The Little Red Book of Very Dirty Words

209 Pages·2009·0.98 MB·English

by  Alexis Munier

Alexis Munier
Copyright © 2009 by Alexis Munier.
All rights reserved.
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ISBN 10: 1-60550-652-4
ISBN 13: 978-1-60550-652-4
eISBN: 978-1-44051-357-2
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To Greg, Mikey, and Toby,
the filthiest f**king guys I know.
—ALEXIS MUNIER
Contents
Introduction
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
1, 2, 3 . . .
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z
Introduction
Ah English—if there is anything close to a perfect language for cursing,
swearing and insulting, you’ve found it. English is not only spoken in one
variant or another in the UK, Ireland, South Africa, Australia, United States, and
the Caribbean, but it’s also the mother tongue of more than a third of a billion
mofos worldwide. Fortunately, English has borrowed from many languages over
the years, making it the world’s richest—and raunchiest—language, ripe with
delectable dirty words. Unfortunately, unless you can really shoot the shit, you
have some serious catching up to do.
You may think you’re all that, but there’s more to putting someone in their
place than calling them shitface. Is he just not that into you when he calls you a
minger? When that biddy says she’s chuffed, should you unzip your fly or slam
the door in her face? If your lover begs for a chili dog, do you stock up on beans
or wet wipes?
No fear: The Little Red Book of Very Dirty Words is here to give you a
deliciously filthy introduction into the netherworlds (and nether regions) of true
American, British, Australian, and other sorts of forbidden English. Be it
cocksucking in Cleveland or leathered in London, this hysterical collection of
dirty slang, idioms, and colloquialisms will have you begging for it. So call dibs
on that seat, get plastered, and channel your inner potty-mouth with the
sidesplitting linguistic journey that is The Little Red Book of Very Dirty Words.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
A heartfelt thank you to contributors Matt Glazer, Jason Niemann, Gregory
Bergman, Michael Paul Lee, T.S. Winn, Chris Robson, and Katherine Clinton
Robson for their excellent work. Thanks as well to Mom, Emmanuel Tichelli,
Georgina Bingham, Toby and Karen Ernberg, Yoann Unghy, Coralee Elder,
Louis Da Drama, Bondy, Si, Jimmy, Alec, Big Gay, the Robsons, the Andersons,
Derek Hambly, and David George, who all took the time to get down and dirty
for this book.
—ALEXIS MUNIER
1, 2, 3 . . .
1 + 1 = 3, n.
the sex act as procreation; American The unconventional equation, 1 + 1 = 3,
reminds us that what takes two can produce a third—a baby.
3-way, n.
a sexual threesome, usually (but not always) two women and a man; American
The images of a 3-way with the tall twins from Texas haunted his dreams for
weeks.
Top Five Male Sex Fantasies 1. Sex with two women at the same
time 2. Sex with two women at the same time 3. Sex with two
women at the same time
4. Sex with a famous celebrity
5. Oral sex (getting it, that is)
4-way, n.
sex that involves four people, usually (but not always) two men and two women;
American Think of a 4-way as a sort of Sexual Twister game in which you play
for orgasms, rather than points.
69, n.
sex position in which partners give each other oral sex at the same time;
American The sex position 69 is the ultimate tit for tat accommodation.
THE LOVELIEST NUMBER
Called The Crow in the Kama Sutra, 69 is a nestling of bodies that allows lovers to
perform oral sex on one another simultaneously—a pretty picture that has been
immortalized in countless images over the ages. One such notorious engraving
allegedly created by the acclaimed Belgian painter Felician Rops in 1865 appeared in
Le Diable au Corps—and was promptly banned in France. Imagine what they would
have thought in Boston!