Mage Tank

We splished, we splashed, and soon enough the world's obligations swam back around. We had critical information to pass on about Brae’ach and the avatars, an upcoming meeting with one of the world’s superpowers, and urgent appointments to make with our barbers and cosmetologists.
However, first and foremost were a pair of family reunions. Delvers were generally presumed dead if they did not return from a Delve after a week or two, and it wouldn’t surprise any of us if we’d been declared legally deceased. The System announcement listing our names would have been akin to a resurrection for the Xor’Drels and the Ravvenblaqs, who were certainly eager to have their wayward children return to them.
In preparation of being separated for a few days, we needed to get our plans straightened out. Thus, I produced an ornate sheet of vellum, its borders intricately decorated with tiny flying octopuses, the material mana-woven to be waterproof, fireproof, tear-proof, UV resistant, and impact absorbent–the thing could probably take a 50 caliber bullet without a mark–and dyed a slight shade of rosé, with looping calligraphy in ocean blue ink that could be cleared away without a trace or moved around the page with a touch of mana.
It was The List.
Also, we were all still in the hot spring. What better place for a team meeting? Etja was even giving us a light serenade while she plucked at a stringed instrument with shimmering overtones (heretofore referred to as a “lute”, because it was close enough).
“At the top of The List, we have ‘Brae’ach Shit’,” I declared in my most haughty voice, rolling my Rs for effect.
“I will give what we know to my family,” said Varrin, his mighty arms spread wide around the edge of his near-boiling hot tub. “They will disseminate the information to Central and the other houses.”
“I’ll tell Mom and Dad,” said Xim. “They might want to get involved. If life on the First Layer is eradicated, it will impact the Third, no matter how separated we are.”
Nuralie popped up from under the water.
“And we can inform the Littans at our meeting,” I added. “The Hiwardians will hopefully spread the news to Timagrin, Mittak, and Ayama.”
“I will make sure it happens,” said Varrin. “Our account will be subject to scrutiny, but I believe our accomplishments will bolster the believability of our claims.”
I nodded, satisfied with the plan.
“The second item on The List is ‘Meetings and shit with the Littans’,” I proclaimed, focusing on my diction when hitting the Ts in Littans.
“I will have a dossier created,” said Varrin. “Names, titles, personal biographies, temperaments, protocol, decorum. I suggest we all return ahead of the meeting to study it together.”
“Ugh,” said Xim. “What if I just agree not to speak?”
“You’re the scion of a major Third Layer tribe,” said Varrin. “I
you have diplomatic training.”
“Yes, but I don’t like it.”
“Etja should do the talking,” I suggested.
“Me?” Etja asked, pausing her performance. “Why me?”
“Perfect recall,” I answered. “And you have the highest Charisma.”
“You are also not affiliated with any nation,” said Varrin. “Your words are more likely to be taken at face value.”
“Um, okay,” she said. She tapped her chin with one finger and continued plucking her lute with two of her other hands.
“The next item on The List is ‘Training and shit’,” I announced, really putting some stank on Shit.
“If you keep going like that, this’ll take all day,” said Xim.
“Just trying to make it fun.”
“We should look for Dungeons,” said Nuralie, appearing above the water again.
“Agreed,” said Varrin. “Intrinsics are our bottleneck to advancement, not levels. If Dungeons grant bonuses to leveling intrinsics, they should be a priority.”
“If the world isn’t falling apart, I’m happy to hunt for them however much we want,” I said.
“The world can wait,” said Varrin. “We are level 12s. No matter how strong we are for our level, we are still weak compared to the higher echelons of power.”
“We probably couldn’t beat up a full level 26 gold,” said Xim. “And there are plenty of those.”
“I bet we could as a team!” said Etja.
“Someone would die,” said Varrin. “But… possibly.”
“Okay, so we go into secluded Dungeon hunting,” I said. “After which we will reemerge as hidden masters, capable of smiting all who show us disrespect.”
“Sounds good,” said Xim. “Next!”
“Next on The List is ‘Backdoor soul stuff’.”
“Kinky,” Xim quipped.
“Please explain,” said Varrin.
“Right. When my Traveler’s Amulet got upgraded, it gave Grotto access to all of my intrinsic skills.”
“Yes, you mentioned that before,” said Varrin.
“I want an avatar gift,” Xim said with a longful sigh.
“My connection with Grotto is at the level of the soul,” I continued. “For Fortune to modify that connection, he has to have some access to my soul, or at least the bridge between mine and Grotto’s. My concern is that he might be implanting spiritual traps or subtly guiding me in a certain direction.”
