I Didn’t Even Want to Live, But God Forced Me to Reincarnate!

Food was served quickly, it made me wonder if there are some workers from the royal kitchen that are on standby for night shift, or if some other workers woke the royal kitchen’s chef up should there be any request?
I noticed that Schelri only had tea and a dessert. The dessert was a clear blue jelly-like thing, but there was definitely something weird with the texture and form of the jelly. It was more similar to a slime than a jelly…
As for me, I noticed that I was served some kind of steak with milk as the drink.
As for Carbuncle, I almost popped my eyes off when the lid covering her meal was removed.
On her plate was what seemed to be a raw chicken-meat like thing, but it still had its reddish orange feather intact, and more importantly… it was blazing!
Though it was blazing, it gave the impression that the meat was uncooked, how could it be?
Seeing my eyes practically going round in wonder, Schelri spoke after taking a small sip of her tea.
“You must be wondering. Let me introduce the dishes one by one to you. First, I am eating a dessert made of slime. It must be the closest to jelly dessert, but personally, I like using raw slime more. I guess it’s just the dragon in me. The tea I am drinking is made of herbs you probably have never heard of, since they only grow in the dragon’s continent. I think… it might be toxic to creatures other than dragons.”
”What’s served for you is what I think should be safe for humans to eat. I brought the ingredients before for humans to try, and they seemed to be alright with those. The milk was processed from a gryphon’s, and the steak was made of minotaur’s meat. Don’t worry, I have ordered the kitchen to cook them before.”
Before I could finish my line of thoughts, Schelri already continued introducing the food.
”Meanwhile, what Crbnkl is having is Pyrpgrnt’s specialty: phoenix meat and the drink is phoenix’s tears.”
I gulped.
My principle was to try out the local’s specialty dish whenever I were to visit a place… but this time, it didn’t seem like I would be able to try out the specialty dish of Pyrpgrnt kingdom…
Seemingly able to read what was on my mind, Schelri quickly said, “Don’t you think of trying what we are eating. It can damage your stomach, so it’s best to stay away from them.”
With that, the small absurd idea of trying just a small bite, quickly disappeared from my mind.
”Alright, enough talking! My stomach is starving! I will concentrate on eating, talk to you guys later!” Carbuncle said before she wolfed the phoenix meat and the phoenix tears as if they were some heaven’s food.
I almost got tempted again, but I quickly turned away and looked at the food in front of me.
My stomach almost growled and I almost drooled. Without further ado, I took a bite to try the taste and—
I quickly ate my meal in silent. Sometimes I’d glance to see how Carbuncle and Schelri were doing.
Carbuncle seemed to be engrossed in her own world as she ate without feeling like the fire was burning her mouth and her insides. It seemed as if she was used to eating such food.
Meanwhile, Schelri seemed to be happy watching over the two of us eating and enjoying the food. She would eat and drink her dessert and tea at a leisure pace.
“So yummy! It’s been so long since I ate dragon food! I should probably pack some more food to bring back and eat with my friends later on,” Carbuncle said as she slapped her full stomach.
I still had some left on my plate, so I quickened my pace.
”Well, I will help you pack some food you can bring back and probably share with your human friends,” Schelri said to Carbuncle.
”That would help me! Thanks, Schelri~!”
I finally finished my meal.
”How did you find your meal?” Schelri asked with sparkling eyes.
”It is… something else. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s unlike anything I used to eat back home. But it is also quite delicious, though I haven’t gotten used to the taste yet…” I said, confused on how I should describe the taste.
Then, I continued, “We have gryphons back then but it’s not like anyone tried to milk them… As for minotaur, I think there’s some rare and exquisite delicacy with minotaur’s meat as well–”
“The gryphons and minotaurs living in the dragon’s continent are different from the ones living outside. I think they taste different too,” Schelri explained.
“Huh… How do you know so much about the world outside the dragon’s continent? And how do you know my family name?” I asked.
“It’s complicated, but…,” Schelri said as she gave orders to her maid, Blze, to tidy up the empty plates as Blze gave us water to drink for the night.
“I spent most of my childhood years outside the dragon’s continent due to some complicated family matters going on, before eventually returning here. During that time, I was particularly close to some human party. In hindsight, I should’ve spent my time with elves and Onis who live longer than humans, but they were so closed off to outsiders. Compared to humans who seem used to blend with other races, so I guess it was a safer choice…,” Schelri explained.
