What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding: A Reassuring Month-by-Month Guide for the Father-to-Be, Whether He Wants Advice or Not

187 Pages·2012·4.13 MB·English

by  Thomas Hill

To all my babies and former babies—
Deke, Frederica, Parker, Bixby, Walker, and Griffin
—but they all have to wait till they’re grown-up to read it!

And to my inspiring and loving wife, Michelle.
Contents

Preface to the Third Edition
How This Book Was Conceived . . . Again

Introduction
Why This Book Was Conceived

CHAPTER ONE: What to Expect When . . . “You’re What?”
“You’re What?”
What It’s Darn Important to Know about Prepregnancy Tests
What You Should Have Known About Home Pregnancy Tests Before You
Bought This Book
What You May Be Concerned About
The Job of Sex
Goo Goo Google
Emotional Maturity
A Bundle of Joy

CHAPTER TWO: Throughout Your Pregnancy
The Eight Danger Signals
The Monthly Prenatal Checkups in Review
How Big? Sooo Big!
High-Tech Pregnant
What You May Be Concerned About
Eating Right
When Not to Call the Practitioner
Exercise
What Not to Do
Quitting Smoking Now

CHAPTER THREE: The First Month
What Your Wife May Look Like
What Your Wife Will Be Complaining About
A Couple of Things to Say to Let Her Know You’re Caring, Sensitive, and Up
On the Required Reading
What to Buy This Month
The Minefield: A Guide to the Wrong Gifts for Your Pregnant Wife
What You May Be Concerned About
Sex During Pregnancy
Tippling for Two
Genetic Counseling
Genetic-Issues Pop Quiz
Gender Preference
Weight Gain
Toxoplasmosis

CHAPTER FOUR: The Second Month
What Your Wife May Look Like
What Your Wife Will Be Complaining About
A Couple of Things to Say to Let Her Know You’re Caring, Sensitive, and Up
On the Required Reading
What to Buy This Month
The Right Stroll
What You May Be Concerned About
Or What a Friend of Yours May Be Concerned About
The Interim Name
Avoiding Couvade Syndrome
College
Maternity Fashion
Lucky Guesses
The New Place
What You May Be Freaked Out About
Vanishing-Twin Syndrome

CHAPTER FIVE: The Third Month
What Your Wife May Look Like
What Your Wife Will Be Complaining About
A Couple of Things to Say to Let Her Know You’re Caring, Sensitive, and Up
On the Required Reading
What to Buy This Month
Making Not Working Work
A New Father’s Spiritual Journey
What You May Be Concerned About
Varicose Veins
Boy or Girl?
Her Food Cravings
Telling
Special Celebrity Feature!
Celebrity Baby Name Guide

CHAPTER SIX: The Fourth Month
What Your Wife May Look Like
What Your Wife Will Be Complaining About
A Couple of Things to Say to Let Her Know You’re Caring, Sensitive, and Up
On the Required Reading
What to Buy This Month
Your Social-Media Pregnancy and Birth
What You May Be Concerned About
Public Displays of Affection
Am I a Sexist?
The Antidog Contingent
Being Concerned About Everything
The Ring
Toys!
Faking Couvade

CHAPTER SEVEN: The Fifth or Sixth Month—Somewhere Around There
What Your Wife May Look Like
What Your Wife Will Still Be Complaining About
A Couple of Things to Say to Let Her Know You’re Caring, Sensitive, and Up
On the Required Reading
What to Buy This Month, Whatever Month It Is
What You May Be Concerned About
Sex During Pregnancy
Diapers and Landfills
Becoming a Father
Things That, It Turns Out, Are Not Funny
Taking the Pledge
Perineal Massage
Staying Married

CHAPTER EIGHT: The Seventh Month
What Your Wife May Look Like
What Your Wife Will Constantly Be Complaining About
A Couple of Things to Say to Let Her Know You’re Caring, Sensitive, and Up
On the Required Reading
What to Buy This Month
Special Quiz: Trick Questions
What You May Be Concerned About
Let’s Be Alarmist
Sex During Pregnancy
Doing the Lamaze
Putting Together the Crib
Home Alone
Pregnancy Simulations
Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers
Breast Is Best
The Minivan (What You Are Really, to Be Honest, Most Concerned
About)

CHAPTER NINE: The Eighth Month
What Your Wife May Look Like
What Your Wife Will Be Complaining About
A Couple of Things to Say to Let Her Know You’re Caring, Sensitive, and Up
On the Required Reading
What to Buy This Month
What You May Be Concerned About
Sex During Pregnancy
Fetal Anger
Photographing the Belly
The Baby Book
The Least Complete Baby Name Guide
What to Name Your Baby When You’re Not Serious About Naming Your
Baby
Special Revised Edition Baby-Naming Notes
Restless Leg Syndrome
It’s Just a Dream

CHAPTER TEN: The Ninth Month
What Your Wife May Look Like
What Your Wife Will Be Complaining About
A Couple of Things to Say to Let Her Know You’re Caring, Sensitive, and Up
On the Required Reading
What to Buy This Month
What to Take to the Hospital
What You May Be Concerned About
The Due Date
Pregnancy Brain
The Nesting Instinct
Crib Notes from Childbirth Class
Advanced Paternal Age
The Baby
Cold Feet

CHAPTER ELEVEN: Labor and Delivery
What Your Wife Will Be Complaining About
A Couple of Things to Say to Let Her Know You’re Caring, Sensitive, and Up
On the Required Reading
Videotaping Your Delivery
The POPGAR Test
In The News: The Latest Reports
What You May Be Concerned About
Fear of Switching
Painkillers
What to Say During Labor
Taking Pictures
Circumcision
CHAPTER TWELVE: The First Weeks
What Your Wife Will Be Complaining About
A Couple of Things to Say to Let Her Know You’re Caring, Sensitive, and Up
On the Required Reading
What Did You Expect?
The Silver Linings of Sleeplessness
What You May Be Concerned About
Crying
Taking Care of Mom
Hair Loss
Going Back to Work
Working Woman
Fear of Changing
The Name
Wisdom of the Fathers
The Balloons
Child Care

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Life with Baby
What Your Wife Will Be Complaining About
A Couple of Things to Say to Let Her Know You’re Caring, Sensitive, and Up
On the Required Reading
What to Buy During the First Year
Total Childproofing
What to Read
What to Expect in Your Cart
What You May Be Concerned About
Going Back to Work
Safety Can Be Fun
Let’s Do It Again
Flying Babies
The Farmer in the Dell
Superman Syndrome
Postpartum Medical School Syndrome
Success
AFTERWORD: What Did You Expect?

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