I Didn’t Even Want to Live, But God Forced Me to Reincarnate!

Author: LynneSuzuran

Chapter 165.5 – Brother And Sister ~Sister’s Side~

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Seeing the painful recollection that Clyde’s dream showed me and feeling his sadness in his heart, I almost couldn’t hold back my tears.
Foolish, foolish me! Reinst, how were you so dense that you didn’t try to appreciate what you actually had more?
Although I knew. It was my experiences as Lyra that made me realize those things. Had I continued to live as Reinst as it was, I might never realize that, too.
Unlike Nicole who was more accepting of the truth, Clyde’s lingering feelings of regrets were stronger. I had to severe that at the same time I give him a closure.
That was why, I orchestrated this illusion.
By the time we had our very last sparring…
“Clyde, you’re not focused,” I said as I noticed his mind traveling. He didn’t even notice me having a fighting style that was now different than how Reinst normally would do… which was actually a good thing, really.
If he were to realize that, he might think I was an impostor or worse, if he remembered how I—as Lyra—fought with my sword and saw the similarities, he might even connect those dots and I’d be darned!
I was so sure I could 100% mimic my old style, only to fail horribly, but thankfully, Clyde didn’t pay any attention, haha…
“Reinst, you know, I had this very long and realistic dream and…”
“Cut to the chase,” I quickly said.
“…Why did you come looking for me today? It’s never happened before, it’s weird and I…”
“Is that really what you want to tell me?” I asked.
“Reinst… I—I’m sorry,” he said with a weak voice.
“What for?!” I asked.
“For being a bad brother to you.”
“How so?”
“I… All this time, I never did anything for you.”
But again, I only realized all this once it was too late…
Therefore, when we continued our conversation in the garden, I said what I had in my mind, “Clyde, you’re wrong about never doing anything for me……”
“…… I hadn’t paid any attention to the others around me. To Nicole, and to you…,” I said as I turned to look at where Fenrir was.
…
“Can I… Can we be brother and sister?” Clyde then asked nervously.
I was obviously surprised.
“What are you talking about, Clyde? Aren’t we already brother and sister?” I asked as I blinked several times. But then, I smiled wryly as I looked at him.
Instead of blaming me for never reciprocating him, he blamed himself and even had to ask me if I
consider us as siblings.
“I’m so sorry, Clyde. For not doing this sooner…,” I said as I felt pain in my heart.
“It’s alright, Reinst! It’s never too late! From now on, we can start over…,” His words pained my heart even more.
“—It
too late. Clyde, you know it yourself, right?”
It was time to severe every question of ‘what ifs’ that Clyde had always have in mind.
“I’m never going to return back to life again. We won’t be able to start acting like a brother and sister…,” I tried to convince him of this… saddening truth.
“Clyde. It pains me to see you like this,” I said as I hugged Clyde for the first time ever.
I let him go after a while as I had to see his eyes when I ask him this: “Please let me go, will you?”
Clyde closed his eyes, it was clear that he was really conflicted with what I asked from him.
I could feel the light behind me getting stronger—indicating that my time was almost out.
Finally, Clyde opened his eyes—now determined—as he said, “Alright Reinst, I promise.”
I was so happy when I heard those words.
But then, he added, “But can you tell me truthfully… How do you feel about me as your big brother? Have you seen me as one, or I’m just your rival, enemy, or stranger?”
However, the explanation was too long and I couldn’t tell some part of it truthfully to him.
Every single experience that shaped me as Reinst and then as Lyra flashed quickly in my mind as I tried to find something that could sum everything up and that could convey my feelings towards my half-brother.
Eventually, one idea came to my mind.
While thinking of the love and care he felt towards me as Reinst, I tried to plaster a smile on my face as I said, “Silly Brother! I won’t forgive you if you don’t do as I say, okay? I will beat you up in the afterlife if you don’t do so!”
Those words and gesture were my best take in conveying my feelings as Reinst.
As I took a last look at Clyde who was standing still in surprise with a little hint of happiness in it, I quickly turned around and ran to the blinding light—because it was time for me to go.
Before I left his dream world, a scene of the past flashed before my eyes as I looked at it very fondly.
