I spin the pen on my fingers.
I open my textbook and run the pen through my notebook as if Miyagi is trying to get me out of her sight.
I turn the pen once more. But this time the pen fell from my fingers and made a crunching sound. Yet Miyagi did not look up.
ãIâll do your homework, come here.ã
Tapping on the space next to her, I called Miyagi.
ãI donât want to.ã
Without looking up, Miyagi answers.
ãOkay, Iâm coming to you.ã
ãYou canât.ã
ãWas that an order?ã
When I asked, Miyagi looked up.
ãAn order.ã
She says so strongly, I canât move.
I give up and look at my textbook, honestly thinking that if itâs an order, I have no choice.
I am always saved by the word âorder.â Many times I would make Miyagi give orders and confront her with a choice, while she herself would shrug and back off because of the orders. In fact, I am not as enthusiastic as Miyagi told me to be.
Just as I didnât have the courage to make a decisive change in their relationship then, I donât have the courage to go next door to defy Miyagiâs words now. Perhaps Miyagi would not dare to come next to me either. So I guess there is a distance between us today.
ãSendai-san, I donât understand here.ã
ãWhere?ã
An unfriendly voice calls out to me and I look at Miyagi, pointing to a textbook with an open pen nib.
ãHere.ã
ãItâs kind of hard to see from here.ã
I know the part Miyagi is referring to.
I also know what kind of problem it is.
There is not such a big problem with looking at a textbook with numbers lined up backwards, but it does provide an opportunity to fill in the empty space next to it. But Miyagi silently turns the textbook towards me.
ãMiyagiâs stingy.ã
I complained while scribbling on a textbook that I had nothing against, and it was quickly erased.
ãWhat is it about that Iâm stingy?ã
ãThatâs what Iâm talking about.ã
ãStop talking nonsense and tell me.ã
ãOkay, okay.ã
I answer curtly and look at her textbook. As I explained how to solve the puzzle, writing the formula on the edge of my notebook, Miyagi, looking as if she understood, laid out the numbers on the paper.
If only I had kept going that day.
I have imagined such a thing several times in the past few days, but I think it is something that should be left to the imagination.
I donât have the innocent idea that I shouldnât do this if I am not in a relationship, but if we had done it all the way through, we wouldnât be doing our homework together like this. In that light, I should commend myself for not doing more than that a few days ago.
ãIs it right?ã
Miyagi looks up as she comes up with the answer.
ãIt was right.ã
Miyagi quickly dropped her gaze to her textbook when she saw the words in the notebook and told her so.
ãSo, Miyagi. Are there other orders?ã
I ask her to pull her feelings out of her textbooks, but she doesnât respond. She is grumpy and silent.
I can only imagine why Miyagi would not open her mouth.
If I carelessly order her to do so, it will probably cause her to rehash our summer vacation. Commands that were once as trivial asãread my bookãorãdo my homeworkãsomehow became dangerous, and giving the usual commands sounded like a request for a continuation of summer vacation. On the other hand, if I only order her not to come this way and do nothing else, there will be nowhere else for the 5,000 yen to go.
I donât need the 5,000 yen anymore.
I could say that. But I donât want to say I donât want it, because if I say I donât want it, then there will be no reason for me to come here.
Out of the corner of my eye, Miyagi rolls up her textbook as if looking for the words she should say. Of course, there is no answer written in such a place, and she says in a low voice with her eyes downcast.
ãFinish my homework and go home.ã
ãIs that a good order to give?ã
ãOkay.ã
Miyagi, who said this, did not have anãokayãlook on her face from any angle.
I know this because we have known each other for a long time. Miyagi said what she said because she had to say something.
ãI should get another order.ã
ãWhy is Sendai-san ordering me around?ã
ãIâll be done with your homework in no time.ã
The homework assigned is not that much. It only takes me an hour to finish and itâs always much faster than when I leave.
