Teens Who Hurt: Clinical Interventions to Break the Cycle of Adolescent Violence

288 Pages·2005·1.29 MB·English

by  Kenneth V. Hardy

TEENS WHO HURT

TEENS WHO HURT
Clinical Interventions to Break
the Cycle of Adolescent Violence
• • •
KENNETH V. HARDY
TRACEY A. LASZLOFFY
THE GUILFORD PRESS
New York London
© 2005 The Guilford Press
A Division of Guilford Publications, Inc.
72 Spring Street, New York, NY 10012
www.guilford.com
All rights reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced, translated, stored in
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electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilming, recording,
or otherwise, without written permission from the Publisher.
Printed in the United States of America
This book is printed on acid-free paper.
Last digit is print number: 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Hardy, Kenneth V.
Teens who hurt: clinical interventions to break the cycle of
adolescent violence / Kenneth V. Hardy, Tracey A. Laszloffy.
p. cm.
ISBN 1-57230-749-8 (cloth)
Includes bibliographical references (p. ) and index.
1. Violence in adolescence—Prevention. 2. Juvenile delinquency—
Prevention. 3. Adolescent psychotherapy. I. Laszloffy, Tracey A.
II. Title
RJ506.V56 H37 2005
618.92′8582 22
2004026675
About the Authors
Kenneth V. Hardy, PhD, is a professor of family therapy at
SyracuseUniversityandisDirectoroftheEikenbergInstituteforRela-
tionships in New York. He is the former Director of the Center for
Children,Families,andTraumaattheAckermanInstitutefortheFam-
ily in New York. Dr. Hardy has provided training and consultation for
working with troubled children and youth throughout the United
States, Europe, and Asia. His work has been featured on The Oprah
Winfrey Show, 20/20, Dateline NBC, PBS, and the Discovery Health
Channel. Dr. Hardy maintains a private practice in New York.
TraceyA.Laszloffy,PhD,isarelationshiptherapistwhospecial-
izes in working with troubled adolescents and their families. Cur-
rently she maintains a private practice in Connecticut, and prior to
this, she directed the Marriage and Family Therapy master’s program
atSetonHillUniversityinGreensburg,Pennsylvania.Dr.Laszloffyhas
publishedextensively,andsheroutinelyprovidestrainingandconsul-
tation to organizations that work with at-risk youth.
v
Acknowledgments
We want to thank several people for the contributions they made
tothisbook.Foremostamongthemaretheadolescentsandtheirfam-
ilies who so courageously opened their hearts to us, trusted us with
their stories, and allowed us to share parts of their lives with others.
We remain grateful to them for their faith in us and for the risks that
each of them took in allowing us into their world. They taught us a
great deal, and without their courage and their confidence in us we
never would have been able to develop the model we present in this
book—hence, this book would never have been possible.
In addition to the adolescents themselves and their families, we
want to acknowledge the countless educators, social service profes-
sionals, and other concerned adults who have devoted themselves to
nurturingandsupportingyoungpeople.Manyofthemhavestruggled
alone for years with minimal institutional support while extending
themselves to kids who so desperately need their help. Often at great
personalandprofessionalcosts,theseindividualshavechallengedthe
systemstheyworkintoseethegoodinkidswhodobadthingsandto
create opportunities for healing and growth. They too have taught us
somuchaboutthechallengesfacingadolescentswhoturntoviolence
and how we can best help these kids.
Thankyoutoourcolleagueswhohavebeenthereforusoncount-
lessoccasionstodiscussdifficultcasesandtolistenandofferfeedback
to our ideas while we were in the process of developing and refining
them.And,ofcourse,thankyoutoourfamiliesfortheirpatiencewith
us when we have felt tired, disheartened, and in despair, and for the
ways in which they stood by us as we labored to commit to paper the
work that has been the focus of so much of our time, energy, and
attention.
vi
Contents
Introduction 1
PART I • The Model
CHAPTER 1 • Adolescent Violence 11
in a Sociocultural Context
CHAPTER 2 • Devaluation 34
CHAPTER 3 • Disruption of Community 62
CHAPTER 4 • The Dehumanization of Loss 78
CHAPTER 5 • Rage 95
PART II • Strategies
CHAPTER 6 • Adolescent Axioms: General Principles 125
for Working with Adolescents
CHAPTER 7 • Counteracting Devaluation 149
CHAPTER 8 • The Restoration of Community 180
CHAPTER 9 • Rehumanizing Loss 214
CHAPTER 10 • Rechanneling Rage 241
CHAPTER 11 • Final Reflections 267
References 271
Index 275
vii

