Applied Immortality

Su Junyu did not pursue Wang Qi for an answer to his question, only telling the four to get some much-needed rest.
As the witching hour approached, Wang Qi opened his eyes.
The bonfire was just embers by this point, and Wang Qi added a couple of branches before walking over to the lake.
He was careful not to make a sound and wake the others. The new moon was fast approaching, evident by its crescent shape turning so thin, plunging the night into darkness. It wasn’t easy staying clear of all the twigs, which was why Wang Qi focused his spiritual sense on his feet.
Around a hundred meters away, Zhen Chanzi spoke up, “Stop here. If you want to vent, this distance will do. It’s at the limit of Su Junyu’s spiritual sense. Going any further will wake him up.”
Wang Qi spoke, “You actually found me out?”
“I’ve taught you for years. You never saw me as a master, but I saw you as my disciple.”
Wang Qi found a relatively flat rock to sit on and said, “My heart is in slight disarray.”
The sparse trees around here gave a mostly clear view of one’s surroundings. Up ahead, Lake 41 was a mirror of the starry sky above, shimmering softly from the slight ripples. Wang Qi kept staring at it.
Wang Qi jeered, “I don’t think so.”
“Your heart has not settled once.”
“Really?”
Zhen Chanzi gave a bitter smile. “For certain, as those involved are often blind to the truth. Have you ever noticed your strange disposition as of late?”
“What do you mean?”
“I told you the moment we met that you have no interest in cultivation matters. Even if you step on this path, you would find fighting arts revolting. Adding to that the fact that you cherish your life, you’d never going to train even the slightly riskier arts. This I know well about you.”
Wang Qi looked at his hands, made a fist, and felt the spiritual power within. “Cultivation doesn’t really suit me.”
“Ha-ha, you finally opened your eyes, kid. To maintain your fighting strength, you’re cultivating a dozen mental arts. It is certain fallacy brought on by the hubris in your incredible talent, further exacerbated by the fact that ‘you’re allowed to make mistakes.’ Beyond any shadow of a doubt, however, you were reckless. This goes double for the last few days. You realized there was a way to combine the cultivation methods and rushed to try it. If it were the paranoid you, he’d be taking a few extra days to make sure it is valid.”
“Yeah.”
After a moment of silence, Zhen Chanzi said, “About what happened to the village and Li Ziye, you care more about them than you realize.”
Wang Qi raised his right hand, then slapped the rock beneath him hard, splashing broken stones around. “Those damn bastards, the death of Albion Village’s people had nothing to do with me, but I’ve lived in my home village for ten years. I didn’t know Li Ziye for long, but he saved my life.”
“Kid,” Zhen Chanzi sighed. “You’d be feeling much better if you cried, then shouted out, ‘I vow to erase the Imperial Celestial Rift Sect.'”
Wang Qi’s expression fluctuated, finally settling into a weak chuckle. “That’s not how I roll. I live for excitement.”
“That’s great,” Zhen Chanzi said, “but you aren’t having any great time.”
“It’s hard to bear the thought that you owe someone, especially when you don’t know how to repay it.”
“Is that why you’re now training hard in battle arts?”
“Anything that takes away my joy must die.”
Zhen Chanzi paused. “I believe you’ve never been truly happy. Better yet, you’ve only known what takes away your joy while never speaking of the thoughts that bring you excitement.”
Wang Qi lowered his head as Zhen Chanzi continued, “Yes, you’ve shown interest in some things in your everyday life, but from the way I see it, it doesn’t look like you’re too keen on doing them. It’s more like a habit? Or is it nostalgia?”
“Like?”
“You love playing with Su Junyu that, what, card game? You’re not like him, enjoying the game from the bottom of your heart. Then there’s your obsession with the demonborn lass’ ears when it’s clear you have no particular inclination towards demonborn.”
[Nostalgia? About the past life, maybe?]
Wang Qi gave a self-deprecating smile. He’d read a few transmigration novels on Earth. Some of the protagonists spoofed Earth’s products in the new world or obsessed over Earth-like things from their second life. It always amused him, but it never occurred to him how this interest never applied to him, being in a similar situation.
He was doing them on autopilot so that this way he would commemorate his life on Earth.
“You have no clear interest in anything, yet you’re all smiles, always. Just what got you so happy? The old guy’s last words?”
Wang Qi slapped the rock hard, snapping, “That’s my grandfather!”
The forceful action left a deep handprint on the rock.
Wang Qi’s birth brought no joy to the Wang clan of Albion Village.
His situation hadn’t changed for a long time, either.
When crossing over, one should shout at the top of his lungs, “I’m at the top of this new world.” One should hug strange men and women, enjoy a few years of happiness, and then go off on their domineering career, no?
[Ha-ha. I had family and friends on Earth, a best friend, and wasn’t lacking in female admirers either. On top of it all, I had an education and a career I’ve been working towards for over a decade—my dream of seeking the truth.]
[Now you expect me to throw it all away and call these people mom, dad, and grandpa? Starting a life in this world that I did not want?]
That was what Wang Qi thought. His mother died at birth and did not remember her at all. Even toward his disillusioned father, he held him more in pity than familiarity.
[We all had shitty luck. I crossed over, and you had a freak for a son, ha-ha.]
Only when his father passed away and his grandfather hugged him close and in pain did he realize he had done something bad.
Thus, he tried calling the old man grandpa.
Seeing old man Wang’s wrinkled smile, he decided to try being a normal grandson.
When old man Wang was about to pass on, he took Wang Qi’s hand and said, “Child, be happy from now on. Learn to smile a little. Not even a ghost will reject a child that loves to smile.”
Wang Qi felt it was his duty to live happily.
He thought being happy was easy. Wasn’t it all about finding enjoyment? Everyone knew that.
And yet…
Wang Qi gazed at the night sky and said, “Like Su Junyu said, I know joy, but I don’t know my own joy.”