I wanted to ask about what caused her to live and grow up not among her fellow dragons, but it seemed like Schelri didn’t really want to talk about it, so I chose to not pursue the matter, lest I offend her…
“As for how I knew your lineage, it’s apparent from your heterochromatic eyes. Chances are you are one of the Hartmann, as they are the only lineage with heterochromia as their familial inheritance. Oh, did I mention that I had some kind of adventure with some humans that happened to be members of the Riviera royal family and the four ducal families?” Schelri asked.
I shook my head, “I heard about it just now. So… you knew my ancestor?”
Schelri nodded, “Maybe he’s your… grandfather? Or great grandfather? An edgy boy, but given his circumstances back then, it was natural for him to be like that. I liked teasing him… He easened up a lot in his old days. Last time I had contact with the Hartmann family, it was with his child and grandchild. …I don’t remember seeing you among them, so maybe he must have been your great grandfather.”
“Uhm… care to give me a name?” I asked, though a bit doubtful. If he was indeed my great grandfather, then Schelri should’ve known my dad.
“Rei Orville Hartmann. Does the name ring a bell?” Schelri asked.
I racked my brains.
At the very least, I’d be familiar with the name of my grandfather, as for great grandfather… Yes, not Rei Orville Hartmann. But I felt like the name sounded familiar somehow…
“Schelri, he might have been Lyra’s great, great, great… how many greats have it been? Great great great great grandfather. Yeah, you know what I mean,” Carbuncle chimed in.
“Ah… Is that so?” Schelri was taken aback at first. Then, a sudden realization seemed to hit her, and then she suddenly turned mellow.
“My childhood friend had gone off to have great great great great granddaughter. Indeed, he has long gone from this world. Perhaps he has experienced the cycle of rebirth several times by now? How could I have forgotten, when I attended his funeral? Time does flow differently for us… Hahaha…,” Schelri bitterly laughed.
“Yeah…,” Carbuncle, the embodiment of energy and jolliness, suddenly turned mellow as well.
“Meanwhile… I don’t think my life has changed drastically ever since we parted ways. It’s sad to remember how my friends’ children, even their grandchildren or great grandchildren wouldn’t get to see my children…”
“Uhm… you have children?” I asked.
“Not yet, but hopefully soon,” Schelri just smiled.
“Ah yeah, and then you will finally get to have a rite of marriage with your long-term lover!” Carbuncle said happily.
“Huh?” I tilted my head in confusion.
“Lyr, rites of marriage signifies the forming of a new family unit, so it happens after two dragons have a child–or at least lay an egg,” Carbuncle explained for me.
“R-really?” I was surprised by this culture shock.
It made sense now.
What might be normal to us, would be odd to others and vice versa.
“I am getting sleepier now, why don’t we lay down on the bed as we continue our conversation?” Carbuncle asked while yawning.
“Ah yes, come. Are you fine with sleeping on the same bed as me?” Schelri asked.
“Of course! It’s been awhile since we last caught up. We definitely need to catch up more. If I were to sleep in a different room, we won’t be able to continue catching up,” Carbuncle gladly welcomed Schelri’s idea.
“Would it be fine?” I asked in doubt.
“Yes, just come here!” Schelri didn’t have any hint of hesitation, she really meant her words.
We then lied on the bed, with Carbuncle in the middle of Schelri and me.
“...Seeing Lyr here made me realize that us dragons and the non-draconis races have really different lives. Even how time flows for us is significantly different, huh?” Schelri suddenly said in a daze.
“...Indeed,” Carbuncle muttered.
“Are you still visiting Riviera and the other countries after coming back home?” I asked.
“Well, like I said before, I visited my friends from time to time when they were still alive, just to see how they were faring. It was a long time ago. Ah, you see, most of my precious friends there were humans, and they happened to have short lives compared to us dragons. And actually, the last time I went outside of Dragon's Heritage and visited Riviera was… when the last of my friends was on their deathbed… I left after their funeral, and have never returned ever since…,” Schelri said with a dazed look that seemed to have recalled the memories of the days she spoke of.
“It was… just too painful to keep visiting after that. It would make me remember how our lives and flow of time were so different. I didn’t want to keep coming back there to be reminded of that, and the fact that they were gone, every time I see their children, their grandchildren, and so on…,” Schelri said with teary eyes.
