Understanding and Coping with Failure: Psychoanalytic perspectives

263 Pages·2014·1.29 MB·English

by  Brent Willock, Rebecca Coleman Curtis, Lori C. Bohm

UNDERSTANDING AND COPING
WITH FAILURE
Failure is a theme of great importance in most clinical conditions and in everyday
life, from birth until death. Its impact can be destabilizing, even disastrous. In
spite of these facts, there has been no comprehensive psychoanalytic exploration
of this topic. U nderstanding and Coping with Failure: Psychoanalytic perspec-
tives fi lls this gap by examining failure from many perspectives. It goes a long
way toward increasing understanding of the numerous issues involved and pro-
vides many valuable insights into ways of coping with these challenging experi-
ences, and several chapters discuss positive aspects of failure – what can be
learned from what would otherwise simply be regrettable experiences.
Brent Willock, Rebecca Coleman Curtis and Lori C. Bohm bring together a rich
diversity of topics explored in thoughtful ways by an international group of
authors from the United Kingdom, Canada and the United States. Failed therapies
(which have been examined in the literature) are but one element freshly explored
in this comprehensive exploration of the topic. The book is divided into sections
covering the following topics: Failing and forgiving; Society-wide failure; Failure
in the family; Therapeutic failure; Professional failure in the consulting room and
on the career path; Integrity vs despair: facing failure in the fi nal phase of the life
cycle; Metaphoric bridges and creativity and The long shadow of childhood
relational trauma.
Understanding and Coping with Failure will be eagerly welcomed by all those
trying to increase their awareness, understanding and capacity to work with the
many ramifi cations of this important issue. Because of the uniqueness of this
broad, detailed exploration of the complexities of the failure experience, it will be
essential reading for psychoanalysts, psychotherapists, psychologists, psychia-
trists, social workers, counselors and students in these disciplines. It will also
appeal to a wider audience interested in the psychoanalytic perspective.
Brent Willock is President of the Toronto Institute for Contemporary
Psychoanalysis, Board Member of the Canadian Institute for Child and Adolescent
Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy and on the faculty of the Institute for the
Advancement of Self Psychology. He is the editor with Lori C. Bohm and
Rebecca Coleman Curtis of C omparative-Integrative Psychoanalysis (Analytic
Press, 2007), On Deaths and Endings: Psychoanalysts’ refl ections on fi nality,
transformations and new beginnings (Routledge, 2007) and L oneliness and
Longing: Conscious and unconscious aspects (Routledge, 2011).
Rebecca Coleman Curtis is Professor of Psychology at Adelphi University and
Faculty and Supervisor at the William Alanson White Institute and Supervisor at
the National Institute for the Psychotherapies, New York.
Lori C. Bohm is Supervising Analyst, Faculty and Director at the Center for
Applied Psychoanalysis and Intensive Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy programs at
the William Alanson White Institute. She is Psychotherapy Supervisor in the
Clinical Psychology Doctoral Program at City College of the City University of
New York.
UNDERSTANDING AND
COPING WITH FAILURE
PSYCHOANALYTIC PERSPECTIVES
Edited by Brent Willock,
Rebecca Coleman Curtis and
Lori C. Bohm
First published 2014
by Routledge
27 Church Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 2FA
and by Routledge
711 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10017
Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business
© 2014 Brent Willock, Rebecca Coleman Curtis, and Lori C. Bohm
The right of Brent Willock, Rebecca Coleman Curtis, and Lori C. Bohm to be identifi ed
as the authors of the editorial material, and of the authors for their individual chapters,
has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and
Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or reproduced or utilized in
any form or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter
invented, including photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or
retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publishers.
Trademark notice: Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered
trademarks, and are used only for identifi cation and explanation without intent to
infringe.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Understanding and coping with failure : psychoanalytic perspectives / Brent Willock,
Rebecca Coleman Curtis and Lori C. Bohm (eds).
pages cm
1. Failure (Psychology) 2. Adjustment (Psychology) I. Willock, Brent. II. Curtis,
Rebecca C. III. Bohm, Lori C.
