The Teen Owner's Manual. Operating Instructions, Troubleshooting Tips, and Advice on Adolescent...

223 Pages·2014·28.79 MB·English

by  Sarah Jordan

Copyright © 2010 by Quirk Productions, Inc.
Illustrations copyright © 2010 by Headcase Design All rights reserved. No part of this book may be
reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number: 2009929778
eBook ISBN: 978-1-59474-417-4
Trade Paperback ISBN: 978-1-59474770-0
Designed and illustrated by Paul Kepple and Scotty Reifsnyder @ Headcase Design
www.headcasedesign.com
eBook production Management by John J. McGurk Quirk Books
215 Church Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
quirkbooks.com
v3.1
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER 1
CRAM SESSION: PREPPING FOR THE TEEN YEARS
Brave New World: Understanding What’s Motivating Your Teen
The Most Important Habits of a Highly Successful Parent
▪ Give Me Your Unconditional Love
▪ Give Me Your Unconditional Love, Part 2
▪ Amp Up Your Child’s Inner Voice
▪ Develop the Problem-Solving Mind
▪ Listen!
▪ Start the Conversation
▪ Don’t Rule with an Iron Fist
How to Be a Super Model
You Are Not Your Child
CHAPTER 2
PHYSICAL EDUCATION: THE CHANGING BODY AND MIND OF YOUR TEEN
It’s All in the Timing: His and Her Puberty
▪ I Smell a Teenager
▪ Early and Later Signs of Puberty for Girls
▪ Early and Later Signs of Puberty for Boys
All About Breasts
▪ Embarrassment-Free Bra Shopping
▪ Getting the Right Bra Fit
Menstrual Periods and Sympathy
▪ It’s Not a Curse!
▪ Emergency Prep for Red-Letter Days
▪ Cramp Busters
Rogue Penises: What’s Going On Down There?
▪ Nocturnal Emissions 101
▪ Spontaneous Erections and Other Surprises
Masturbation Is Not a Dirty Word
▪ It’s Only Natural
▪ You Really Won’t Go Blind
Keeping It Clean with Teen Hygiene
▪ BO Be Gone!
Going Mental: This Is Your Teen’s Brain on Hormones
▪ My Amygdala Made Me Do It! Or, What’s Really Happening to Your
Child’s Brain
▪ I Was a Teenage Video Addict
Teen Zombies on the Loose: What You Need to Know About Teen Sleep
▪ Teenage Standard Time
▪ Take Back the Night!
The Skin Game: Whiteheads, Blackheads, Acne, and Misery
▪ Some Dos and Don’ts
Feeding Frenzy and the Growing Teen
Learning to Love That Bod
▪ It’s All in the Genes—and Then Some
▪ Your Body, Your Self
A Close Shave: Hair Removal 101
▪ Boys’ Edition
▪ Girls’ Edition
▪ Teen Obsessives’ Edition
CHAPTER 3
SCHOOL DAZE: MANAGING ACADEMIC LIFE
Making the Grade
▪ Whose Problem Is This, Anyway?
▪ Why Are Those Grades Dropping, Really?
▪ Don’t Get Angry—Get Help!
▪ How to Preserve Grades by Conserving Energy
Reality Check: What If It Is a Learning Disorder?
Home Is Where the Homework Is
▪ It’s All in the Habits
▪ To Supervise or to Meddle?
Performance Anxiety: Helping Your Kid Handle Stress
▪ Breathing Is Fundamental
Bullies, Mean Kids, and Hurt Feelings
▪ How to Recognize a Bully
▪ Shining a Light on the Bully
▪ Get the School Involved
Handling the Car Pool Brat
Ready or Not: Time to Think About College
▪ Road Tripping and Campus Visits
CHAPTER 4
SOCIAL STUDIES: YOUR TEEN’S SCENE
You Are No Longer the Center of Your Child’s Universe
Child Abandonment Syndrome: Parents’ Edition
The Truth About Cliques
▪ Running with the In Crowd
▪ Mean Girls, Inscrutable Boys: Meet the Stereotypes
Bad to the Bone?
Tech Talk: How to Keep Your Teen Safe in Cyberspace
▪ Prevention Is the Best Medicine
▪ Trust, but Verify
▪ Sexual Predators on the Prowl
▪ Cyber House Rules
The Birds and the Bees: It’s Time for “The Talk”
▪ My Body, Myself
▪ Sex Is the Word
STDs Are Scary, and Other Serious Topics
▪ Risk Management
▪ Protection, Protection, Protection
The Changing Ways of Love
▪ How to Be an Understanding Parent
Is My Teen Gay?
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
Dance Fever: Dances, Proms, and Other Courtship Rituals
▪ Not Your Grandfather’s Mixer
▪ Prom Pointers
CHAPTER 5
LANGUAGE REQUIREMENT: THE IMPORTANCE OF COMMUNICATION
Talking Points
▪ Lectures Don’t Work
▪ Be a “Yes” Man
▪ Using “I” Statements
▪ Practice Listening
▪ The No-Gloat Zone
How to Deal with Lying
When Resistance Seems Futile
The Old Silent Treatment?
Drama Kings and Queens
▪ I Hate You! I Really Hate You!
▪ The Perils of Profanity
▪ Emotional Seizures: When There’s No Going Back
▪ When the F-Bomb Drops: Take Cover!
Moody Blues: Signs of Teen Depression
CHAPTER 6
PEP RALLY: LIMIT-TESTING AND INDEPENDENCE
House Rules and Limits
▪ Truth and Consequences
▪ Meet the Enforcer
Highs and Lows: Risks of Substance Abuse
▪ Be Prepared
▪ How to Save Face While Just Saying No
Car Talk: Learning the Rules of the Road
Money, Work, and Responsibility: Making Cents
Adventures in Teen Style
CHAPTER 7
GRADUATION: FLYING THE COOP AND BEYOND
What to Expect When You’re Expecting Your Kid to Leave
Practical Matters: The Return
Time to Toss Your Cap in the Air
APPENDIX
INDEX
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHORS AND ILLUSTRATORS
Welcome
to your new role as parent of a teenager!
Congratulations on making it this far as a parent.