ãThe order, is that what you just gave me?ã
I can expect Miyagi to give me a different order, but I ask just the same.
ãâ¦My hair, do it.ã
Miyagi says in a whispered voice.
ãYour hair?ã
ãYou said youâd do my hair before.ã
Before, what I said before.
When I trace my memory back through Miyagiâs words, I will soon find what I was looking for. I said that when I was looking at a magazine I bought for Umina around the end of her midterm test.
ãHow would you like it done?ã
I remember what I said to Miyagi, but I donât remember the girl in that magazine, her face or her hair.
ãAnything as long as you donât do anything weird.ã
ãWhatâs that?ã
ãJust make it good anyway.ã
A general request flies in, but the person does not move.
She sits across from me and looks at me.
ãMiyagi, come here.ã
I am not psychic nor can I stretch my arms, so I canât touch her hair unless Miyagi moves. She should have known that, but she showed no sign of getting up.
ãDo you think I can touch your hair as it is?ã
I could go to Miyagi, but I know that I would not look good.
ãMiyagi.ã
When I called again, Miyagi stood up with a reluctant look on her face and came and sat down next to me at a little distance.
Donât be so alarmed.
I mutter in my mind that I wonât do anything, and take a brush out of my bag.
ãYour back, this way.ã
When I moved a little closer and tapped Miyagiâs shoulder, her body shook with a jerk. Still, she honestly turned her back to me and touched her hair, which was longer than her shoulders. This time, her body did not sway, but I could feel the tension from her back.
It was hard to do.
As she said, she canât trust me, and the tense atmosphere around Miyagi makes me nervous too.
ãYour hair, itâs beautiful.ã
I utter a few commonplace compliments, hoping to ease the stiff air. That being said, it is true, her black hair is silky and runs through the fingers.
But Miyagi doesnât reply.
I also silently comb her hair.
I still canât remember the hairstyle of the girl in the magazine, and Miyagiâs request is vague and unclear. I give up on relying on memory or responding to requests and scoop up a lock of Miyagiâs hair and braid it.
ãBraids?ã
Miyagi, with her back stretched out, turns her face half towards me.
ãYeah. Would you like a different hairstyle?ã
There are a number of cute hairstyles.
I can look for a hairstyle that looks good on Miyagi from the images in my phone. But I will continue to weave Miyagiâs hair.
ãWhatever you like⦠The magazine you used to look at had a much different hairstyle.ã
Instead of saying anything is fine, Miyagi says, as if anything is not fine.
ãIâm going to make you cute.ã
I donât want to say I donât remember the girl from the magazine.
If she had braids, I would be able to touch Miyagiâs hair for a long time.
I donât want to say more about how I feel about such things.
ãIt doesnât have to be cute.ã
Miyagi replied, looking forward. Then she continued,ãYou know what?ã
ãWhat?ã
ãI will continue to call you Sendai-san and give you orders.ã
ãI know.ã
ãWell, then, until the graduation ceremony, if I call you, come here as before.ã
For the first time, the deadline for the order is clearly delimited.
I, too, thought I could only stay in this room until graduation. Iâve always thought that was about right, but Iâm going to voice out the remaining time.
ãYou mean about six more months?ã
ãYes. Until then, part of Sendai-sanâs after-school time is mine.ã
When Miyagi said it as if it were a matter of course, the air loosened a little, and the word âtensionâ that had been firmly attached to my back was peeled off about a third of the time.
I untie the braid I made and braid it again.
Miyagi sits there without complaining.
The hair is silky to the touch.
The same scent that comes from Miyagiâs bed tickles my nose. I move a little closer to Miyagi, as if lured by the scent of shampoo, which is different from mine or that of Umina, Mariko and the others.
ãSix months, huh⦠Thatâs short.ã
She spits out the words as if muttering.
My fingertips continue to weave her hair.
ãThatâs right.ã
Miyagi said in a voice devoid of emotion.