet her all the time. But since Sendai-san will be with me throughout the summer vacation, the tortoiseshell cat shouldnât see Sendai-san very often during the vacation.
ãHey, how long are you going to pet that cat?ã
I have nothing against cats, but I donât like the idea of being left alone all the time. It makes my heart flutter to see her interest shift to other things like this. The anxiety that has gathered from somewhere in my body makes me turn my attention to Sendai-san more than ever. Thatâs why, Iâm even more concerned about what she does, which makes me more or less anxious.
ãWhy donât you pet it too, Miyagi?ã
Itâs not the cat I want to pet.
But I couldnât say that, so I bent down and reached out, and the tortoiseshell cat twitched her ears. I stop my hand for a moment to prevent the cat from running away, then try to pet it gently. But the tortoiseshell cat runs away before my hand touches her.
ãSendai-san.ã
Itâs not my fault, but I would call Sendai-san with an accusatory tone.
ãThatâs probably hatred of oneâs own kind.ã
ãI, Iâm not a cat.ã
ãIâve said it before, but I think youâre similar. To the cat.ã
ãI donât see the resemblance.ã
I stand up and tug on Sendai-sanâs arm as she remains crouched.
ãLetâs go already. Itâs hot.ã
ãOkay, okay.ã
Sendai-san stands up and I take my hands off her.
The cat is no longer in sight.
With nothing to take my eyes off of Sendai-san, the surging feeling calms down.
Touching Sendai-san and being touched by her.
If I repeat such things over and over again, will my anxiety stay gone?
ãMiyagi, itâs not safe to dawdle around.ã
A tap on the shoulder and my consciousness turns to walking.
This time, my hand wasnât held.
We walk at a brisk pace, stirring the stagnant, lukewarm air. In no time at all, we were at the convenience store, bought three daysâ worth of ice cream, and headed back home. I walked faster than I went, but by the time I got to the refrigerator, the sizzling, sun-baked ice cream was soaked in sweat and looked like it was about to melt.
ãSendai-san, Iâll put all the ice cream in the freezer.ã
I put the bag of ice cream in the freezer before I get an answer. But Sendai-san immediately opens the just-closed freezer.
ãWhy not? Letâs eat it.ã
Sendai-san then takes the liberty of pulling out soda- and strawberry-flavored popsicles.
ãIt looks melted. Wouldnât it be better to put it in the freezer once?ã
ãItâs not that melted.ã
Sendai-san has no intention of giving up her popsicle and tries to go straight back to her room. I have no choice but to go with her to her room. As we both sat with her bed back to back, Sendai-san handed me a soda-flavored popsicle.
I ripped open the bag and bit into the sky-blue popsicle.
ãI knew it was better to let it cool down once, right?ã
After biting into my second bite, I complained to Sendai-san.
Though delicious, the popsicle is a bit soft and unstable.
ãWell, itâs fine. Even if itâs a little melted.ã
ãItâs not fine. This looks like something you could take off a stick.ã
ãWell, letâs hurry up and eat.ã
Sendai-san said and bit into her popsicle with her big mouth. I have so many things to say, but I just bite into the popsicle without saying a word.
It was hot outside, but eating ice cream like this made me feel glad I went to buy it. When I looked next to her, I saw a satisfied Sendai-san in my eyes, and I stared at her.
ãWant a bite?ã
I didnât mean to prompt her, but a strawberry-scented popsicle is presented to me. I looked at the red popsicle, about a third of which had disappeared, and then returned my gaze to Sendai-san.
ãMiyagi?ã
She called my name and I grabbed Sendai-sanâs arm. But I lick Sendai-sanâs lips without biting the popsicle.
Sweet.
But I couldnât really tell what it tasted like. I licked my lips again to make sure the popsicle really tasted like strawberries.
ãItâs cold, Sendai-san.ã
In the end, Iâm not sure if it was strawberry flavor or not.
