Living with the Enemy: Coping with the stress of chronic illness using CBT, mindfulness and acceptance

241 Pages·2013·4.32 MB·English

by  Ray Owen

Living with the Enemy
‘This isn’t living, this is just existing.’
A long-term physical health condition – a chronic illness,
or even a disability – can take over your existence. Battling
against the effects of the condition can take so much of
your time and energy that it feels as if the rest of your life is
‘on hold’.
The physical symptoms of different conditions will vary, as
will the way you manage them. But the kinds of psychological
stress the situation brings are common to lots of long-term
health problems: worry about the future, sadness about what
has been lost, frustration at changes, guilt about being a
burden, friction with friends and family. You can lose your
sense of purpose, and wonder ‘What’s the point?’ Trapped in
a war against your own illness, every day is just about the
battle, and it can seem impossible to fi nd achievement and
fulfi lment in life if the condition cannot be cured.
It doesn’t have to be like that.
Using the latest developments in cognitive behavioural
therapy (CBT), which emphasise mindfulness and acceptance,
and including links to downloadable audio exercises and
worksheets, this book will show you how you can live better
despite your long-term condition.
It will teach you to spot the ways of coping that haven’t been
working for you, how to make sure that troubling thoughts
and unwanted feelings don’t run your life, how to make sense
of the changes in your circumstances, how to make the most
of today and work towards a future that includes more of the
things that matter to you.
If you stop fi ghting a losing battle, and instead learn how to
live well with the enemy, then – even with your long-term
condition – you’ll fi nd yourself not simply existing but really
living again.
Dr Ray Owen is a clinical psychologist working in cancer
and palliative care for the NHS in Herefordshire. He has
worked in hospital, community and hospice settings for the
past 20 years.
Downloadable audio exercises and resources are available at:
www.routledgementalhealth.com/9780415521208
Living with the Enemy
Coping with the stress of
chronic illness using CBT,
mindfulness and acceptance
Ray Owen
Routledge
Taylor & Francis Group
LONDON AND NEW YORK
First published 2014
by Routledge
2 Park Square, Milton Park, Abingdon, Oxon OX14 4RN
and by Routledge
711 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10017
Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business
© 2014 Ray Owen
The right of Ray Owen to be identifi ed as author of this work has been asserted by
him in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act
1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or reproduced or utilised in
any form or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter
invented, including photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or
retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publishers.
Trademark notice: Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered
trademarks, and are used only for identifi cation and explanation without intent to
infringe.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data
Owen, Ray, 1964-
Living with the enemy : coping with the stress of chronic illness using cbt,
mindfulness and acceptance / Ray Owen. -- First Edition.
pages cm
Includes bibliographical references.
1. Stress (Psychology) 2. Cognitive therapy. 3. Mindfulness-based cognitive
therapy. I. Title.
BF575.S75O94 2013
155.9’16--dc23
2013005513
ISBN: 978-0-415-52119-2 (hbk)
ISBN: 978-0-415-52120-8 (pbk)
ISBN: 978-0-203-79797-6 (ebk)
Typeset in New Century Schoolbook and Frutiger
by Saxon Graphics Ltd, Derby
Dedication
To all the people who have encouraged and supported
me over the years.
To my family, who do that more than anyone.
And to the memory of my parents, who did that fi rst.
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Contents
List of fi gures ix
List of exercises xi
Preface xiii
Acknowledgements xvii
1 Knowing the enemy 1
2 Getting stuck in the struggle 15
3 Troubling thoughts 35
4 Unwanted feelings 61
5 Living in the present 85
6 Who am I now? A sense of Self 107
7 Living with purpose 133
8 Taking action 153
9 Putting it together 181
10 Conclusion 187
Appendix 1 191
Appendix 2 205
Further reading 207
References 211
Index 219
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List of fi gures
2.1 ‘Hot cross bun’ model of how people react 17
2.2 ‘Hot cross bun’ model of how people react 19
2.3 ‘Hot cross bun’ model of how people react 21
2.4 Example of ‘ways of coping and their effects’
from Exercise 2.3 31
4.1 Diary of emotions – example 66
4.2 Ways that avoiding unwanted feelings narrows
your life – example 68
4.3 Ways of making yourself feel better and their
effects – example 69
6.1 Aspects of yourself in the past and in the
present from Exercise 6.1 111
6.2 Aspects of Self in the past and in the
present – example 112
8.1. Personal Values and action from
Exercise 8.1 – example 159
8.2 Values and action plans from Exercise
8.2 – example 162
9.1 The ‘problem’ hexagon 183
9.2 The hexagon of ways forward 183
A1.1 When you might be working on different
exercises – example 191
A1.2 Example of ‘hot cross bun’ from Exercise 2.1 193
A1.3 ‘Hot cross bun’ model of how people react 194
A1.4 Ways of coping and their effects from
Exercise 2.3 195
A1.5 Experiences during Exercise 3.1 195
A1.6 Diary of emotions 196