I Didn’t Even Want to Live, But God Forced Me to Reincarnate!

Happy New Year 2020! Wishing everyone to have a nice new year ^^
As this is the 100th chapter, here's something to celebrate it :3
Spoiler
Reinst and Lyra, made by me using picrew~
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"CLAVISSSSS! HWAAAAA! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"
Upon arriving home, Mom and Niina were thankfully already there.
And yes, immediately after Clavis entered the house, Niina already sprung up to him, crying as she hugged her son.
I felt like she trembled while hugging Clavis so tightly, as if she was afraid she'd lose him again if she let go of him...
Clavis only smiled wryly, tears were brimming from the corner of his eyes.
“Dad? Where are the twins?” I asked after I couldn’t see the twins’ figures even after looking to the left and to the right.
“They’re already asleep. Although they insisted on waiting for you guys to come back,” Dad smiled.
"Lyra? Alt?" Mom called out to me and Alt-nii.
"Thank you for your hard work. Come here, let me check if you have some wounds or not. Clavis, too," Mom said, gesturing us to come to her.
"We're fine, Mom, really," Alt-nii reassured her.
"There, you have some superficial wounds. Let's heal them."
"It's nothing, really. Mom is tired too, right? I can fix the wounds myself, I'm not a child anymore," Alt-nii resisted.
"Come on, now, you will always be my child no matter how much time has passed."
"Altaire, it's fine, just let your mother do it," Dad smiled and urged Alt-nii to just receive Mom's care.
"...fine," Alt-nii blushed a little bit.
"Now, now, what's there to be embarrassed about?" Mom laughed looking at the unusual bashful Alt-nii.
Meanwhile, Clavis and Niina were sitting near the fireplace, drinking some hot chocolate to calm themselves after crying.
Mom glanced at them and understood that she should give them some time first. So, she turned to me and said, "Alt is done. Now it's your turn, Lyra."
Honestly, I didn't think I had some kind of wounds at all, but... Learning from Alt-nii's experience just now, I obediently approached Mom and nodded.
"There, good girl, Lyra," Mom said as she examined my body thoroughly.
"You're only fatigued and your body's cold, even if you don't really feel any cold due to your affinity to Ice magic."
"Mmhm, thanks, Mom!"
Mom then looked at Niina and Clavis. She heaved a sigh before deciding to approach Clavis.
Much to our surprise, Clavis retreated a bit, as if he was scared.
Mom looked stunned for a moment, but she quickly regained her composure and smiled.
"Everything will be fine, Clavis," Mom tried to reassure him.
"I... I have something to tell everyone... Especially Mom and Dad," Clavis' voice trembled.
Niina had already calmed down her sobs, so she quickly answered, "Your father should be here soon. As much as I want to hear your reason already... Let’s wait for him to be here. Let’s have Cassie-sama examine you...”
“I...,” Clavis looked at Mom, doubt was obvious in his eyes.
Mom smiled wryly and tried to reassure him, “I will only be healing your wounds. I promise I won’t say anything other than that.”
Albeit a bit reluctant, Clavis finally let go of his mother’s embrace and walked in front of Mom.
Mom chanted a magic spell to examine Clavis and to heal his wounds. In the middle of the process, Mom opened her eyes in surprise, only to meet Clavis’ scared eyes. Clavis was scared that Mom would say something about her discovery.
Mom understood right away from Clavis’ gaze, so she remained silent. Clavis heaved a sigh of relief.
Yes, Mom’s magic scanned Clavis’ body thoroughly, and under the assumption that being a werebeast changed something in Clavis’ body... Mom would definitely notice that.
In the meantime, I approached Niina and tugged her sleeves.
“Hmm? What is it, Lyra-sama?” Niina tried to smile, but traces of her tears and panic were still apparent.
I placed both of my hands closer to her ear and whispered, “Hey, Niina, why aren’t you scolding Clavis who ran away from home right after finding him?”
I made sure that Clavis won’t hear my question... or Clavis would be trembling in fear of me, who seemed to be rooting for him to get scolded...
