Surprisingly...Unstuck: The Power of Small Healthy Habits, In a World Addicted to Instant Results

175 Pages·2014·0.95 MB·English

by  Maria Brilaki

S …
URPRISINGLY
U
NSTUCK

T P O S H H ,
HE OWER F MALL EALTHY ABITS
I A W A T I R
N ORLD DDICTED O NSTANT ESULTS

By Maria Brilaki
Copyright @2012-2014 Maria Brilaki, Fitness Reloaded
All rights reserved. No part of this publication can be reproduced, stored in a
retrievable system, or transmitted, in any form or by a means electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, except by the inclusion of
brief quotations in a review or an article, without prior permission in writing by
the author or the publisher.

The advice contained within this book may be too strenuous for some
people, and the reader should consult their health practitioner before engaging in
them. The information in this book is for educational purposes only. Neither the
publisher nor author is engaged in rendering professional advice or services to
the individual reader. All matters regarding physical and mental health should be
supervised by a health practitioner knowledgeable in treating that particular
condition. Neither the author nor the publisher shall be liable or responsible for
any loss, injury, or damage allegedly arising from any information or suggestion
in this book.
To my dear love who takes care of me and has helped me stick to numerous
healthy habits…
T C
ABLE OF ONTENTS
Foreword
Part I. Why you get the weight back, quit the gym after 3 weeks, &
cannot make eating right a habit
The fallacy of “I need to try harder…”
How people set themselves up for failure
It’s not your fault
What actually works
Persuading the boss
Part II. How much should I do?
Where do I start?
Informed radical change
Ridiculously small change
Small change
What about goals?
How much should I do?
Part III. Tools to guarantee your success
The harnessing motivation technique
Powerful triggers
Essential joy!
Rocking the boat
Work with your barriers
What does it all mean for me?
Part IV. Practice makes perfect
Still self-Whipping?
How to believe in yourself
Doing better than 90% of people
The finish line

Resources
Index
About the author
“I guess I don't so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old.”
- Benjamin Franklin
FOREWORD
“What would be the costs if I let this trend continue?” I asked myself.
I answered honestly. “I would keep worsening my diet, exercise less and
less, and eventually end up very unhealthy and fat.”
It was 2010 when I realized that in the previous 2 years, while I was a
graduate student at Stanford University, I had put on 15 pounds (6.8 kg). This
increase did not just happen without a reason: I was gradually worsening my
diet, eating more and more in restaurants rather than cooking at home, while at
the same time my exercise habits were yo-yoing. Some weeks I would go to the
gym twice, others I wouldn’t go at all. Sometimes I would even go three times.
But with eating out and increasing my portions… gym or no gym, my body had
no choice but to start storing fat.
Now I wasn’t fat. I was average. Thanks to years of exercising in the past,
my body was not flabby – yet. However, I had definitely spotted a trend. I knew
that if I let it continue then it would only be a matter of time until I…
…woke up fat, and saw myself in the mirror and could only think: “Is that
really me? How did that happen?”
Well, this is how it happens. Insidiously. Year after year, pounds creep in,
one by one, sometimes retreating for a while, but always building up. Until at
some point we wake up and decide to do something about it.
Which is what I did. I asked myself:
“What do I want in my life?”
The only answer that came to me was: “I want to live a long and vital life. I
want to evolve into a grandma who does not get knocked down by her
grandkids.”
And to achieve that, I decided to change my lifestyle, to improve it. No, I
didn’t want to lose weight. I felt ok being 15 pounds heavier than I had been. I
looked fine. I was still average. But I did want to stop the bad trend that I had
ignited. I wanted to step off the path before I ended up somewhere I couldn’t
turn back from. I wanted to live healthier. If becoming a vital grandma was
important to me, then I had to align my values with my actions.
I just didn’t know where to start or how to do it.

Two years later, I am eating vegetables daily, cooking at home, and
consistently exercising 5 days a week. Oh, and I am 15 pounds lighter without
having gone through a diet. Losing weight was a natural side-effect of living a
healthier lifestyle.
And it’s not just that. Yes, I lost 15 pounds, but I’m now actually slimmer
than I was the last time I weighed this little. I never took measurements, but my
tightest jeans tell the tale. I could hardly fit into them before I put on weight; I
could not even dream of fitting into them after I put on the weight; but now that I
am back to my original weight I fit into them just great. Yes, that’s exactly what
happens when you exercise.
No, the change did not happen overnight. However, once I got started with
one step, it was only a matter of time. Another step would follow, sooner or later.

