I Didn’t Even Want to Live, But God Forced Me to Reincarnate!

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"Alt-nii, wait! This doesn't make any sense! That's definitely not Clavis... Right?"
I quickly shifted my gaze to Alt-nii and spoke with a trembling voice. No, I wasn't trembling because of the cold. I was trembling because of the terrifying possibility...
Alt-nii stayed quiet for a moment before he said with a calm voice--or it was more likely a voice that he forced to be calm, "Look carefully, Lyra. Isn't that Clavis' clothes over there?"
Alt-nii then pointed out to a spot near the wolf beast. And sure enough, I narrowed my eyes to see what seemed to be a boy's clothes. It wasn't that obvious because the color was almost the same with the snowy background.
"..."
I remained silent after seeing what Alt-nii seemed to have seen before he arrived to that conclusion.
It was a definitive evidence.
Unless we were to think that the wolf beast ate Clavis... No, no, I think it's better to think that the wolf beast was really Clavis rather than that!
But the wolf beast's condition was odd.
It was clearly Alt-nii and me, yet why did Clavis roar at us like that if it was really him?
It didn't make any sense to me.
"Ruru...," Rurune lowered her head and growled in a low voice.
"...I can only say that based on my intuition, it's really Clavis. And the logical reason behind this incidence is that Clavis is actually a werebeast all along instead of just a normal beastman...," Alt-nii muttered.
"I-I know the differences between beastmen and werebeasts, but Clavis was always a beastman all his life, wasn't he? And yet..."
"Perhaps... It only manifested just now?"
"...? Is it really how it works?"
"Who knows," Alt-nii shrugged his shoulders before he continued, "but we have one mission right now. That is, to bring Clavis back."
Alt-nii then looked at the wolf beast with a serious look and eyes full of determination.
I gulped. Things were really getting out of hands.
Alt-nii walked slowly towards the wolf beast. Rurune was floating at the same spot, observing both Alt-nii and the wolf beast. Meanwhile, I was frozen on the spot, not knowing what to do.
As Alt-nii approached the wolf beast without any hesitation, the wolf beast roared once more, as if preventing Alt-nii from taking a step closer.
Alt-nii halted at the wolf beast's roar.
"You're Clavis, right? I know it, I can tell, and I'm sure of it. What are you doing, roaring here at me?" Alt-nii said with a calm voice.
"Grrr," the wolf beast only growled again at Alt-nii.
As I thought, the wolf beast really wasn't Clavis...?
Look at the wolf beast roaring at Alt-nii.
If it were Clavis, surely he won't do that, right?
However, Alt-nii was still convinced it was Clavis.
Is it because of the bond they have?
Or is Alt-nii in a denial because we couldn't find Clavis?
"Clavis... Let's go back," Alt-nii said in a firm tone as he approached the wolf beast steadily.
In response to such Alt-nii... The wolf beast still growled but it stepped back instead.
"What's wrong? Why are you retreating? Not going home? Your mother is worried sick of you."
Yet, Alt-nii didn't give up.
I wasn't sure what triggered it, but the wolf beast seemed to be angry as it roared.
"Why are you getting angry? Feeling agitated? Because I mentioned your mother? You should have taken a look at her face when she came to our house. Why are you doing this to her?"
The distance between Alt-nii and the wolf beast was close now and...
Suddenly, the wolf beast roared and aimed his sharp claws at Alt-nii!
"Ruru!" Rurune quickly floated to Alt-nii as I also shouted.
"Alt-nii, watch out!"
I ran as fast as I could towards Alt-nii's direction. But I couldn't make it on time.
My heart was thumping so hard as I watched the wolf beast trying to attack my brother. My mind went blank--although I knew I should do something!
Deep inside my heart, there was still a deep-rooted disbelief that was conflicting inside. This conflicting thought caused my inability to react.
That is definitely not Clavis! Clavis wouldn't hurt Alt-nii, right?
Thankfully, Alt-nii's reflex was so good that he managed to set up a Void shield in an instant as he dodged.
"Alt-nii, that definitely isn't Clavis... Right?" I shouted the question that had been bugging my mind.
"...Clavis. Were you trying to say, [you wouldn't understand] just now? So, you're angry at me right now, aren't you?"
...I just learned that my big brother had this unyielding side to him.
"Lyra, he is really Clavis. I heard his voice just now," Alt-nii said without turning over here.
"...Alt-nii, stop talking nonsense!"
"Ruruu...!"
Oddly, Rurune floated in front of me and growled in disagreement.
"What, Ruru? Are you telling me it's Clavis, too? But..."
"Ruru... Ru!"
Suddenly, Rurune shot two magical beams. One was towards me, while the other one was towards Alt-nii.
Then, a telepathic voice could be heard inside my mind, and perhaps inside Alt-nii's mind as well.
[With my current power, this is the only thing I can do. Listen.]
"...!"
The voice was calm, majestic, and beautiful.
Was it Rurune's voice...?
Rurune could do such a thing...?!
I saw Alt-nii’s body shuddered a bit—it seemed that it was his first time listening to Rurune’s telepathic voice, too.