Though a beastman’s five senses should be sharper—a werebeast even more so—I just hoped Clavis was too focused on Mom that he didn’t notice me. When I saw that he didn’t seem to react much to my question, I felt relieved.
Niina was stunned at my question, but she smiled and explained.
“Well, when I first realized he ran away from home, I so wanted to find him and scold him for doing such a thing. But the next moment, panic and [what if]s started to flood my mind, especially when we couldn’t find him for a while. Soon, the thought of scolding him disappeared, and I was overcome with guilt. I thought that it was my fault that he... did what he did.”
“...Niina, you know, that is definitely not the case.”
“You think so, Lyra-sama? You didn’t think I was a failure of a mother...?” Niina bitterly smiled.
“No... Not at all, Niina. You’re a good mother.”
I wanted to say more than this in order to cheer her up, but I couldn’t think of any words. However, Niina’s smile seemed to be brighter than it was before. So... I’d like to think that my efforts to cheer her up succeeded.
***
“I apologize for this troublesome son of mine! Clavis, you should apologize as well!”
That was the first thing I heard from Clavis’ father.
Clavis’ father was rather a bulky beastman with grey eyes just like Clavis, and a hair with a darker shade of silver. He was quite tall and imposing, especially with his stern gaze. Yet, I could see a hint of worry deep inside.
Clavis’ father was holding Clavis’ head, instructing Clavis to bow down deeply in apology to us.
“It’s fine, Clavis must have a reason behind his action, too, right?” Dad smiled and gestured the pair of father and son to stop bowing their heads in apology.
“No, no matter what the reason is, he has inconvenienced the family we’ve been indebted to. This is also my fault, I’ve failed to teach my son well,” Clavis’ father insisted, still bowing his head.
“D-dear... Don’t be too harsh on Clavis...,” Niina tried to cool the situation.
“No, it’s true that we need to discipline him more,” Clavis’ father insisted.
“Rudolf...,” Niina pleaded.
“Now now, shall we sit down and listen to Clavis’ explanation first? After that, you can have a family discussion about disciplining him or anything...,” Mom decisively said with a bitter smile.
Well, Mom knew what was going on, after all.
After that, all of us were gathered in the living room.
As the people who knew what was going on, also the ones who discovered Clavis, Alt-nii and I (plus Rurune) were sitting next to Clavis.
“Alright, son, be a man and explain everything to us,” Clavis’ father—Rudolf—said.
“I...,” Clavis seemed scared.
“Clavis? If you’re unable to explain it well, then I’ll do the explanation for you,” Alt-nii tapped Clavis’ shoulders and offered.
I placed my hand on top of his trembling hand and said, “Everything will be alright, Clavis.”
I couldn’t do anything other than this.
Clavis turned to look at me and Alt-nii alternatively. After thinking for a while, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
When he opened his eyes next, I saw a look of determination.
“Mom, Dad, I have something I need to tell you...,” Clavis started to explain.
About how he noticed something was amiss when he started being unable to control his own emotions—like getting angry easily and such. At first, he also thought it was due to him going through puberty.
However, he then started to realize that parts of his body transformed into that of a wolf’s. It happened briefly, but he had a bad premonition...
He was still in denial at that time, fearing for the worst if he was really a werebeast.
But when the full moon shone on one night—the night when he escaped—he noticed a strange urge flowing through his body.
And Clavis became scared. Scared that he would be unable to control himself anymore.
Out of fear of hurting everyone and fear of getting shunned, Clavis immediately decided to escape before his body got turned into his werebeast form.
He said that his memories after turning into a werebeast were hazy—and when he regained parts of his consciousness, he was already near the lake, with me and Alt-nii standing on the opposite side of him.
“...”
Everyone was silent after listening to Clavis’ story. Niina seemed like she was still trying to grasp the whole explanation, while Rudolf was thinking with his eyes closed, making it difficult to read what was in his mind.
“...I know it’s difficult to believe, but that’s the truth. Lyra and Altaire can testify to that. Even I really want to think of it as nothing but a nightmare...,” Clavis clenched his fists with his head hung down.
