Men and Women in Interaction: Reconsidering the Differences

301 Pages·1996·16.85 MB·English

by  Elizabeth Aries

Men and Women in Interaction
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Men and Women
in Interaction
Reconsidering the Differences
Elizabeth Aries
New York Oxford
OXFORD UNIVERSITY PRESS
1996
Oxford University Press
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Copyright (c) 1996 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Published by Oxford University Press, Inc.
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All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Aries, Elizabeth.
Men and women in interaction : reconsidering the differences /
Elizabeth Aries.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-19-509469-7; ISBN 0-19-510358-0 (pbk.)
1. Interpersonal communication. 2. Sex differences (Psychology)
3. Stereotype (Psychology) 4. Feminist psychology. I. Title.
BF637.C45A79 1996 95-9300
305.3—dc20
9 8 7 6 5 4 32
Printed in the United States of America
on acid-free paper
To my husband,
Richard Berman,
and my children,
Joshua and Anna
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Preface
There are certain widely held beliefs about gender differences in
the interaction styles of men and women: women are expressive,
responsive, supportive, and concerned with intimacy and connec-
tion, whereas men are task oriented, dominant, and concerned with
status and independence. Many have drawn attention to the opposi-
tion between male and female styles, and gender differences in inter-
action have been portrayed as absolute differences. I've written this
book because there is another story about men and women in inter-
action inherent in the research literature that needs to be told, a
story that calls into question these popular conceptions.
We arrive at another understanding of gender differences in con-
versational interaction by reorganizing our thinking around five
questions. These are not new questions; feminists have posed them
repeatedly over the past two decades. First, how different are the
interaction styles of men and women—that is, what is the magni-
tude of the difference between men and women we are talking
about? There are many statistically significant gender differences in
interaction style, but most are small in magnitude; gender generally
accounts for less than 10% of the variance in social behavior. Thus,
knowledge of a person's gender gives us little ability to predict
behavior in many contexts. Men do not form a homogeneous group,
nor do women. There is considerable variability in the interaction
styles of members of the same sex because of differences in person-
ality, age, race, class, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. By placing our
focus on how men as a group differ from women as a group, we tend
to overlook the variability of behavior between members of the same
viii Preface
sex, and we tend to portray small group differences as mutually
exclusive differences.
Can the differences we perceive between men and women be
accounted for by other variables that co-vary with gender, like social
roles or status? We have made many comparisons of the behavior of
men and women, but too often we have mistakenly treated gender as
the explanation for differences when other variables have not been
properly controlled. We have a division of labor that allocates differ-
ent work and responsibilities to men and women. Women tend to
interact in more roles that elicit supportive, cooperative behavior,
men in roles that elicit dominant, directive behavior. People who
have power and status behave differently than subordinates. We are
likely to perceive many gender differences in our daily lives because
we observe men and women in different roles and statuses, and
because we tend to underestimate the importance of social roles in
shaping behavior. Only when we control variables like status or
social role can we begin to untangle the influence of gender on
behavior. When men and women are placed in the same role or are
given the same legitimate authority, many gender differences in
behavior are mitigated.
To what extent do gender differences depend on the situational
context of the interaction? Sex-related differences are variable in
appearance; we find them in some situational contexts but not oth-
ers. The characteristics of the participants in an interaction (e.g.,
their age, race, class), their task, their relationship to each other, the
interaction setting, the topic of conversation, and the length of the
encounter all influence the degree to which men and women display
different styles of interaction. For example, men do not always
assume leadership in groups; they are most likely to emerge as lead-
ers when people meet as strangers in short encounters and when the
task they must perform draws on skills or interests that are more
typically associated with men. When women have been assigned to
a leadership role and given equal power, competence, or legitimacy
with men, there are few gender differences in leadership behavior.
Have we correctly assigned meaning to the behaviors we study?
In analyzing conversational interaction, researchers make assump-
tions about the meanings of behaviors. For example, many have
assumed that interruptions indicate dominance, and they have
drawn conclusions about male dominance from the use of interrup-
tions. Interruptions, however, may also be used to convey confirma-
tion and rapport. Similarly, many researchers have taken tag ques-
tions to convey hesitancy and uncertainty. Tag questions lie midway
Preface ix
between a statement and a question (e.g., "You're coming at noon,
aren't you?). However, speakers may also use tag questions to express
solidarity and facilitate interaction. Many researchers have con-
cluded that men express dominance and women express tentative-
ness in their speech. But they have based these conclusions on
incorrect assumptions about the meaning of the behaviors under
consideration.
Finally, to what extent do stereotypes shape our perceptions and
evaluations of speakers? We immediately recognize participants in
interaction as male or female, and this knowledge leads us to form
expectations about what participants are like and how they will
behave based on their gender. We bend our perceptions in the dir-
ection of stereotyped expectations, overlooking things that are not
expected and seeing things that are not there. We perceive men and
women who display identical behavior differently in accordance with
gender stereotypes, and we respond to and evaluate them differently.
My aim in writing this book is to make people more skeptical of
the popularized beliefs about gender differences in the interaction
styles of men and women. Also, I want to bring into focus the indi-
vidual and situational variability in behavior that is revealed by
research on gender and interaction. Men and women are capable of
displaying both masculine and feminine styles of interaction, and the
style they display depends on their status, role, gender identity, and
interaction goals, as well as on a variety of other situational vari-
ables. Stereotyped beliefs have the power to become self-fulfilling
prophecies for behavior. The stronger our belief in gender differ-
ences, the more firmly we will keep current gender arrangements in
place, arrangements that afford greater opportunities and privileges
to men.
March 1995 E. A.
Amherst, Massachusetts