My desire to act in a way that reflected what I believed sprouted a new
desire: to learn more about exercise and healthy eating. Soon enough I found
myself holding a certification as a personal trainer – something that as an
engineer struck me as really weird. Engineers don’t tend to become personal
trainers. Yet, I was doing it for myself. I had to learn how to take better care of
myself. But the journey did not stop there. I started observing people more. I
thought about my past actions more. Questions rose up in my mind: “Why do
people feel guilty when they eat a candy? Why do even thin people feel guilty?”
“Why do people yo-yo and seem to be unable to stick to exercise or living
healthier?”
“Why do people lose weight, only to get it back afterwards?”
“Why is changing our habits so hard?”
Of course, I was one of those people. In 2007 I was in the best shape of my
life, strong enough to do a number of pull-ups without help. In 2010, after 2
years of yo-yoing, I couldn’t even do one. It took me months of consistent
exercising to manage the same number of pull-ups once again.
“What would have happened if I did not yo-yo, but had instead just
maintained my previous physical shape? Where would I be now?” I asked
myself.
I don’t know the answer.
What I knew was that Confucius was right: “It does not matter how slow you
go as long as you do not stop.”

I do like learning. A lot. I have a 5-year engineering diploma (which is like a
bachelor’s degree and a master’s combined), another master’s degree in
engineering, and an MBA. Call me a nerd if you will, but I do like learning.
So when I have questions, I investigate.
Why is it so hard for people to do the right thing, e.g., eat better and exercise
more?
The easy answer would be that people are lazy. Maybe some of them are.
But maybe not. Looking deeper, I discovered a whole new world that is around
us and that affects us, and yet of which we have no idea.
No, people are not lazy. Well, perhaps a small percentage are, but most
people who want to eat better or exercise more and don’t do so are not lazy. And
yes, they do “want it badly enough”. They just don’t know how to make it
happen.
Conventional wisdom talks about “doing your best”, “giving it all you’ve
got”, “no pain no gain”, or “just do it”. It sounds so simple. Yet people don’t do
it. Or they do it once, or twice, but this is pretty much it. Then they feel guilty
for not following through. Is that all there is?
Do people have to suffer to get results, and then suffer some more if they
don’t want to lose them? So, lack of suffering = no results?
Is this the only way?
My research suggests that there is another way, thankfully. No, you don’t
have to suffer to make healthier living happen and to stick with it. You just need
to be strategic. Stay with me and you’ll soon learn how.

WHY YOU NEED THIS BOOK
This book is about transformation. You will be transforming yourself into a
more confident, energetic you. I won’t tell you what diet to follow or what
exercise program is best for you. I won’t talk about the fastest way to lose
weight, or what exercises are safe for your injured knees. What I am going to
talk about is how to create healthy habits that stick.
You see, way too many people make New Year’s Resolutions they ’ ll have
forgotten by the first week of February. Way too many people have problems
with their weight going up…and down…up…and down. And most
importantly…way too many people think of eating right or of exercising as a
chore, as something they need to do that limits their choices, and is very, very
restrictive.
I spent more than a year reading academic papers on how our brain codes
habits. What I found left me delighted: creating the right habits, making exercise
or healthy eating automatic, can be done without you suffering along the way.
You will be able to make living healthier non-negotiable, not because you
prohibit yourself from negotiating with yourself, but because you no longer feel
the need to debate whether you will go to the gym that night or whether you
should skip that pizza for a salad…
Some people advise that you “make it a priority”. Well, for many of us this is
easier said than done! But this book will teach you what to do to make it a
priority – again, without restricting yourself, without feeling bad for yourself,
without judging your progress every step of the way. Our brain may be stubborn
about repeating the same bad habits again and again, yet rewiring it into making
healthy choices again and again is achievable and can actually be pleasurable!
And if you wire it right, then that stubborn brain will insist on you repeating
those healthy routines…again and again.
Once you make healthy eating or exercise a habit…it will stay with you. You
won’t just eat healthy for 3 months and then fall back to your old habits. You
won’t quit the gym in two or five months. If you get started with the right
foundation you will find that building a healthier lifestyle gets easier and
easier…and that lifestyle is strong!
NAVIGATING THROUGH THE CHAPTERS
I have broken this book in 4 parts. In Part I you will learn the science behind
how our brain works. You will learn what makes you do what you do, why you
quit the gym after a month, and what to do to create healthy habits that actually
stick. Wondering why you cannot “just do it”? In Part I you will understand why.
In Part II we will discuss how much you should do to get the results you
want and code those healthy habits in your brain. Imagine it as a walk in a
restaurant. That restaurant has options. You can take an appetizer, an entrée, or
their 4-course dinner option. All options satisfy your hunger; it’s up to you
which one to choose. But you need to know the differences between your
options, as they are not immediately obvious. And those differences may not be
what you think.
Part III is your toolkit. This is where you ’ ll find the techniques you need to
actually craft that healthy living strategy, ranging from making the best of your
motivation to removing your barriers, or remembering to…pat yourself on the
back for every small win, and many more. You will learn why making yourself
accountable can be both a blessing and a curse. By the end of Part III, you will
have a solid understanding of what you need to do to wire the right habits…and
enjoy the process at the same time.
In Part IV you will cover habits that…require practice. Being gentle with
yourself needs practice, as judging ourselves is a deeply ingrained habit. Making
decisions based on actual evidence rather than platitudes is another habit that
needs practice. And the ultimate practice of all? Building our authority and self-
confidence. In Part IV you have no other choice than to realize the magnitude of