And then, as the wolf beast growled once more, I heard another voice in my mind. This time, it was a familiar voice, yet at the same time, it felt unfamiliar.
{HOW CAN I GO HOME LIKE THIS?}
The voice was full of anger... And agony.
It was Clavis' voice that was mixed with a beast's voice...
No way...
So... The beast is really...?!
...deep down, I also had a hunch.
But I was denying it too much as it didn't make sense, but look...
[That's the beast's voice. I just used my power to let you humans listen. Now, my magical spell is at its limit, so...]
The voice--Rurune's telepathic voice turned distant as it finally faded away.
"...I know, Rurune. You don't have to worry. Clavis and I have a special bond. It lets me understand what he's trying to say, even in this form. ...at least, that's what I believe."
"... I... This..."
“Ruru!” Rurune said in an affirmative voice.
Really, compared to her majestic telepathic voice, this cute and growl of hers...
How to say it? Ah yes, it doesn’t match at all!
However, it seemed that Alt-nii and I didn’t really mind about Rurune’s sudden telepathic voice and such matter...
Now that we’ve confirmed that it was really Clavis (as per Alt-nii’s belief)...
“How did you become like this, Clavis?”
I looked straight at Clavis’ glowing red eyes and gulped. I clenched my hands so that I could brace myself more.
“Grrr...”
However, it was no use. Now that Rurune’s magic had faded away, I could no longer understand Clavis’ beastly language.
“Well, I’m not sure about it myself, Lyra, but Clavis and I have talked about werebeasts before and...,” Alt-nii seemed to be thinking.
Then, Alt-nii extended his hand to me, a magical circle floated from the hand before a tiny magical light was fired towards me.
“...?” As the magical light gently touched my forehead, a memory popped up in my mind.
Alt-nii’s voice felt like it was so distant as I drifted into the memory.
“It’s faster to convey it like this. For now, I’ve got my hands full with... Clavis.”
A young Alt-nii and Clavis.
Then, the two children were laughing.
Yes, they still didn’t know anything.
So... the only explanation I got was that... Clavis got ‘cursed’ and became a ‘werebeast’?
But how in the hell did that happen?
On what basis one could get that werebeast curse?
And... banished... being labelled as ‘cursed’...
{HOW CAN I GO HOME LIKE THIS?}
Clavis’ words earlier... Now I understand. What he’s thinking, what he’s feeling inside.
When I regained my senses back, I realized Alt-nii was confronting Clavis.
“I have to bring you back, Clavis! Even if it meant by force!” Alt-nii declared.
“GRRRR!”
“You don’t want to go home? Don’t be selfish, Clavis! Your parents deserve some explanation, not a goodbye like this!!”
“GRRRAAARRR!!”
Clavis actually attacked Alt-nii again with his claws and... tail! His tail was quite big now that he was in his beast mode, so it would hurt getting hit by it.
However, Alt-nii managed to dodge them and cast a magical shield to protect himself whenever he couldn’t dodge an attack.
When Alt-nii gave his counterattack, it wasn’t anything offensive. If I guessed correctly, he only chanted restrictive spells and spells that would hinder Clavis’ movements.
Even so... Clavis could still move, despite it being slower than before.
The two of them continued to fight like that, ignoring me and Rurune.
I looked at Rurune and said, “Ruru... What should we do?”
“Ruru...,” Rurune also seemed to be bewildered.
Moreover... Is it just me or Clavis seems to be losing himself more and more as he indulges himself in the battle?
“Wait, Alt-nii, something is wrong...”
But I was ignored.
“Alt-nii, wait... Clavis, can you stop?”
The two males ignored me.
Annoyed, I stomped my feet to the ground and inhaled. Then...
“CAN YOU TWO WAIT RIGHT THERE?!”
My sudden loud voice seemed to have attracted their attention as the two of them stopped fighting.
However, Clavis’ body trembled as if he couldn’t really control himself.
So, I approached him calmly.
“Grrr...”
Even if he growled at me angrily.
“Lyra? What are you doing? Stand back, I’ll bring Clavis back at all cost,” Alt-nii tried to stop me.
Yes, even if Alt-nii tried to stop me, I won’t stop.
Because...
I feel like we’re going to lose Clavis if things continue like this.
“No, Alt-nii,” I shook my head.
“Don’t use force. Haven’t you realized that Clavis seems to be more agitated and rampaging when you’re trying to bring him back by force?”
“That’s what we call being persistent, Lyra... But once I succeed, he will calm down and we can talk,” Alt-nii tried to give his logic.
“That might be true, but... Can you let me talk to him? If things go wrong, you can try your approach again,” I appealed.
“...Fine, be careful.”
With Alt-nii giving me an opportunity to approach Clavis according to my idea, I stepped forward.
Clavis growled at me, but I still showed my smile—although it was a bit forced—and walked without any hesitation.
“Grrrr!!” Clavis seemed about to spring up at me, trying to intimidate me. But I only stopped for a bit before I continued walking.
Yes, Clavis never meant any harm. The bells Mom gave us didn’t ring.
But as his and Alt-nii’s fight turned fiercer, the more harmful it might get. As I could feel my bell shaking for a bit.
