The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living with Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder

223 Pages·2002·3.28 MB·English

by  Randi Kreger

“Kreger gives an incredible amount of information, yet meets the needs of
many types of readers. The anecdotes are memorable, the tasks are engaging,
and the structure allows people to read it on an intellectual or emotional level.
Most importantly, she has provided a great bridge between the high-level,
abstract BPD theories and research and the realities of everyday life.”
—Patricia Davis, family member of a person with BPD
“The workbook is absolutely extraordinary. It’s a masterpiece and one of a
kind. I couldn’t put it down. The Action Steps are right on target. Like Stop
Walking on Eggshells, this book is another work of art.”
—Rita Closson, M.A.
THE
Stop Walking
on Eggshells
WORKBOOK
Practical Strategies
for Living with
Someone Who Has
Borderline
Personality Disorder
RANDI KREGER with james paul shirley, l.m.s.w.
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
Publisher’s Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the
understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert
assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Lyrics from “This Too Will Pass” written by Carrie Newcomer. Published by CARRIE NEWCOMER MUSIC/Administered
by BUG. All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Quotes from I’m Not Supposed to Be Here by Rachel Reiland are reprinted with her permission. Published by Eggshells Press,
2002.
Quotes and recommendations from Teresa Whitehurst are printed with her permission.
Quotes from Helen S. are printed with her permission.
Quotes from Shannon Mike are printed with her permission.
Quotes from “Non-guy” are used with his permission.
Copyright © 2002 by Randi Kreger
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609
Cover design by Amy Shoup
Edited by Brady Kahn
Text design by Tracy Powell-Carlson
Paperback:
ISBN-10 1-57224-271-X
ISBN-13 978-1-57224-271-0

Ebook:
ISBN-13: 978-1-57224-715-4
All Rights Reserved
Printed in the United States of America
New Harbinger Publications’ website address: www.newharbinger.com
10 09 08
20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12
This book is dedicated to my husband, Robert L. Burko, a man who says he does not believe
in unconditional love but gives it nevertheless. His love, acceptance, and willingness to
support me and my BPD work over these past years have made this workbook possible and
enriched the lives of thousands of people he will never know. Thank you.
Hold tight, hold hands with me
All is trouble just as far as you can see
So here we are and here we stand
So we’ll stare it down just to prove that we can
And ride it out to the last
It’s true, this too will pass.
Small comfort when it goes so deep
And you roll at night in fitful sleep
I’ll tell you what I know
As sure as trouble comes
Yah, trouble will go
I’ll say it though you didn’t ask
It’s true, this too will pass.
So lay it down, lay it down right here.
All your sorrows, all your troubles and your fears.
I can’t tell you how it goes this far
Or explain why it gets so damn hard
Or there are times that shine like jewels
And will be all the brighter for what you’ve been through
So hold these times tightly clasped
It’s true, this too will pass.
So out of the darkest place
And the hardest times that you’ve ever had to face
We’re more tender than some would believe
And we still find it hard to ask for what we need
But don’t give up too fast
It’s true, this too will pass
It’s true, this too will pass.
—Carrie Newcomer, “This Too Will Pass”
Contents
Foreword ix
Acknowledgments xi
Introduction 1
Part 1
From Confusion to Clarity: Understanding BPD
Chapter 1
Walking on Eggshells: Does Someone in Your Life Have BPD Traits? 9
Chapter 2
Defining BPD: The DSM-IV and Cognitive Distortions 27
Chapter 3
Defining BPD: The Subtypes 41
Chapter 4
Getting Together: Relationship Behavior Patterns 55
Chapter 5
Brainwashing 101: How BPD Behavior Affects You 71