Not Trying: Infertility, Childlessness, and Ambivalence

214 Pages·2014·0.76 MB·English

by  Kristin J Wilson

Infertility,
Childlessness,
and
Ambivalence
Kristin J. Wilson
NOT TRYING

NOT
TRYING
INFERTILITY,
CHILDLESSNESS, AND
AMBIVALENCE
KRISTIN J. WILSON
vanderbilt university press
Nashville
© 2014 by Vanderbilt University Press
Nashville, Tennessee 37235
All rights reserved
First printing 2014
This book is printed on acid-free paper.
Manufactured in the United States of America
Book and cover design by Rich Hendel
Composition by E.T. Lowe, Nashville, TN
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file
LC control number 2014007695
LC classification number hq755.8.w544 2014
Dewey class number 306.87—dc23
isbn 978-0-8265-1996-2 (cloth)
isbn 978-0-8265-1997-9 (paperback)
isbn 978-0-8265-1998-6 (ebook)
CONTENTS
Acknowledgments vii
1 ENTERING OTHERHOOD 1
2 CONCEIVING STRATIFICATION 19
3 MOTHERHOOD FROM THE MARGINS 39
4 INDECISIONS 74
5 ASCRIBED MOTHERHOOD 101
6 REALIZATIONS 117
7 INTERVENTIONS 138
8 FROM MANDATE TO OPTION 168
Appendix 178
References 181
Index 195

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
My name is on this book and any errors inside are my own. But
many people helped me complete it. If it were a movie, the cred-
its would roll on and on. I first have to thank the women willing
to take the time to share their thoughts and feelings with me.
Without them there would be no book. My mentor and dear
friend, Wendy Simonds, guided and supported me from begin-
ning to end. I extend deep appreciation to my editor, Michael
Ames, for his thoughtful feedback and patient tutelage. Thank
you very much to the anonymous reviewers, to Ralph LaRossa,
and to Elisabeth Burgess for their comments, which helped me
improve the manuscript. My home institutions, Cabrillo Col-
lege and Georgia State University, provided material support.
Seline Szkupinski-Quiroga, another scholar working on this
topic, kindly provided some key early advice about participant
recruitment. Scholars from the History of Consciousness De-
partment at the University of California–Santa Cruz welcomed
me into their writing group and read some of the chapters, pro-
viding useful insights.
At the beginning of this project, I was fully immersed in fer-
tility treatment. My then partner and I eventually gave up and
pursued adoption. After a year-long training and home-study
period, we took home a baby boy through the California fost-
adopt program. Thirteen months later, his birth mother relin-
quished another newborn, our son’s brother. Evan and Leo are
now six and five, respectively, and I have been working on this
book their entire lives. This was made possible by the nurturing
childcare provided by Adriana Castillo and the staff of Casa de
( vii )
Aprendizaje, by Ashley George of Honalee Children’s Center,
and by Lupe Cortes, Heather Elrick-Forbes, and all the staff at
Cabrillo Children’s Center.
Many friends, family, and colleagues provided emotional
support, but I especially want to thank Mary Arterburn, An-
thony Garcia, Paul Conte, Meredith Marine, Allison Gonzalez,
Rebecca Green, Meadow Gibbons, Karinn Pearson, Melissa
Workman, Jackie Logg, Raneta Pomroy, Chuck Smith, the
“Cruzmoms,” and Mom and Dad.
( viii ) NOT TRYING
NOT TRYING