It was a memory from when Clyde and I were really young, a memory that had been long forgotten by us.
We were very, very young when we sneaked out to play with each other in our residence.
We were reading a story book together in the garden.
I closed my eyes and smiled. Such a warm memory, it was a pity that neither of us remembered it now…
Little Reinst’s childish protest caused my smile to turn stiff.
Such a dumb me, I’d rather forget…
Nah, just kidding.
Such a warm memory, I will surely treasure it.
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Chapter List

Prologue
Chapter 1 – The Grabberton Family
Chapter 2 – Fate
Chapter 3 – Reincarnate or Disappear!
Chapter 4 – Re:birth
Chapter 5 – Hello, Mother
Chapter 5.5 – Hello, Daughter
Chapter 6 – A New Home
Chapter 7 – The Whole Family, Complete Members
Chapter 8 – The Hartmann Family and Details about My New Home
Chapter 9 – Hartmann’s Special Arts
Chapter 10 – Third Birthday
Chapter 11 – Magic Elements
Chapter 12 – The Training
Chapter 12.5 – My Daughter’s First Training
Chapter 13 – Alt-nii’s Enrollment to School
Chapter 14 – Altaire’s Sixth Birthday (1)
Chapter 15 – Altaire’s Sixth Birthday (2)
Chapter 16 – Altaire is An Irregularity
Chapter 17 – Going to the Capicastle
Chapter 18 – My Magic
Chapter 19 – Denial
Chapter 20 – The Royal Family
Chapter 20.5 – The Adults’ Side
Chapter 21 – Lucius the Prince
Chapter 22 – Showdown with the Prince
Chapter 23 – My Education
Chapter 24 – The Mysterious Lyra
Chapter 25 – Fenix and My Magic Training
Chapter 26 – The Messy Independent Training
Chapter 27 – A Gift from God
Chapter 28 – Winter Holiday
Chapter 29 – The Plan
Chapter 30 – Journey to Chinosato City
Chapter 31 – Chinosato City
Chapter 32 – Trouble, Troubles Everywhere
Chapter 33 – Crisis During Vacation
Chapter 34 – [ ]
Chapter 35 – Mad Lunatic
Chapter 36 – Cleaning Up After The Crisis
Extra 1 – Reinst’s Coming-of-Age Ceremony
Chapter 37 – Celebrating Fifth Birthday
Chapter 38 – Luca’s Sixth Birthday
Chapter 38.5 – The Things That She Didn’t Know
Chapter 39 – My Sixth Birthday, and…
Chapter 40 – Nicole
Chapter 41 – “Mother” and “Little Brother”
Chapter 42 – Grabberton vs Fumitsuna
Chapter 43 – Second Magic Test
Chapter 44 – Preparing for Entrance Exams
Chapter 44.5 – Cyan’s “Blessing”
Chapter 45 – Entrance Exams and…
Chapter 46 – General Knowledge Test and Displaying My Swordsmanship
Chapter 47 – Last One in the Menu: Magic Exam!
Chapter 48 – Enrollment to Harmonia Academy
[April Fools Edition] Chapter 49
Chapter 49 – First Day of School!
Chapter 50 – Senior
Chapter 51 – An Unexpected Storm
Chapter 52 – The Rumored Girl
Chapter 53 – Siblings Team Battle, Against A Dragon!
Chapter 54 – More Surprising Things!
Chapter 55 – School Day 2 and Iris
Chapter 56 – School Day 3 is Very Chaotic!
Chapter 57 – A Day of Sword and Magic
Chapter 58 – Day 3’s Night and Day 4’s Activities
Chapter 59 – Day 5, Another Interesting Day
Chapter 60 – Passing Days
Chapter 61 – Sleepover Time~!
Chapter 62 – Icarus
Chapter 63 – Firis
Chapter 64 – Cyan
Chapter 64.5 – The Day We Met ~Titus’ Side~
Chapter 65 – Story of the Past
Chapter 66 – Magic Test at School
Chapter 67 – Turning Seven
Chapter 68 – Eggie’s Fate
Chapter 69 – Peaceful Days… No?