Introduction
About 10 years ago we began doing therapy with troubled and
often violent adolescents. As our work developed we began to receive
invitations to consult with schools and communities throughout the
UnitedStateswhowerestrugglingwithaggression,bullying,andvio-
lenceamongyoungpeople.Guidedbythepremisethatallpeoplehave
the potential to be violent, the question that most nagged at us was:
Why do some resort to violence while others do not? We wanted to
understand what factors underpin this problem, and we wanted to
develop strategies for counteracting those influences. From the many
hours we spent talking with countless teenagers and their families in
therapy and with the adolescent victims and perpetrators of violence
in schools and communities across the United States, gradually our
modelforunderstandingandaddressingadolescentviolenceemerged.
Our model assumes that indeed we all have the potential to be
violent, but what seems to differentiate those who actualize this
potential from those who do not is the interaction of four aggravated
factors: devaluation, erosion of community, dehumanized loss, and
rage. In this book we discuss each of these factors, explain what they
mean,andoutlinestrategiesforhowparents,teachers,therapists,and
other concerned adults can take specific actions to address and ulti-
mately reduce this violence.
Fifteenyearsago,thisbookprobablywouldnothaveattractedthe
attentionofmostofAmerica.Whileurban,poorcommunitiesofcolor
were well versed in the prevalence, consequences, and need to attend
to adolescent violence, prior to the mid-1990s most of America had
not yet recognized the seriousness of this problem. When we first
1
2 • 2Introduction
beganworkingwithviolentteensalmost10yearsago,adolescentvio-
lencewasjustbeginningtocapturetheattentionofthenation,andat
that time a book like this probably would have garnered much inter-
est.Presently,intheaftermathof9/11andwiththecountry’sanxious
focus on war and terrorism, the problem of adolescent violence may
seem less important or even passé to many Americans.
Much like a child with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder
(ADHD), as a society our attention shifts rapidly from one arousing
andcaptivatingsetofstimulitoanother.Wehaveahardtimefocusing
forverylongonanyparticularissue.Inourrapidlypaced,technologi-
cally advanced, super-speed society, we are all bombarded with a
relentless stream of viscerally arousing, quickly moving stimuli. We
liveinanagewhenCNNHeadlineNewshasus“aroundtheworldin60
minutes,”andinthose60minutesmultiplefocalpointsarebroadcast
simultaneously, all beckoning for our attention. From the main news
features, to the headline news streaking across the bottom of the
screen, to the sports report appearing in one corner and the weather
report appearing in another, we are subjected to a perpetual blast of
competing demands for our focus. With so much competition for our
attention, each byte of information must be presented in increasingly
provocative, sexy, colorful, tantalizing, and shocking ways if it is to
haveanychanceofcapturingourgaze.Andevenwhenastimulushas
caughtourattention,inthefinalanalysis,nooneiscapableofholding
on to it for very long.
Adolescent violence has been a serious problem in this country
for decades, but it wasn’t until the late 1990s—when the face of the
violence shifted from urban streets to suburban and rural schools,
fromblackandLatinokidstowhitekids,fromthosewhowerepoorto
thosewhoweremiddle-classoraffluent,andevenfromboystogirls—
that this problem attracted national attention. For a period of time,
theseshootingsandthebroader,deeperproblemtheypointedtowere
shockingtomostAmericans.Butthepublic’sattentioncannotremain
focused for very long on any particular issue.
In late 2001 the media found a new crisis to rally around. In the
wake of the 9/11 tragedy, and in this new era of war and terrorism,
our attention has been diverted from the problem of adolescent vio-
lence.Butthisshiftinfocusshouldnotbeconfusedwithamelioration
oftheproblem.Tothecontrary,fartoomanyyoungpeopleacrossthe
United States continue to suffer from the trauma that both leads to
and that flows from violence. Adolescent violence is now, as it was 5