“He is certainly guiding you,” said Varrin. “If you do not want him to, you should dispose of the amulet and the ring.”
“But I likes them,” I said. “They’re my precious.” I held my ruby-ringed hand to my chest and clutched the amulet. The only garments I had on were my jewelry.
“We’ll watch for weird behavior,” said Xim. “It’s what we’ve been doing so far. What else can we do?”
“Go on a quest of self-discovery?” I suggested.
“Okay, yeah, I support that,” said Xim.
“You can find yourself while we hunt Dungeons,” Nuralie gurgled.
“Multi-tasking self-actualization,” I said. “Sounds like something I’d do.”
[
] Grotto thought to us. He was currently sharing the pond with the frogs. I had no idea if he enjoyed it, or if he was just trying to participate in the aquatics.
“How confident are you that you’d find something that way?” I asked.
He lifted a feeler and curled it to wring the water from his downy feathers onto Bertegog’s head. The frog closed its eyes and enjoyed the shower.
[
]
“We have faith in you!” said Etja, speeding up the tempo of her lute playing.
“Moving on to the next item,” I said. “‘Can Grotto open Closet?”
[
]
“You can try to open the Checkpoints when everyone needs to leave,” I said. “And the portal when we go see the Littans.” I put a circle next to the item, letting me know to circle back to it. “Next is ‘W.T.F. the Dread Star?’”
“We should curate a list of questions,” said Varrin.
“I want to speak with Sam’lia before you abuse that power,” said Xim. “I can try out the communion tub!” She swam to the edge of the pool and climbed out, then went to the mushrooms to begin selecting her… ‘experience’. Varrin and I studiously avoided staring, but Nuralie did
, which I found interesting.
I marked the item with a ‘D’ for “pending divine guidance.”
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“Next one down is the ‘Wand of Soulfuckery’.”
“Sam’lia again!” Xim said in her outside voice. I marked down another ‘D’.
“Better hearing protection for Explosion!”
“I’ll make something,” said Nuralie.
“Easy enough,” I said, placing a check. “Figure out a use for Abbandium.”
“Arrows,” Nuralie answered immediately. “It lowers Spiritual defense and can take any shape. Flat, triangular, barbed, bladed, long, square, rhomboid.” Pause. “It can be whatever arrowhead I need and will weaken the target to Spiritual attacks such as Night Strike.”
“It raises Divine defense, though,” I said. “And it affects the wielder.”
“Xim can choose a different target,” Nuralie replied. “I will not be affected by the material much since I can keep the arrows in my inventory until I need them.”
“I thought you wanted to be hands-off with the mystery eldritch stuff.”
“It is not in my hands if it is in the enemy’s liver.”
“That’s… a very specific body part.”
She shrugged.
“We have a lot of buffs to Bleeding.”
“If no one has any objections, that works for me,” I said. “I don’t want to touch the stuff.”
Nobody else made any argument to claim some of the Abbandium since nobody wanted to have their Spiritual defenses lowered, leading to an even worse time with mental attacks.
“Next item: ‘Can Grotto have revelations through the System?’”
Everyone looked at Grotto, who now had a frog sitting on his octopoid head. He waved his tentacles noncommittally.
[
]
“Wanna come into the god pot with me?” asked Xim, gesturing at the sensory deprivation chamber.
[
]
“You’ll understand once you get some more experience,” Xim replied.
[
] He gently removed his amphibious hat and floated to join the cleric, leaving disappointed ribbits in his wake. [
]
I placed a circle and a ‘D’ next to that item.
“Next is ‘What’s up with Shog? Brood Lord? Brood King? Hidden Delver?’”
“Aw,” said Etja. “We should have asked while he was here.”
[
]
“When does King start?” I asked.
[
]
“How does that impact us?” asked Varrin.
[
]
“What’s after King?” I asked. “Emperor?”
Grotto thought for a moment, and we received a System notification.
“All of that… is terrifying,” I said.
“Is Grotto’s newfound freedom to disclose all his secrets on your list?” asked Xim.
“Adding it now.”
“We should curate a list of questions for that as well,” said Varrin. “I assume you are the reason we received that notification, Grotto.”
[
]
“Maybe an army of c’thons can help us with the avatars!” said Etja.
[
]
“Please?” said Xim. “Two in one year?”
“Just let it happen,” I said. “Calling attention to it may discourage him.”
“We can ask Shog about this when he returns,” said Varrin, climbing out of the extremely-hot tub and moving to the deathly-cold tub. I studiously avoided staring, but Nuralie did
, which I again found interesting.
I placed a circle next to the Shog question, noting that the page was getting messy. I needed a more aesthetic way to take notes.