BF575.F14U544 2014
155.2’4–dc23
2013047532
ISBN: 978-0-415-85852-6 (hbk)
ISBN: 978-0-415-85853-3 (pbk)
ISBN: 978-1-315-77319-3 (ebk)
Typeset in Times New Roman
by Cenveo Publisher Services
CONTENTS
List of contributors ix
Acknowledgements xii
Vincent Van Gogh and the paradox of failure xiii
Introduction: Fail up! Analyzing failures and using
them to our advantage 1
REBECCA COLEMAN CURTIS AND TIFFANY L. FRANK
PART I
Failing and forgiving 7
1 Fail better 9
RICHARD HOLLOWAY
2 Failing with grace: how a golden thread of
forgiveness runs through psychoanalysis 15
KARL LOSZAK
PART II
Society-wide failure 23
3 Success and failure: cultural and psychoanalytic
perspectives 25
JANET G. BENTON
4 Blind spot in the analytic lens: our failure to
address environmental uncertainty 33
ELIZABETH ALLURED
CONTENTS
5 Failing better: working through chronic system/
personal/treatment failures in psychoanalysis 43
MARK B. BORG, JR
PART III
Failure in the family 55
6 Whose report card is it anyway? Helping parents
move from empathic failure to empathic attunement 57
STEPHEN HYMAN
7 Failure in couple relationships – and in couple
psychotherapy 65
MOLLY LUDLAM
8 Clutching defeat from the jaws of victory:
failure, self-destruction, and the Icarus myth 72
ROBERT MENDELSOHN
9 You can’t go home again 81
HENRY M. SEIDEN
PART IV
Therapeutic failure 89
10 Dora and the bathwater: a relational perspective
on shame and psychoanalytic failure 91
AMIRA SIMHA-ALPERN
11 Thinking through therapeutic failure concerning a
suicidal patient 99
MARSHA AILEEN HEWITT
PART V
Professional failure in the consulting room
and on the career path 115
12 Whatever happened? A clinical evaluation of the
relationship between Humpty Dumpty and the wall 117
FRANCES M. CLARK
vi
CONTENTS
13 Failure to contain unbearable affect: rupture and e-repair 123
LINDA S. BERGMAN
14 Refl ections on the failure to become a training analyst 132
JOHN A. SLOANE
15 The blame game: fi nding attributional balance in failure 143
JOHN V. O’LEARY
PART VI
Integrity vs despair: facing failure in the fi nal
phase of the life cycle 153
16 The challenge of obsolescence 155
MICHAEL STERN
17 Failure of the body: perseverance of the spirit 164
J. GAIL WHITE AND MICHELLE FLAX
18 Brief candle 172
ROBERT LANGAN
PART VII
Metaphoric bridges and creativity 179
19 Otto Rank’s notion of the neurotic as the a rtiste manqué 181
ANN BARANOWSKI
20 Standing tall: bodily metaphors in a case of self-defeating
personal failure 188
CHRISTOPHER A. MCINTOSH
21 The failure to understand as a transitional experience 194
IONAS SAPOUNTZIS
PART VIII
The long shadow of childhood relational trauma 205
22 The big hit: how adult illness can recapitulate childhood
trauma and fear of failure 207
JUDITH E. LEVENE
vii
CONTENTS
23 The man who mistook his daughter for his ex-wife 216
BRENT WILLOCK
PART IX
Refl ections and fi nal words 229
24 Failure as a spur to growth 231
LORI C. BOHM
25 Failure’s pervasive presence 237
BRENT WILLOCK
Index 243
viii
CONTRIBUTORS
Elizabeth Allured , Faculty, Derner Institute of Advanced Psychological Studies,
Adelphi University and Suffolk Institute for Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy.
Ann Baranowski , Faculty, Toronto Institute for Contemporary Psychoanalysis
and Wilfrid Laurier University.
Janet G. Benton , Supervisor/Faculty, William Alanson White Institute, Institute
for Contemporary Psychotherapy, Teachers College, Columbia University,
City University of New York and Metropolitan Center for Mental Health.
Linda S. Bergman , Former Assistant Director of Clinical Services, Postdoctoral
Psychotherapy Center, Adelphi University and private practice, Centerport,
Long Island and New York City.
Lori C. Bohm , Supervising Analyst, Faculty member and Director at the Center
for Applied Psychoanalysis and Intensive Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy,
William Alanson White Institute, Psychotherapy Supervisor, Clinical Psychology
Doctoral Program at City College of the City University of New York.
Mark B. Borg, Jr , Supervisor, William Alanson White Institute, Senior Partner,
Community Consulting Group and Owner, Human Anti-Depressant Project.
Frances M. Clark , Training Therapist and Supervisor, Scottish Training in
Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy and Adult Psychotherapist, NHS, Glasgow.
Rebecca Coleman Curtis , Professor of Psychology, Adelphi University and
Faculty, William Alanson White Institute.
Michelle Flax , Supervising Analyst and Faculty, Toronto Institute for
Contemporary Psychoanalysis.
Tiffany L. Frank , Postdoctoral Psychology Fellow at the Jewish Board of Family
and Children’s Services, Pride of Judea, Douglaston, NY.
Marsha A. Hewitt , Professor, Social Ethics and Religion, Trinity College and
Department of Religion, University of Toronto and Faculty, Toronto Institute
ix