Skilled interpersonal communication : research, theory, and practice

553 Pages·3.682 MB·xii, 542 p. : ill\553

by  Owen Hargie, David Dickson

Skilled interpersonal communication
Fourth edition
Skilled interpersonal
communication
Research, theory and practice
Fourth edition
Owen Hargie and
David Dickson

LONDON AND NEW YORK
First published 2004 by Routledge
27 Church Road, Hove, East Sussex,
BN3 2FA
Simultaneously published in the
USA and Canada
by Routledge
29 West 35th Street, New York, NY
10001
Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group
This edition published in the Taylor & Francis e-Library, 2005.
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© 2004 Owen Hargie and David
Dickson
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or reproduced or utilised in any form or
by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including
photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without permission
in writing from the publishers.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
Library of Congress Cataloging Publication Data
Hargie, Owen.
Skilled interpersonal
communication : research, theory, and
practice / by Owen Hargie and David
Dickson.—[Rev. and updated ed.].
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references
and index.
1. Interpersonal communication.
ISBN 0-415-22719-4 (hbk)
ISBN 0-415-22720-8 (pbk)
I. Dickson, David, 1950–.
II. Title.
BF637.C45 H33 2003
302.3′4–dc21 2002153984
ISBN 0-203-42788-2 Master e-book ISBN
ISBN 0-203-44253-9 (Adobe eReader Format)
ISBN 0-415-22719-4 (hbk)
ISBN 0-415-22720-8 (pbk)
For our late colleague, co-author and dear friend, Christine
Saunders
Contents
List of figures vi
List of boxes vii
Preface to the fourth edition ix
1 Introduction: the importance of interpersonal skills 1
2 Interpersonal communication: a skill-based model 10
3 Nonverbal communication 42
4 Rewarding and reinforcing 81
5 Questioning 114
6 Reflecting 147
7 Listening 169
8 Explaining 196
9 Self-disclosure 221
10 Set induction and closure 257
11 Assertiveness 289

12 Influence and persuasion 324
13 Negotiating 370
14 Groups and group interaction 401
15 Concluding comments 439
Bibliography 443
Name index 498
Subject index 510
Figures
2.1 Skill model of interpersonal communication 22
3.1 Facial expressions and emotional states 66
3.2 Types of task and seating arrangements 72
3.3 Seating arrangements and interaction 73
3.4 Office designs communicating power 76
5.1 Types of questioning sequence 124
7.1 Selective perception process 174
7.2 Basic model of listening 177
7.3 Extended model of listening 178
7.4 Obstacles to listening 189
8.1 The ‘5-Ps’ model of explaining 205
9.1 Types of self 222
9.2 The Johari window 243
11.1 Sequential model of the assertion decision-making process 292
11.2 The assertion-affiliation matrix 300
11.3 Four styles of responding 302
11.4 The aggression-assertion matrix 303
12.1 Persuasive communication: process and outcomes 328
12.2 Sequential model of persuasion 334
12.3 Five steps to successful persuasion 336
13.1 The negotiation decision tree 375
13.2 Example of target and resistance points in negotiation 380
14.1 Communication networ ks 422
Boxes
2.1 Mr Topman keeps in touch 11
2.2 Examples of patronising communication with the elderly 28
3.1 Purposes of nonverbal communication 49
3.2 Types of nonverbal communication 55
4.1 Everyday examples of reinforcement 81
4.2 Consequences of behaviour 89
4.3 Types of positive reinforcement 89
4.4 Effects of social rewards and reinforcers 94
4.5 Intrinsic rewards have it 104
5.1 Excerpt from the OJ Simpson trial 118
5.2 Functions of questioning 119
5.3 Orkney satanic abuse crisis 136
5.4 Examples of questioning by lawyers 141
6.1 Strangers on a train: scene I 147
6.2 Strangers on a train: scene II 148
6.3 Functions of reflecting 155
6.4 Jeremy, Rebecca and the party that went wrong 157
6.5 Examples of reflecting feeling 162
7.1 Benefits of effective listening 170
7.2 Functions of listening 172
7.3 Four types of listener 181
7.4 Blocking tactics to listening 191
7.5 Nonverbal signs of list ening 193
8.1 Examples of types of explanation 200
8.2 The Socratic technique 201
8.3 Functions of explaining 203
8.4 Ten ways to be dysfluent 211
8.5 Being precise about vagueness 214
9.1 Dimensions of self: two examples 221
9.2 Three ‘sides’ to place identity 223
9.3 Advantages of counsellor disclosure 237
10.1 Functions of set induction 260
10.2 Handshake variations 265
10.3 Functions of closure 278
10.4 Nonverbal closure indicators 279
10.5 Techniques for circumventing the interrupted closure 283
11.1 Negative and positive assertion 290
viii
11.2 Functions of assertiveness 291
11.3 Elaboration components in assertion statements 308
11.4 Gender differences in language 313
11.5 Individualist and collectivist cultural differences 317
12.1 The six main purposes of persuasion 326
12.2 Reverse psychology methods for overcoming resistance 331
12.3 Negative and positive mood and persuasion 337
12.4 The three Ts of expert power 344
12.5 Advantages of humour in persuasion 348
12.6 Foot-in-the-door conditions 355
12.7 Door-in-the-face conditions 356
12.8 Types of moral appeal 361
12.9 Motivations for volunteerism 365
12.10 Summary of the main persuasion tactics 368
13.1 Functions of negotiation 374
13.2 The seven rules for win-win negotiations 377
13.3 Some variations in negotiations across cultures 383
13.4 Pointers for making concessions 390
14.1 Common types of small group 403
14.2 Advantages of group cohesion 413
14.3 Avoiding groupthink 414
14.4 How to spot a team 417
14.5 Interaction process analysis categories 419
Preface to the fourth edition
The contribution of effective interpersonal communication to success in both
personal and professional contexts is now widely recognised. This topic is studied in
its own right on many further and higher education programmes. Interpersonal
training programmes have also been reported in the literature for every professional
group, and the contribution of communication to social and personal well-being has
been well researched. It is clear that the ability to communicate effectively at an
interpersonal level is a vital part of the human condition. As such, knowledge of
various types of skills, and of their effects in social interaction, is crucial for
interpersonal functioning. It is for this reason that interest in the study of skilled
communication has mushroomed in the past few years.
The present text emerged from our earlier book Social skills in interpersonal
communication. It is eight years since the third edition of this book was published, and
during this time we have received a considerable amount of feedback from tutors and
trainees involved in interpersonal skills programmes, as well as from practising
professionals. The result of this feedback has developed and shaped the current text.
For example, the term ‘social skill’ tends to predominate within clinical contexts and
in developmental/elementary educational fields. In academic and professional
spheres, the more common usage now tends to be ‘interpersonal skill’ or
‘communication skill’ (Dickson et al., 1997). The changed title of this new edition

reflects the fact that its heartland lies in the academic domain of interpersonal
communication, as applied to higher-order contexts. It also reflects the fact that the
treatment of skill in the book encompasses a comprehensive review of research
findings and analyses of theoretical perspectives, as well as direct applications to
practice in a range of social settings.
The function of the book is to provide a key reference for the study of
interpersonal communication per se. It is concerned with the identification, analysis
and evaluation of a range of skills that are employed widely in interaction. As such,
this text will be of interest both to students of interpersonal communication in general,
and to qualified personnel and trainees in many fields in particular. Detailed accounts
are provided of fourteen areas, namely: nonverbal communication; reinforcement;
questioning; reflecting, listening; explaining; self-disclosure; set induction; closure;
assertiveness; influencing; negotiating; and interacting in, and leading, group
discussions.