“Clavis... is that so...?” Niina’s voice trembled, which made Clavis tremble as well.
Clavis was afraid Niina would be scared of himself.
Just as I looked at Niina with a face full of worry, I saw Mom who was sitting next to Niina, shaking her head at me.
I wasn’t sure why, but the anxiety quickly fade away from my mind after seeing Mom’s small gesture that I didn’t even understand what.
But in the next moment, my question was answered.
Niina quickly brought Clavis to her embrace.
“Stupid son! You don’t have to shoulder it all alone... What are you scared for? Are you scared we’d forsake you? There’s no way we’d do that... We’ll figure something out together instead... So, don’t you dare shoulder it all alone, Clavis!”
Niina cried as she hugged Clavis tightly. I wasn’t sure if it was due to Niina’s tight hug or what, but Clavis also started crying.
“...Your mother’s right. We won’t abandon you, son. We’ll stand together as family. What kind of parents will abandon their children if they don’t turn out to be like what their parents expect?” Rudolf approached the mother and son and embraced them.
I was stunned at Rudolf’s words.
For some reason, his words resonated so deeply in my mind.
Perhaps it was because I tried so hard to answer people’s expectations of me—especially when I was Reinst—my family’s expectations of me.
And deep down, I also feared I’d be abandoned if I turned out so different from what my parents had expected.
Also, that was why I tried to play the good child when I first was reincarnated as Lyra...
“Rudolf is right. We, parents, know that children have a will of their own. Though we are the ones who gave them life in this world, their life is theirs. That’s why, I’m against deciding anything for my children—at least I need to know their opinions,” Dad suddenly added.
I turned to look at him in my surprise.
Dad noticed my gaze and smiled at me.
I smiled back at him.
“But... But, Mom, Dad... What if the others won’t accept our family because I’m a... werewolf?” Clavis asked with a shaking voice.
“We will go somewhere else, then. A place that can accept werebeasts. I’m sure there is one,” Rudolf reassured Clavis.
“But I...”
“Your father’s right. I wouldn’t want to forsake you just because of this, Clavis. Now, now, let your mother and father think of something. You just focus on resting, okay?” Niina patted Clavis’ head in her embrace.
“Mom... Dad... Uwaaaa...!!” Clavis then lost it and cried.
At that time, I was relieved that the twins were already asleep. At least, when Clavis snapped out of this emotional period and when embarrassment took over himself, he would be saved from having an embarrassment that the twins saw this side of him.
Besides, the twins were too young to understand the thing about werebeasts and the stigma about them.
I’m sure Clavis wouldn’t want to have the twins be afraid of him, too.
***
The missing Clavis incident was solved just like that.
That night, the small family of three left our home as the weather was already better.
The next day, we explained the matter in a very simple way to the wondering twins.
What happened to Clavis after that?
We heard that both Niina and Rudolf were diligently looking for any information about werebeasts—the real information, not just the myths or rumors.
Clavis was resting well in their house. We were told that Clavis shouldn’t get too agitated or feeling any emotional outburst too strongly, as that could trigger him to transform into his werebeast form.
Obviously, he wasn’t able to control it yet, and they were looking for a way so that he could at least control himself and his new power as a werebeast.
From the looks of it, Niina and Rudolf had already seen their son’s transformation and werebeast form.
And finally, a good news could be heard.
Niina and Rudolf found someone who wasn’t that scared or too biased against werebeasts.
When they asked that person why, that person simply explained that they had a relative who possessed a werebeast quality, and that relative underwent a training.
Apparently, there was a special village full of werebeasts and their relatives. The access to that special village was restricted for the werebeasts’ safety, but that was where werebeasts gathered and trained to be able to control their werebeast power.
After Niina and Rudolf explained their condition and brought Clavis to meet the higher-ups of the village, the higher-ups agreed to grant them access to the village and to take Clavis under their wings.
The first period of training was quite harsh and took quite a time to pass, so Clavis had to take a few days off school.
It was quite a while since I hadn’t seen Clavis and I was starting to get worried.