Since I felt that the situation might turn muddier if it was left like that, I interfered.
“Clavis... You are... afraid, aren’t you?” I asked as I approached him.
Suddenly, he stopped growling and only stared at me. He bared his fangs exposed, though.
It seemed that I was on point.
“You are afraid... that you’d get shunned, won’t you?”
“...”
“You are afraid to be... rejected by your parents, right? That’s why, you don’t want to go home? Even if you know your parents are worried sick of you?”
“...”
I felt like Clavis shrunk as he retreated—at the same pace as I approached him.
“Are you afraid that even your parents will be scared of you and will change their treatment to you?”
“...”
“Sure, it’s frightening. And yes, in my eyes, you are... scary. This is the ‘you’ that I never know. Of course, it’s scary...,” I decided not to hide the fact that I was initially scared by his beast form.
I mean, even dumb people could tell if someone was afraid or not. It would be a very blatant lie. It would be not convincing at all if I were to say, “
“Grrr...,” Clavis growled lowly, as if he was sad.
“But that’s why,” I said as I suddenly grabbed his nose—in a gently way.
“...!!” Clavis seemed to be startled by the sudden warmth of my hand that he felt.
Yes, the tip of his nose... was so cold. He had been out here for too long.
“Lyra--!!” Alt-nii was also surprised by my sudden action.
“That’s why, I want to know more about you. About you, who have become a werebeast. And I’m sure your parents will think this way, too, Clavis,” I calmly said.
“Yes, they might be scared of you. Aren’t you scared of yourself, too? That’s why you ran away, right? Because you were afraid you’d hurt anyone else?”
“But... you know? I don’t think Niina will reject you. You’re her dearest son... If... If the worst really comes to reality, then... I will be here for you,” I tried my best to reassure him.
After all, I couldn’t be so sure of Niina’s reaction, and her husband’s reaction.
Because I don’t get the werebeast thingy—it should be beastmen race’s thingy.
“Let’s think of a way together... Okay?” I asked with a smile.
“...And I will be here too, Clavis, so don’t be afraid. You silly little friend, why would you be afraid like this?” Alt-nii gave a pep talk as well.
“We promised, remember? That we will always be friends,” Alt-nii then walked to my side, gently caressing Clavis’ snout.
I looked at Alt-nii and it felt as if we had a tacit understanding.
We nodded before turning our gazes towards Clavis and...
“Let’s go home, Clavis.”
We said in unison. With smiles on our faces.
What seemed to be tears fell from the corner of his beastly eyes.
Then, he gradually transformed back—to his beastman self.
“Here you go, dress up first,” Alt-nii quickly threw Clavis’ clothes at him.
At the same time, I was flustered with this sudden transformation that I quickly averted my eyes.
--After Clavis dressed up, during the journey back home--
“...Thank you...,” Clavis said with a hoarse voice.
“That’s what friends are for, there’s no need to thank me,” Alt-nii quickly answered.
“But,” he suddenly added, “I guess you really should thank Lyra.”
“...That’s what I’m doing, idiot,” Clavis answered.
“Now that’s the Clavis I know,” Alt-nii laughed as he jokingly shoved Clavis’ shoulders.
Clavis also jokingly shoved Alt-nii’s shoulders, but how should I put it?
The power was weak.
I guess Clavis was really tired.
At the end of the forest, Clavis stopped.
“Hmm?” Alt-nii noticed this and turned to look at him.
“What’s the matter?” He asked.
“I... I’m not sure...,” Clavis’ voice trembled.
Alt-nii sighed for a little bit before said.
“Stuuupid. What will your worry bring you? You’re putting yourself through a scenario that might never happen. And if it does happen, then you’re putting yourself through the same agony twice.”
“But...”
I sighed at Alt-nii’s sudden mini lecture.
“Clavis, don’t be afraid. We’re here for you. If you can’t explain, then we will try explaining it in your place,” I reassured him.
However, Clavis still didn’t bulge.
I approached Clavis and then pulled his hand.
“E-eh?!” Clavis yelped in his surprise.
“Oh? Nice idea, Lyra,” Alt-nii then pulled Clavis’ other hand.
“E-eeeeh?!” Clavis was dragged by us just like that.
Yeah, there was not enough energy left in his body to resist us. Guess all this escape and transformation and fight... everything exhausted him.
“Come on, Clavis!” Alt-nii said.
“Let’s go home, shall we?” I asked.
Clavis only looked at us absentmindedly as he was being dragged without any slightest bit of resistance.
Then, as if our words just entered his mind, his expression gradually turned soft, his eyes were narrowed—with the remaining tears falling from them, and the corner of his lips were curved up.
“Un!” Clavis finally said. As he smiled like that, I noticed that his fangs—ah, his canines were quite prominent.
I never really noticed it.
But that... actually made this expression of his became even more attractive. His smiling face emitted a huge relief.
And thus, the mystery of the missing key—I mean, the mystery of the missing Clavis—was solved.
As for the matter about a werebeast and such...
Let’s save it for later.
For now, shall we go home together?
To a place full of warmth, to a place where we belong.