“...I apologize for reminding you of it…,” I said, with a guilty look on my face.
After all, it was undeniable that the topic and the memories resurfaced with my presence.
“No, it’s alright. Forgive me for getting all emotional suddenly. And your presence is so welcome! Never would I have dreamed of seeing a reminder of my friend, visiting the Dragon’s Heritage! The fact that you had a mix of dragon blood, the fact that you got to be friends with Crbnkl, and the fact that you had to come here to meet me… I believe it’s a work of fate!” Schelri said with a genuine happy tone.
“I’m glad I made the right decision,” Carbuncle said.
“But such is the fate of the dragons. I do wonder sometimes if the reason behind the dragons’ decisions to live secludedly in the Dragon’s Heritage, shutting down any communication with others is not due to us getting tired of the non-draconis races’ wars, but because we want to prevent any of the dragons from ever experiencing that kind of bitter pain…?”
I was speechless at Schelri’s sudden speculation.
Perhaps it was true, perhaps it wasn’t. Or maybe both reasons were true.
I also heard a theory about how dragons’ power was way too overwhelming compared to other races, and if they were to get involved, it would bring devastating results to war. Perhaps the dragons cared about the other races’ lives, or perhaps they didn’t want to get dragged into the others’ conflicts and be taken advantage of, so they made that decision and never looked back.
“But Schelri… Even so, despite that pain, I remember that you always used to tell me that the short time in your childhood that you spent with the humans was one of your most precious moments, one that you would never forget. That’s what actually intrigued me to experience that for myself,” Carbuncle suddenly told Schelri.
“You’re right. I hope you won’t regret it and blame me in the end,” Schelri bitterly smiled.
“Well… You’re right. One day, I will have to face the same pain that you felt. I might be unable to understand just how painful it is before I experience it myself. But you know, Schelri? I think it’s a miracle that I got to meet my friends, my silly little human friends, and got to go on a memorable journey so far. You also mentioned how fate has brought the descendant of your little human friend to come here. Perhaps it was indeed fated for me to encounter Lyr. I don’t know how I will think of it later on, but right now, I am sure that I haven’t regretted a single thing.”
I was surprised to see Carbuncle speak for so long, but what surprised me even more was that it was my first time seeing Carbuncle being so serious and emotional like this.
“You’re right… Crbnkl, what are the odds that I happened to meet with my friends who had such a short lifespan, and spend meaningful time with them? And you know… even after knowing this pain of having to outlive them, being the only one remaining alive among all my friends… I wouldn’t have traded it with anything. If I were to redo my life… I wouldn’t hesitate in meeting them once more, though I had to relive the pain as well.”
“...Me too,” Carbuncle muttered in a barely audible voice.
Then, it was as if a dam just broke. Schelri suddenly sobbed.
“You know, Crbnkl? I wish I could have enjoyed those moments more. It passed by so fast… I wish I had made more memories with them, I wish I had captured those moments and had more mementos… I didn’t know back then that it would be a moment I would miss so much and that I couldn’t have repeated those moments again. I feel silly now… thinking that there were moments that I wished they could quickly pass. Now, I don’t want them to quickly pass,” Schelri said while crying.
And Carbuncle, she hugged and comforted the crying princess.
Even I got my eyes teary by this point. Listening to her sorrowful cries and recalling what they just talked about.
It was my first time knowing that behind Carbuncle’s recklessness and cheerfulness, she had known this all along. Despite that, Carbuncle chose to continue to be by our side. She could have turned away the moment she felt attachment to us, to avoid the pain of saying goodbye and outliving us.
Me and my friends’ lifetime would be a long time to us, but it might be a short time for Carbuncle…
Perhaps this was also the reason why there were not many interracial marriages, especially among those possessing differing lifespans. Aside from the difficulty of having offsprings, the pain of having to outlive their other half must hurt a lot.
Even among those of the same lifespan or same race, and those with the same age, some people still had to live through the pain of outliving their peers. For some, they might have outlived the others by a short while, but there were also those outliving the people they loved by a wide margin.
But such is the reality of life.
Every ‘
’ is actually the beginning of ‘
’.
Despite that, we actively choose to have these new encounters, getting close with one another, and spending time with them.
At that time, I was reminded of a sentence that I had heard or read somewhere.