No Lifeguard on Duty: The Accidental Life of the World's First Supermodel

399 Pages·2002·2.67 MB·English

by  Janice Dickinson

JANICE DICKINSON
For my children, Nathan and Savvy,

whose unflagging zest for life and humor

are a wonder and inspiration to me.

With love forever, your mom.

And

to my glorious sisters, Alexis and Debbie,

for showing me the way.

b
CONTENTS

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
Acknowledgments v

Prologue 1

Meet the Parents 6

Crosstown Traffic 25

Freedom 44

Woke Up This Mornin’ 66

The Girls in the Attic 81

Milano 108

The Good Daughter 134

Model Wars 149

Love’s a Bitch 172

Party Girl 180

Making It? 193

The Music Man 221

Rehabbing at the Rehab 248

The Good Nun 258

City of Angels 274

Return of the Rat Bastard 287

Better Living Through Chemistry 294

Divorce Wars 302

Bam Ham Slam 311

Hide Your Head in the Sand, Little Girl 323

On My Own 341

Clean and Sober 361

Family 367

Index 378
About the Author
Praise
Cover
Copyright
About the Publisher
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
To:
Mr. Simon Fields and his devoted wife, the talented
Melanie Apple. Thank you, Simon, for the greatest boy that
ever lived.
Mr. Michael Birnbaum and family. Michael, thank you
for the most precious jewel in the entire universe.
Christian Straub, for inspiration, whimsical genius, and
all the love in this and the next life.
Mr. Thomas O’Sullivan, the Rock of Gibraltar.
Mr. Liam for structuring my words on computer.
Mr. John Pearson for continuously bailing me out of
trouble.
For:
Cal Morgan, my undying gratitude forever for polish
and sparkle and keeping it real. Thank you. Yo! P.Lo, the
artist of artists, the real writer, that goes without saying.
You’re the Lord. Thank you. The entire staff at Regan-
Books, especially Paul Olsewski, Cassie, Carl, Kurt, Joyce,
Conor, Liz, Dan, Tom, and Evan. Last and first, to Judith
Regan, the one and only. This book happened a long time
ago and without your insight and vision it wouldn’t have
been possible. You were there all along. Thank you.
Thanks to (in complete random order):
Mike Cestari, the greatest screenwriter. Period. Odet
Bahat for just being cool. Page Jenkins for his guidance
VI ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
and knowledge throughout the years. Michael and Ran­
dolyn Foster. The Thacker family, especially Susan for her
guidance. Ted Field. My longest and dearest friend, Eric
Salter. Lionel George, The Great. Barbara Malone and
Reed. Djody Situan. Aida Thiabant. Suzanne Hughes. Ron
Galotti. Tony Peck, for always being there. The Naudet
family, especially Jean Jacques. Peter Knapp and Odile at
Elle. Kodgi Toyoda for the most amazing hair in the world.
Period. Leslie Kawamura. Yuki, Goro, and Chin. My friend
Chad, who also does the raddest hair in the universe.
Dr. Jon Perlman. Dr. Steven Hoeflin. Dr. John Joseph
for incredible Botox. Dr. Frank Ryan, surgeon to the stars
and the Bony Pony Ranch. Dr. Uzzi Reiss and his lovely
wife, Yael, for the delivery of both my children. Without
you I would have been nothing, except a dead racehorse.
My gynecologist’s son, Jacob Reiss. Dr. Ed Kantor and Joe
and Odette Sugarman. Dr. Mark Saginor; Dr. James Grot-
stein; Dr. Josh Trabulous; Dr. Cohen.
Howard Stern and Robin for keeping me going every
morning since you’ve been on the air.
The Beverly Glen Pharmacy, especially Sue and Mark.
The Beverly Glen Cleaners. The Beverly Glen Deli, espe­
cially George and Karen. Thanks for not spitting in the
food. In loving memory of Rita from the Smile Skin Care
Salon. Thanks for your warmth and kindness. Mr. Chris
Smith at Sierra Leasing, thank you. Book Soup, especially
Glen and Andrea. Robert at Solarium. L.A. Cellular phone;
Alex and his spirited brother.
Azzedine Alaia. Donatella Versace. Paul Beck. Angelo.