Chapter 70 – Overture
Chapter 71 – An Invitation
Chapter 72 – My [Nephew]’s Sixth Birthday
Chapter 73 – Turning Eight
Chapter 74 – Still My Eighth Birthday Party
Chapter 75 – Miss You, Big Sis!
Chapter 76 – Playing Tag
Chapter 77 – The Treasury: Revisited
Chapter 78 – Interlude
Chapter 79 – Here Comes… Ein!
Chapter 80 – Lyra vs Altaire –and Co.
Chapter 81 – Surprise and Surprise!
Chapter 82 – On A Certain Winter
Chapter 83 – An Addition to the Family
Chapter 84 – Freyr and Freyja
Chapter 85 – Bonding with the Twins~!
Chapter 86 – The Twins’ Confusion
Chapter 87 – Day 5 Month 5: 5th Birthday
Chapter 88 – The Maozi Jewel
Chapter 89 – Introduction
Chapter 90 – Seal
Chapter 91 – Debut Party
Chapter 92 – Rivals
Chapter 93 – Presents
Chapter 94 – The Magical Twins
Chapter 95 – The Princess’ Debut Party
Chapter 96 – The Hartmann Family’s Big Events
Chapter 97 – On A Certain Snowy Day
Chapter 98 – Missing
Chapter 99 – Let’s Go Home
Chapter 100 – Werebeasts
Chapter 101 – Collaboration
Chapter 102 – New Power
Chapter 103 – Confession
Chapter 104 – The Trio Troublemakers
Chapter 105 – Is He Serious?
Chapter 106 – Prepare For Trouble
Chapter 107 – Against Dmitria and Valerie
Chapter 108 – This is What I Call “Victory”
Chapter 109 – The Miracle Twins
Chapter 110 – Getting Along with the Trio Troublemakers
Chapter 111 – Erneste
Chapter 112 – Harmonia Academy’s Quinquennial Event
April Fools – Disastrous Festival
Chapter 113 – One Night, Different Experiences
Chapter 114 – Will You Come?
Chapter 115 – [Little Brother]’S 22nd Birthday
Chapter 116 – Harmonia Academy’s Quinquennial Festival: Day 1
Chapter 117 – Hansel And Gretel: Festival Edition
Chapter 118 – Prophecy
[Special] World Explanation
Chapter 119 – Day 3: Siblings Battle
Chapter 120 – Insecurities
Chapter 121 – Unpleasant Feelings
Chapter 122 – In Danger
Chapter 123 – [You] and [Me]
Chapter 124 – Finally Awake
Chapter 125 – Home Visit
Chapter 126 – Reconcile
Chapter 127 – Not Alone
Chapter 128 – Sharing Burdens
Chapter 129 – Training Begins
Chapter 130 – Untangle One Knot
Chapter 131 – Forgetting Something Important
Chapter 132 – Dark Magic Training
Chapter 133 – Turning 11!
Chapter 134 – Can Invite?
Discussion
Chapter 135 – Let’s Go and Fetch!
Chapter 136 – Briar-Rose
Chapter 137 – Ranch Life, Fun Life~
Chapter 138 – Bad Luck…?
Chapter 139 – Encounter: [ ]
Chapter 140 – Awake
Chapter 141 – Clyde and Nicole
Chapter 142 – Grabbing A Sword Again
Chapter 143 – Meteor Shower
Chapter 144 – Siblings
Chapter 145 – Fourteenth Birthday Celebration
Chapter 146 – Shaula and Titus
Chapter 147 – The Future
Chapter 148 – Differences
Chapter 149 – The Hartmann Family
Chapter 150 – How Everyone’s Doing
Chapter 151 – Loera
Chapter 152 – Please Don’t Think I’m Mental Or What
Chapter 153 – Preparation to Go Back
Chapter 154 – To Silent Forest
Chapter 155 – Overcoming A Trial
Chapter 156 – I Have A Familiar!
Chapter 157 – Confiding About Past Life
Chapter 158 – Where Do Familiars Stay?
Chapter 159 – First Step To The Plan!
