The teacherâs talk is long.
It was so long that I wondered if it was making it longer on purpose.
The chime has already sounded.
I close my textbook and notebook and take an eraser out of my pen case. I kick the floor with my toes, reminding the teacher, who continues to stand at the podium, to get out of here as soon as possible.
Quickly, quickly, hurry.
I looked at the teacher so hard I could see a hole in its eyes, and it handed out the handouts and slunk out of the classroom, saying what was wrong with my homework.
I quickly clean up my desk and go to Umina.
ãSorry, you all can go ahead and eat. I have to go somewhere.ã
Lunch break was long for a break, but short for what I am about to do. There was no time to relax.
ãItâs fine, where are you going?ã
ãSome errand next door.ã
After saying this, I head to the next class.
In my hand is a single eraser.
Its owner is in the next class.
One pair is just a short walk down the hallway, and they smile amiably at the girls at the entrance and ask them to call Miyagi. A high-pitched voice echoes through the classroom,ãMiyagi-sanâ!ãandãWhat?ãand Miyagiâs voice was heard.
The voice comes from one of the seats in the back.
Miyagi, with a friend, looked surprised. As if to push her into a corner, the girl who asked to be called adds,ãMy friend is here.ã
Miyagiâs voice is grim.
But it was only for a moment.
Itâs surprising to not see you mad while at school.
It would be interesting if that happened, but Miyagi is not going to lose her reserved look. I was spoken to by a friend who rolled her eyes at the word âfriendâ and answered something with a vague look on her face before coming over to me.
ãâ¦We are in school.ã
Miyagi says, raising her eyebrows grimly but annoyed.
ãI know.ã
ãThen donât talk to me. Thatâs the rule.ã
Her biting voice is nothing but frustration.
However, it seems to remain in her consciousness that she must not be heard by others, so she speaks in a whisper that only I can hear.
ãThis was in my pocket. Returning something like this is like delivering a lost and found, and I could talk to you at school.ã
I show Miyagi the eraser in my hand.
ãThat isâã
ãYou donât have to return it, Iâll give it to you. Right?ã
When I take away the line she was about to say, Miyagi falls silent.
Itâs a given that she would say something like that at a time like this.
Miyagi and I are together enough to know that.
ãYou can have it, but first we need to talk.ã
I tucked the eraser into my skirt pocket and then grabbed Miyagiâs arm.
ãEh, waitâã
ãWeâll stand out here, so follow me.ã
I think weâre already stand out.
But itâs better than continuing to stand at the entrance of the classroom.
I walk in Miyagi trailing behind me.
The hallway at lunchtime was reasonably crowded, and walking down the hallway with Miyagiâs hand in the air was even more noticeable than before. Miyagi noticed it too, and immediately waved me off and started to walk away on her own. She think that if she run away, I will come after her, and she follow me silently without complaining.
At the end of the old school building, I push the unusually obedient Miyagi into the music preparation room. Then I take her to the back of the preparation room, which is lined with instruments I have seen and those I donât understand.
ãWhat are we doing here? I was having lunch.ã
Coming to a place where students rarely come during recess, Miyagi did not hide her bad mood. The low voice, which I have heard many times, tells me that Miyagi is angry.
ãWe canât talk otherwise, and youâll run away.ã
Leaning my back against the shelf where the instruments are placed, I grabs Miyagiâs arm again.
Miyagi, who looked as if she had forgotten her affection somewhere, did not resist. She stood in front of me, meekly holding my arm.
ãWe promised not to talk with each other at school.ã
ãWe donât talk to each other at school, and Miyagi said to use her phone to contact me, but I didnât say I would either.ã
I think this is sophistry.
Last year I accepted Miyagiâs suggestion, meaning that I would do the same, and that became the rule for both of us. So Miyagiâs words were more correct. But I couldnât pull it off.
I have something I want to ask Miyagi and something I want to say.
ãEven if it was⦠thereâs nothing to talk about here.ã
Miyagi almost accepts my words, which are not reasonable, but immediately turns resentful eyes on me.
ãEven if Miyagi doesnât have one, I have.ã
ãWell, why donât you just talk about it next time you come over to my house?ã
ãMiyagi would not call me at a time like this. He would just call me and be done with it.ã
ãIâll call you.ã
ãWhen?ã
ãâ¦In the meantime.ã
Miyagi said in a voice that was at a loss for words and did not feel the need to call.
I knew I had to ask here.
If I let go of her hand now, I will never see Miyagi again.
I put strength into my hand that gripped her arm.
ãI have a question for you, so answer it.ã
I donât hear good or bad, but I continue to say the words.
ãWhy did you kick me out?ã
Only my voice echoes in the old, not-so-flattering preparation room.
Miyagi does not speak, nor does she move. The polished instruments, which did not resemble the age-old music preparation room, did nothing to change the stagnant air between us.
ãJust answer the question.ã
When I tugged on her arm, Miyagi stepped away as if to express her intention not to answer.
ãDonât tell me what to do.ã
ãYes, I can. This is not Miyagiâs house.ã
The only place Miyagi is allowed to give orders is in her own home.
She pays 5,000 yen to buy the right to give me orders.
Those are the rules, and they donât apply in schools.
ãI just asked you to leave because they had done their business. I didnât kick you out.ã
Miyagi said as if she had given up and tried to shake my hand,ãThatâs enough, right?ãBut I donât intend to let go.
ãWas that the end of your errand?ã
ãI ordered you to close your eyes, and Sendai-san closed her eyes. Thatâs the end of the order. I have nothing else to do.ã
ãThat order, were you sure that was the right way to end it?ã
ãI told you that was the end of it.ã
ãYou tried to do something about that distance. Is that okay?ã
I am not an honest person by nature, but I feel that this becomes more pronounced when I am with Miyagi. Itâs the same now. Iâm trying to get answers out of Miyagi, even though it was me who made him do something.
But things donât work out that way.
ãItâs all in Sendai-sanâs imagination, right?ã
Miyagi abandons her answer and shakes my hand.
I feel a twinge in my chest as she turns away and tries to leave the preparation room.
ãYeah, right. Miyagi, are you studying for the test?ã
When I called out to her as if I had an idea, Miyagi turned around with a dubious look on her face.
ãWhat is it suddenly?ã
ãI didnât do it. Itâs Miyagiâs fault I canât move forward. Take responsibility.ã
ãI donât know what that means.ã
ãDo you have your smartphone right now?ã
ãDo I have to answer? Thatâsâ¦ã
ãIâm asking if you have it or not.ã
ãâ¦â¦I left it in the classroom.ã
ãCall me today. Itâs for me.ã
I will not send you a message.
It is Miyagiâs job to send them, and that is today.
I am not in a good mood enough to spoil her.
ãWhat if I donât want to?ã
Miyagi says, looking dismayed.
She looks as if she is already on the verge of returning to the classroom, and it almost makes me sick.
ãCall me even if you donât want to, I promise. Oh, and Iâll return your eraser.ã
I approach Miyagi and look her in the eye.
Then I grabbed her wrist and forced her to hold the eraser.
ãI donât want it. Iâll give it to you.ã
ãThen, Iâll give it at Miyagiâs house.ã
Without accepting the eraser, I left the music preparation room, leaving Miyagi behind.
When I returned to the classroom, there doesnât seem to be time to eat lunch and I get ready for my next class.
To trick my empty stomach, I toss a candy bar into my mouth.
When I finished the class after listening to the teacherâs long talk, I received a message from Miyagi on my phone.