“Next there’s a bunch of stuff about the Closet that Grotto and I can handle on our own,” I said. “Patio for grilling and chilling, more greenhouse plants–we could start growing alchemy ingredients–disappearing exits, shifting hallways, one-way mirrors and walls… Shit, I forgot to reset my inventory home point. ‘Priority. Don’t blow up Formation.’ I even wrote it in all caps.”
“Would the entire Closet
appear at your home point if you died?” asked Xim. “I mean, it’s huge. Where would you even find a space that big?”
“I could buy a few acres in the mountains,” I muttered, adding a big star beside it. There was a note about ideas for a corpse explosion trap, but I drew a line through it. “Next is ‘Accrue power! Dominate our enemies! Attain immortality so that we might live forever!’”
[
]
“Huh,” said Xim. “You haven’t been nearly as power-hungry lately, Grotto.”
[
]
“But you’re still advocating for world domination?” I asked. “How does that serve your function of helping Delvers ascend?”
[
]
“I usually consider the answer along with everyone else,” I said with a smile. “If the ‘obvious’ response is that seeking the strength to rule the world naturally results in the strength to ascend, then I still feel like you’re putting too much focus on it. There are other ways to get there.”
[
] Grotto’s feelers rose into the air. I prepared for a full flailing.
[
]
“Good to know,” I said. “Next item is ‘Items’.” I rolled up The List and pulled out The Other List. It was equally as cool and awesome. “We need to return the Longsword of the Bluewren and the Brooch of House Spyreling. Oh, Etja now has enough Luck for the Fortunate Ring we looted from Yaretzi.” I pulled out the ring and tossed it to the mage, who caught it even as she continued to pluck and strum.
“Neat!” she said, sliding it on.
“Any headway on the Abandoned Grimoire, Nuralie?”
“It burns knowledge into my mind,” she answered. Pause. “I am on the precipice of enlightenment.”
“Yes, very good.” I marked it with a ‘K’ for ‘Keep an eye on Nuralie’. “I’m holding on to the Spiked Mace of the Bloody Jubilee if no one opposes. The Bardiche of Blood Scour went to Shog. The rest of this is stuff to trade or sell, I think.” I read out the rest of the items, which can be found in Appendix A.
“I’ll take the Staff of Quiet Solitude,” said Xim. “And the Scutum of Blood Scour.”
“The staff buffs curses,” I said. “Your new passive is the only thing it applies to.”
“Curses are fun. I might build into them more.”
“The shield is a foot and a half taller than you.”
“Exactly!” She raised her hands above her head and did a stretch, her lean muscles rippling. I did
studiously avoid staring, and neither did anyone else. “The Clockwork Gear shield mainly grants Shielding, which I don’t need anymore since I’m constantly generating it with my new Fortitude evo. Plus, it applies Slowed when I use it, which is annoying.”
“Uh, okay.” I cleared my throat. “Anyone opposed?” Predictably, no one had a problem with it.
“I will take the rest of the items with me to Hiward,” said Varrin. Despite being in the ice tub, his cheeks were flushed. “I can have an expert auction or trade them. My family keeps several on retainer. Just give me a list of what gear everyone is looking for before I leave.”
“Nice,” I said. “We also have a bunch of random essences.” I scanned the list. “Are we doing anything with these Greater Mimicry Essences?”
Nuralie shot up so fast, water plumed 20 feet into the air.
The loson pulled out a mana-woven leather satchel and opened it to reveal a bundle of warded oilcloth. She unwrapped it to reveal the Abandoned Grimoire and began flipping through its pages. I frowned as a drop of the dark viscous goo that covered it dripped into the pool. Hopefully, the spring wasn’t about to become cursed.
“The Corvite Slab.” Pause. “I think I can clone it.”
Varrin sat forward and pulled out the item he’d earned from The Icon of the Psychopomp.
“Truly?” he asked.
Nuralie flipped a page back and forth, tail swishing through the water.
“It will use all of the essences.” She paused and started to look sick. I was worried the hot spring’s cleaning weaves were about to get tested. “It will also take a diamond chip.” She listed the expense as though it were a child sacrifice.
“Should we… buy more essences?” I asked.
“There
no more Greater Mimicry essences,” said Varrin. “As far as I am aware, The Mimic dropped the only 5 to exist. If anyone else has them, they are not for sale.”
“Sounds worth it to me,” I said. “You can get a fucking awesome piece of gear now, and another fucking awesome piece of gear at a higher level.”
“Grandfather will leap at the opportunity to work the material,” said Varrin.
“Papa Junior’s gonna make you that good shit.”