Introverts in love : the quiet way to happily ever after

147 Pages·2015·1.29 MB·English

by  Dembling

Praise for
Introverts in Love
“Writing with her signature blend of wit and empathy, Sophia Dembling delivers
a quietly insightful guide to love and romance. Introverts in Love is the book for
anyone who has ever wrestled with the conflict between the wish to stay home
and the desire to go out and find a partner; the mutual attraction and occasional
friction between introverts and extroverts; and the comforts, charms, and
particular challenges of relationships between introverts. Most of all, it is a book
about the human capacity for love.”
—Susan Cain, cofounder of Quiet Revolution LLC and author of the New York Times bestseller Quiet: The
Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking
“Rich with stories from introverts in all stages of relationships and punctuated by
Sophia Dembling’s characteristic wit, Introverts in Love gives both seeking and
smitten introverts a feast for their thoughts. Whether the reader is stuck on how
to meet someone or troubleshooting a relationship conflict, Introverts in Love
artfully provides stories, ideas, options, and considerations without intruding on
or dominating the introvert’s process.”
—Laurie Helgoe, PhD, author of Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength
“Author Sophia Dembling speaks to the heart of the introvert love experience.
She carries the reader along with her characteristic honesty, humor, and
surprising research nuggets. Introverts and extroverts in, out of, or looking for
love will be grateful for this book.”
—Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, PhD, author of Quiet Influence and The Introverted Leader
“Sophia Dembling hit a home run with Introverts in Love, showing readers
specifically how to find a quiet way to happily-ever-after. She offers compelling
examples and useful how-to’s in this wonderfully accessible guide to your and
your loved one’s hearts. Dembling writes with depth and humor, while honoring
the value of relationships, the human spirit, and the how to make the jigsaw
puzzle of different personality types in a relationship fit.”
—Nancy Ancowitz, author of Self-Promotion for Introverts
“No matter where you are in your relationship—seeking, dating, or committed
—Introverts in Love offers wisdom and advice about how to share your life with
another person without compromising your wonderful introvert self. Dembling
writes with humor and heart, encouraging us to take a chance on letting someone
else into our inner sanctum. Nowhere else have I seen the ups and downs of
being an introvert in love so honestly and beautifully expressed!”
—Beth L. Buelow, ACC, founder of the Introvert Entrepreneur

A PERIGEE BOOK
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) LLC
375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014
USA • Canada • UK • Ireland • Australia • New Zealand • India • South Africa • China penguin.com
A Penguin Random House Company Copyright © 2015 by Sophia Dembling Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity,
encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book
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PERIGEE is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) LLC.
The “P” design is a trademark belonging to Penguin Group (USA) LLC.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Dembling, Sophia.
Introverts in love : the quiet way to happily ever after / Sophia Dembling.— First edition.
pages cm
ISBN 978-0-69815924-2
1. Introverts. 2. Interpersonal relations. 3. Dating (Social customs). 4. Courtship. 5. Man-woman relationships. I. Title.
BF698.35.I59D457 2015
158.2—dc23 2014040023
First edition: January 2015
While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers, Internet addresses, and other contact information at the
time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after
publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party
websites or their content.
Most Perigee books are available at special quantity discounts for bulk purchases for sales promotions, premiums, fund-raising, or
educational use. Special books, or book excerpts, can also be created to fit specific needs. For details, write:
[email protected].
Version_1
To Tom, who likes that I don’t talk much, and yet reminds me to finish my sentences when
necessary
Contents
Praise for Introverts in Love
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Introduction
Why Introverts in Love
PART I
To Get There, You Have to Know Where You’re Going
What Do You Want from a Relationship?
Birds of a Feather, or Opposites Attract?
Should You Seek an Introvert or an Extrovert?
Five Reasons Why Introverts Are Where It’s At
Five Reasons Why Extroverts Are Great to Date
Extroverts Sparkle, Introverts Glow
What You Bring to the Dating Game
Loving the One You’re With? Or Choosing the One You Love?
How Going with the Flow Can Get You into the Wrong Relationship
Get Out of Your Way
Ways We Might Let Our Introversion Trip Us Up
Time for Love, or Maybe Not
Making Space in Your Life for One More Person
One Isn’t Necessarily the Loneliest Number
Some People Are Meant to Be Single
PART II
Where Is Love? And How?
Meeting, Dating, Connecting
Just Say Yes
Because You Won’t Find Love in Your Living Room
Smile from the Inside Out
The Art of Appearing Approachable
People, People Everywhere
Opportunities to Connect in Everyday Life
Parties
Like It or Not, They Are Rife with Possibilities
The More the Maybe-er
The Potential in Group Activities
Love in Your Living Room
Dating in Cyberspace
Do You Hide Here Often?
How to Hit On an Introvert
Just Show Up
How to Hit On an Extrovert
Fear Not the First Date
Strategies for Easing the Anxiety of the First Time Out
For Best Results, Make a Plan
Setting the Stage for a Good First Date
Truth in Advertising
Putting Your Introversion Out There
Use Your Words!
What to Say When You Need Some Space
Red Flag, Red Flag, Red Flag!
Sometimes It’s Best to Just Walk Away
PART III
The Quiet Way to Happily Ever After
From Dating to a Relationship
I Love You but Please Don’t Call Me
Communicating About Communicating
Meet Me on the Couch
A Quiet Kind of Fun