After all, the last figure of Clavis I saw was a bit worrying.
But it turned out that I actually didn’t have to be worried of him.
One day, I was getting ready for school as always.
I put on my set of winter uniform.
For my winter uniform, I have an inner white shirt that will keep me warm, covered by the outer red tuxedo-like jacket with long sleeves. The golden buttons had the Harmonia Academy’s insignia carved in them. The collar and the hem of the jacket’s sleeves were of dark blue color. Meanwhile, the skirt was warm and was made of two layers: the inner layer was red, and the outer layer was blue. The outer layer didn’t cover all of the inner layer, so it looked so stylish. Then, add a red-and-blue butterfly necktie.
As a comparison, the male counterpart of this uniform was also stylish. The inner shirt had a striped white and blue pattern. As the outer layer of the clothes, there was a red vest with a long tail. There were some golden stripes and golden buttons with Harmonia Academy’s insignia carved in it. The color of the long pants was blue. They were also wearing red-and-blue necktie.
To keep my neck warm, I tied my hair in low twintail style. My hair was also getting longer, but I didn’t intend to cut it at all.
When everything was ready, I walked down in order to go to school with Alt-nii and the twins.
Upon coming to the living room...
“It’s been awhile, Lyra.”
I halted my steps and looked at the person who just greeted me.
Silver hair, grey eyes, silver ears and tail. He was wearing the Advanced level’s uniform: long black pants, monochrome inner shirt, and golden coat with black color on its sleeves, pocket, and collar. He was fixing his black necktie.
“I can control my werebeast urges better now, even though I haven’t mastered all its power yet,” the silver wolf beastman said with a smile on his face.
The figure of him being so scared was no more. The figure standing in front of me was a confident man who seemed to have gone through severe training while I had no idea of it all.
He didn’t seem to be agonized that he received the “curse” of werebeast.
“Being with the other werebeasts and receiving Master’s guidance has opened my eyes that this new power I acquired could actually become a blessing. And I’ve promised to use this power for the greater good—to protect those I care for,” he continued to talk as he approached me.
I was still dazed at Clavis’ transformation—Not his transformation as werebeast, but his
transformation that was apparent right now.
Clavis’ figure now was dazzling. I realized for the first time that I could no longer view him as someone younger than me (mentally).
Just like how Alt-nii can finally chase after me, Clavis is finally catching up, too.
Finally, Clavis stopped in front of me and gently smiled.
“You rescued me from my anguish over what I thought to be the [curse] of a [werebeast]. That’s why I can stand here right now, as I am. Therefore... it’s my turn to protect you next.”
My mind couldn’t really process his words, but I smiled back at him anyway.
“Welcome back, Clavis!”
Altaire: “Clavis, remember, you’ve got a lot to catch up at school.”
Clavis: “Urgh, must you remind me now?”
Altaire: *chuckles*
Cyan: “Is Clavis hitting on my daughter now?!”
Cassie: “No, let’s just think of it as his way of saying [I owed you one, so I should repay back your kindness]...?”
Cyan: “That doesn’t seem to be the case in my eyes!”
Cassie: “...”
Altaire: “Hmm? Clavis and Lyra? Oh well, I’ll just see how things turn out.”
Lyra: “What are you guys talking about? I didn’t hear clearly.”
Altaire: “Nothing!”
Freyr, who heard everything silently: “...But Clavis has never hit Lyra-neechan...?”
Lyra: “...Huh??? What were you talking about?”
Freyja: “Listen, Nee-chan, Dad was wondering if—hmmmppphf (translation: DAD!!)!”
Cyan: “It’s nothing, Lyra.”
Lyra: “??? Did you guys hide something from mee?”
Cassie: “Nah, it’s nothing, really.”
Lyra: “...” *stares at Alt-nii*
Altaire: “Nope, nothing!”
Lyra: “Fine, so that’s how you want to play it!”
In a distant, a spectre of light turned into a figure of a mischievous child and laughed at the family’s topic that time.
“Now now, what is really in Clavis’ mind when he said all that to Lyra? Only time can tell.”