Valentino. Calvin Klein. Carlos deSouza. Diane Von
Furstenerg. Michael Kors. Thierry Mugler. Jean Paul
Gaulthier. Kenzo. Issey Miyake. Karl Lagerfeld. Chanel
Chanel Chanel. Manolo Blahnik for my entire life’s shoe
fetish.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS VII
Richard Avedon and Justin White. Stan Schaefer. Stan
Malinowski. Phillip Dixon. Veronique Vial. Albert Watson.
Norma Stevens. Arthur Elgort and Marianne. Paul at Flesh-
tone Labs and his lovely Isabel Snyder. The Great Davis
Factor. Mr. Gille Ben-Simon. Peter Beard and Najma. Bill
King and Janet McClelland. Francesco Scavullo and Sean
Byrnes. Hiro and Pieta at Hiro Studio. Patrick DeMarche­
lier. Michael Reinhardt for all your photography guidance
and help with this book.
Lauren Hutton. Christine Peters. Jon Peters. Brooke
Shields. Warren Beatty. Mick Jagger. Matthew Modine.
Michael Fuchs. Steve Bing. He put the “R” in RICH. Mark
Abell of Critical Mass. David Giler. Iman. Patti Hansen.
Rosie Vela. Esme. Beverly Johnson. Cheryl Tiegs. Kevin
Barry. Rene Russo. Jack Osbourne for his advice and the
only Ozzfest tickets for Nathan.
Rod Stewart, thank you for Maggie May.
Muddy Waters. Way Bandy, the most incredible make­
up guru ever. Suga, may you be wedging in heaven forever.
Gia Carangi—a true light angel, not a dark angel as she has
been depicted. John Belushi. Frank Zappa. Perry Ellis.
Barry McKinley. Billy Tsutsos. Joe MacDonald. Paul
Gobel. Gianni Versace, may you forever rule. Ariella. May
you all rest in peace.
Harry King. Sandy Linter. George Pipisick and Santa
Monica Bodybuilding. Thank you for keeping my ass off
the back of my kneecaps. The Pain Management Clinic,
especially Dr. Tom Marinaro. Judy Townsend. Wendy
Gralnick. Monique Pillard, for her years of service. Patrice
Casanova. Jacques Malignon. Guy. Dominique and
Jacques Silverstein. Lorraine Bracco. Ron Levy. Jeanne
Damon-Levy. Al Gersten. Jon Sahag.
Russ, Cynthia, and Shannon Berri. The Haskell Family.
Grace and Matthew Morton. Linda Wells. Suzanne
VIII ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Schwartz at Glamour. Diana Vreeland. Grace Coddington.
Anna Wintour. Andre Leon Talley. Myrna Blyth and
Alanna. Phillipe from Ford Models. Lois Joy Johnson and
Thea. The Elite Agency, N.Y. and L.A. Katie Herrera for
not stealing my underwear. Mr. Ish Moran at Maha Yoga.
Rita of Rita Flora. Pepe and Clarissa Moreno and family.
Freddy Leiba. Maury Hopson. Ben Dickinson. Alec
Sorkin. Adam Glassman.
Jimmy Rip, who got me sober, thank you with all my
heart and life. Rick O’Shea (aka Mark Abramson) for
being the most fabulous PR guru in the universe. Mr.
Edward Tricomi. Steve and Michel Kerner. Mr. Harry
Sloan. Miss Morgan Brown and Will. My entire Polish
family. Daniella and Fabio Belotti. Dr. Francesco
Colombo. Edwardo and Hilde Poli. Bill Bloch. Francesco
Gamero and Eli Rivera at You-Wash Doggy. Lydia Umano.
Marie Scoedeller. Chris Royer. Jon Fawcett and the guys at
76th Station. Anne Kelly for skin. Kevin Barry. Chad, for
taking over where Way Bandy and Kevin Aucoin left off.
Suzy Weiss. Tracy Tweed. Bruno and Winston. Dave and
Raphael. David Giler. Deborah Wachine.
Thank you to Vicky Felmar, Liza Sperling, and the
Warner Star Program for keeping my daughter truly bal­
anced. Thank you to all of the aftercare at the school, the
Warner Avenue teachers, and the Warner Avenue School.
The Curtis School. Mont Clare Prep School. Mrs. Terada.
Lori Saunders. And Mrs. Kirshner. The Ungers, Mulberry
Street Pizza, and Mr. Richie Palmer for the best slice this
side of the Mississippi River. Broadway gym for lending
expertise and gymnastics knowledge and support to Savvy
and all the kids on Saturday mornings.
Thanks to AA and everyone who ever walks through the
door for allowing me the true support (notwithstanding the
Wonderbra), solution, encouragement, and hope.