Chapter 160 – Staying In The Loera Residence
Chapter 161 – Best Friend
Chapter 162 – Nicole And Reinst
Chapter 163 – Second Person
Chapter 164 – My One and Only…
Chapter 165 – Brother and Sister
Chapter 165.5 – Brother And Sister ~Sister’s Side~
Chapter 166 – Proof
Chapter 167 – Do You Believe In Ghosts?
Chapter 168 – A Chance
Chapter 169 – Attachment
Chapter 170 – I Am The Older Sister
Chapter 171 – Our Own Path
Chapter 172 – Mother or Father?
Chapter 173 – Father
Chapter 174 – Dad
Chapter 175 – The Center of My World
Chapter 176 – Family
Chapter 177 – Unanswered Questions
Chapter 178 – Older Brother
Chapter 179 – Wedding Ceremony
Chapter 180 – Should I be Worried?
Chapter 181 – After That…
Chapter 182 – Visiting the Grave
Chapter 183 – It is Fate, Isn’t It?
Chapter 184 – Returning Home
Chapter 185 – Her Smile
Chapter 186 – Just Lyra
Chapter 187 – Alt-nii’s Request
Chapter 188 – You See…
Chapter 188.5 – Parents
Chapter 189 – Coming-of-Age Ceremony
Chapter 190 – Friendships
Chapter 191 – Constant
Chapter 192 – Rupert’s Big Day?!
Chapter 193 – Growing Conflict
Chapter 194 – Our Meeting?
Chapter 195 – Becoming A Third Wheel
Chapter 196 – Celeste’s Request
Chapter 197 – Lies
Chapter 198 – Father Daughter Reunion
Chapter 199 – Oriel
Chapter 200 – Naraka’s War God
Chapter 201 – Battle in the Strange Place
Chapter 202 – Working Together
Chapter 203 – Stranded in the Unknown
Chapter 204 – Their Alliance
Chapter 205 – Adjusting
Chapter 206 – Everyone’s Hope
Chapter 207 – Baby
Chapter 208 – Sen
Chapter 209 – Have We Returned?
Chapter 210 – Current Situation
Chapter 211 – Changes in Cielle Kingdom
Chapter 212 – Why Things Are Turning to the Present
Chapter 213 – Delegation to Cielle
Chapter 214 – Cielle Kingdom’s Crown Princess
Chapter 215 – Hello, My Old Friend
Chapter 216 – Lyra’s Internal Struggle
Chapter 217 – Infiltration Plan
Chapter 218 – Preparing for the Infiltration Mission
[Announcement] Light Novel Publication!
Chapter 219 – Mission: Start
Chapter 220 – Infiltrating Cielle Kingdom’s Capital City
Chapter 221 – Infiltrating the Royal Castle of Cielle
Chapter 222 – Aiming to be the Top Maids?!
Chapter 223 – The Tower of Exile
Chapter 224 – The Person Being Held Captive…
Chapter 225 – Gullible or…?
Chapter 226 – Eneida
Chapter 227 – The Opportunist
Chapter 228 – Embarking towards Vittae Village
Chapter 229 – Trust
Chapter 230 – Aquafly
Chapter 231 – The Portal
Chapter 232 – The Vittae Village
Chapter 233 – All Alone in This World
Chapter 234 – A Monster
Chapter 235 – Investigating the Vittae Temple
Chapter 236 – The Temple’s Hidden Area
Chapter 237 – Our Way Out… Or Not?
Chapter 238 – Boss Battle?!
Chapter 239 – Escapade
Chapter 240 – Saving the Day After Ruining It
Chapter 241 – When Disguised People Meet One Another…
Chapter 242 – Dilemma
Chapter 243 – Coincidences
Chapter 244 – The Elven Divine Doctor
Chapter 245 – The Truth
Chapter 246 – One Unwavering Truth
Chapter 247 – To the Dragon’s Continent!
Chapter 248 – Pyrpgrnt Kingdom
Chapter 249 – The Dragon Race
Chapter 250 – The Confusion of the Prince’s Aide
Chapter 251 – Eneida’s Power
Chapter 252 – In the Cradle of Her Mind
Chapter 253 – The Life of A Saintess
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