The Enlightened Cyclist: Commuter Angst, Dangerous Drivers, and Other Obstacles on the Path to Two-Wheeled Trancendence

226 Pages·2012·52.96 MB·English

by  BikeSnobNYC

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DRIVERS, AND OTHER OBSTACLES
ON THE PATH TO TWO-WHEELED
TRANSCENDENCE
C
BIKE SNOB N Y
DEDICATION:
To everybody everywhere who commutes by bicycle.
Copyright © 2012 by Eben Weiss.
Illustrations copyright © 2012 by Josh Cochran.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may
be reproduced in any form without written
permission from the publisher.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available.
ISBN: 978-1-4521-0500-0
Manufactured in China
Designed by Michael Morris
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Chronicle Books LLC
680 Second Street
San Francisco, California 94107
www.chroniclebooks.com
A Note on Commuting 6
INTRODUCTION: Commuting by Bicycle and the
Indignity Thereof 9
BOOK I: In the Beginning, There Was Irritation . . . 17
REVELATION: The Worst Day I Ever Had and
Why It Gave Me Faith in Humanity 18
COMMUNION THROUGH COMMUTING: Why Commuting
is the Portal and the Bicycle is the Tool 25
GENESIS: Who We Are, How We Got This Way,
and How to Get to Where We Need to Be 38
BOOK II:Leviticus Now 63
Annoying Cyclist Behavior 64
Annoying Driver-on-Cyclist Behavior 83
Annoying Cyclist-on-Driver Behavior 94
BOOK III:Let Our People Go 103
REVILED: The Backlash Against Cycling 104
TO MARKET, TO MARKET: How Cycling is Sold 128
BIKES VS. CARS: What are We Fighting For? 153
HEATHENDOM: Why People Don’t Ride 170
BOOK IV:Transcendence 187
The Alchemy of the Mundane 188
Confess!!! 211
Acknowledgments 220
A NOTE ON
COMMUTING
Merriam-Webster offers the following definitions of commute
(though not in this order):
• “to travel between back and forth regularly (as between a
suburb and a city)”
• “to give in exchange for another”
• “to change (a penalty) to another less severe <commute a
death sentence to life in prison>”
This book focuses on commuting, and when I use that word
I often mean that first thing, which is going back and forth to your
school or workplace.
However, I also use the word to include all forms of practical
cycling and transportation in general—shopping, running errands,
and even social calls—really, any trip in which the importance of
the destination and what you do there trumps the journey itself.
(As opposed to, say, putting on Lycra pants and riding just for the
fun of it.)
In other words, if you don’t go to school, you don’t work, and you
mostly go places by bike to drink beer with friends, you can still read
this book.
Also, this is not a work of bicycle advocacy or a treatise on
municipal traffic statutes. In fact, if you’re looking for facts and
statistics, you’d be better off buying a case of Snapple and reading
the trivia on the underside of the bottle caps. So if you dropped out
of school and don’t like to use your brain, good, you can still read
this book (or have a friend read it to you).
Additionally, when I refer to commuting, I’m also implicitly
referring to that other definition: “to give in exchange for another.”
We generally experience frustration while commuting for one of
two reasons: Either certain people want us to give in and exchange
our vehicle type for another, or people don’t want to make way for
those who have elected to perform this exchange and use a vehicle
type different from their own.
Last, while much of this book is about what’s currently wrong
with our approach to commuting and why, the ultimate goal relates
to that last definition: “to change (a penalty) to another less severe.”
The way we commute can eventually change the misery that is
inherent in our lives into something less severe and unpleasant, for
ourselves and for others.
We’re not our bikes, we’re not our cars, and —thank freaking
goodness—we are not our Segways. We are only ourselves.
A Note on Commuting 7

INTRODUCTION:
COMMUTING BY
BICYCLE AND THE
INDIGNITY THEREOF
It is a summer afternoon on a weekday in Brooklyn. I am feeling irra-
tionally optimistic (inasmuch as all optimism is irrational), and I
am riding my bicycle from my home in an “uncool” neighborhood to
a destination along the borough’s “cool belt” (or, as I call it, the “Great
Hipster Silk Route”) roughly three miles away.
As I travel toward the more gentrified neighborhoods, New York
City’s nascent bicycle infrastructure literally materializes beneath
my wheels in the form of lime green protected bike lanes and white
chevron-shaped “sharrows.” Whereas moments before, battered
livery cabs and dilapidated minivans with duct-taped bumpers
nearly forced me into parked cars, I’m now safely ensconced in my
own lane and happily reciting that hoary Irish blessing (at least the
part of it I know): “May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be
ever at your back.” My optimism borders on bliss.