ãâ¦Well, were eating ice cream. But itâs not me youâre taking a bite, itâd be the ice cream.ã
ãIf Iâm tasting, it doesnât matter which one I eat.ã
ãYou said youâre done with kissing me, and itâs coming from you, Miyagi. Did you forget?ã
ãThat wasnât a kiss, that was a taste.ã
Yes, I can touch Sendai-sanâs lips because it isnât a kiss.
Even if it was a kiss, the fact that the kiss is over only applies to Sendai-san, not to me.
ãThen Iâd like to taste of yours too.ã
ãYou canât.ã
I stick a half-eaten popsicle to Sendai-sanâs neck.
ãWaiâ cold!ã
Sendai-san escapes from me louder than I expected.
The popsicle had nowhere to go and I bit down on her neck to keep her from going any farther.
The neck, which has been bitten many times, easily burrows my teeth into the skin. But I bite with an added or subtracted bite so that Sendai-san doesnât push me away from her in pain, and I press my tongue against her.
The tip of my tongue, flattened against the air conditioner-cold neck, felt a sweetness that was hard to believe to be human skin. But the neck, which should have been soda-flavored with popsicles, tasted like something else, a mixture of Sendai-sanâs smell and sweat.
ãMiyagi.ã
She taps me on the shoulder with a pop, and I let go of my lips. But I quickly bite down and slowly crawls my tongue up her neck. Sendai-san is no longer sweet. Still, I bit softly and pressed my lips repeatedly against the collarbone. Sendai-san doesnât speak up as she did that day.
The day I touched Sendai-san myself is burned into my brain. The memory is so vivid that even if I wanted to forget it, I could not. I can clearly recall her voice at that moment, her body temperature, what was wetting my fingers, everything.
I want to see that Sendai-san again, who looked only at me and wanted only me. And I want Sendai-san to touch me as much as I do. But I also think itâs an act of too much communion with her and shouldnât be repeated.
ãWait, Miyagi.ã
Sendai-san strongly taps me on the shoulder.
So I bite her shoulder just as hard.
The popsicle melts and falls onto my hand.
ãMiyagi, the ice cream. Itâs going to fall on the floor.ã
As I continued to grind my teeth against her shoulder, pretending not to hear her even though I could, Sendai-san took my popsicle away and called meãMiyagi,ãagain. I reluctantly look up and see Sendai-san.
ãOpen your mouth.ã
I hear a low voice, and when I open my mouth maturely, a popsicle is shoved into it. I have no choice but to put the melting popsicle away in my stomach and then wipe her hands with a tissue.
ãIâm all sticky.ã
Itâs not a wet wipe, so she canât wipe the popsicle clean off her hands.
ãThatâs right. I mean, Miyagi is acting so weird that even Iâm getting sticky.ã
Sendai-san, who had finished his popsicle, said in dismay.
ãIâm a cat, so I can lick you, canât I?ã
ãA cat?ã
ãYou said hatred of oneâs own kind when we went to the convenience store.ã
ãLike I said, why do you do these things when weâre eating?ã
ãYou donât need a reason for this kind of thing, do you? Besides, it looked like Sendai-san was going to do it if I left it alone, so I went ahead and did it.ã
ãReally, Miyagi, youâre an idiot. If youâre going to do it, do it when weâre not eating ice cream.ã
Then Sendai-san puts her lips on my neck.
Her damp breath blows on me, tickling me and making me feel good.
But I felt that a good kiss from Sendai-san was already over, and if I allowed the kiss to continue, it wouldnât end with just a kiss, so I pushed her body.
ãMiyagi. Are you free the day after tomorrow?ã
She didnât complain, but asks about my schedule.
ãIâm free, butâ¦ã
ãThen, can we do this thing we agreed to go out the day after tomorrow?ã
ãItâs fine, but where are we going?ã
ãThatâs for us to enjoy on the day.ã
Sendai-san smiled happily as she said this.