Table Of Content--
com p te
u r
CopyrigMhatteedr ial
c o m p u t e r
edited bq
A�t&J 1)A.V�
TheM ITP ress
CambridgeM,a ssachusetts
and London,E ngland
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Second pr1in9t9in5g ,
© 1995M assachuIsnestttisot fuT teec hnology
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Thee dithoarsa ttempttote rda tchece o pyrihgohltdo efra ltlh e
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righhotl deirfps e rmistsoip ounb liisnth h ifso rhma sn obte en
obtainTehedc .o pyrihgohltds ehro uilndf otrhme edaintdho er ,
wilclo rrheicmsti staaksse o oans p ossible.
Thibso owka sd esigannedds eitn M acP ageMak5.e0br y A ndrew
Davisaonndp, r intaenddb ounidnt hUen itSetda toefAs m erica.
LibraorfCy o ngrCeasst aloging-in-DPautbal ication
HumouTrhe C omputIee rd itbeydA ndreDwa vison.
p. cm.
Inclubdiebsl iogrraepfheirceanlc es.
ISB0N- 262-54075-4
1.E lectrdoatnapi rco cessing--2.HC uommopru.t ers--Humor.
1.D avisAonnd,r ew.
PN6231.E41H98956 95-3065
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Contents
Preface. ...................................................................................................... xiii
MobyD ick2 .1.. ............................................................................................ 1
KennMe.tS ihezl doll
A Stan dard fotrh Ter ansmissoifIFo n D atagrams
onA vianC arriers. ............................3. .....................................................
DaviWda itzmall
A Problem in thMea king ...........................................................................5
DarrRyulb in
How IB oughtM y FirsCtom puter. .................7. .........................................
LarrRy. C ustead
BOFH (Part1 )... .......................................................................................... 10
SimoTnr avglaia
The GenerWiorcd P rocess...o...r.. ............................................................1 2
PhilipS chrodt
NaturalU pgradPea th.. ............................................................................1 7
ChristoLpihsehrka
The Casoef t hBeo gusEx per(tP ar1t). . ..................................................1 9
KriHsa mmond
OrdinarPye ople TelHlo w They UseT heiPre rsonCaolm puter...s... 20
LucinLdua ongo
Ia m theV ery Modelo fa GeniCuosm putatio..n...a...l... ......................2 2
JonatR.hP aanr tington
ZorkRAM,S andt heC ursoef R a:C omputo,e rgo sum. ..................... .22
CurStu plee
Laptop in Colompbuot sC ampbellin theS oup. ......................2..5.. ........
LaiS ee
MasterosfC omputeSrc ien.c..e... ............................................................2 6
Lindsay Marshall
You'Bd ettLoevreY ourB LANK Computer:
The GeneriCc omputBeoork .. .................................. ,. ..........2..7 . ............
DuncaMna ckenzie
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Contents
ShakespeoanrP er ogrammi..n...g... ......................................................... 29
MichaAe.lC ovillgton
EviAll ienCso ntrIolB M. ........................................................................... 30
FreddSym arm
MotheSrh oulHda veW arneYdo u.!. ................................3...3... .. ...............
PalBloln ner
BOFH (Par2t). .. .......................................................................................... 34
SimoTnr avaglia
LatetSs una ndI BMA nnouncemen.t..s.... ..............................................3 6
ChllcMkl lsciano
TwelWvaey st oF ootlh eM asseWhse n GivinPge rformanRcees ults
onP aralCloemlp ute..r...s.. .................................................................. 38
DaviHd. B ailey
TheC aseo ft heB oguEsx per(tP ar2t).. . ................................................4. 2
KriHsa mmond
ReaPlr ogrammeDrosn 'Uts eP asca...l... ................................................ 43
EdP ost
GateywT aoH eave.n. ..........................54. .....................................................
Ei/eTerno n%ne
Zena nd tAhreto fS oftwaDroec umentat..i....o..n... ............................. 55
W. C.C arlson
TheU nixP hiloso..p...h...y... ......................................................................5 7
Anonymous
FielRde placaMboluese B al..l....s.... ................... ...................................... 59
Anonymous
Babba- gTehe L anguagofet heF utur..e.... ............................................ 60
TonyK arp
GulliveCro'msp ute..r.... ........................................................................... 63
JonathSawni ft
"UnclBei lils"in theD riverS'esa .t..!.... .................................................. 65
Anonymous
BreathlSoecrkv iTcoeG o Companywid.e... ........................................... 66
Anonymous
ToM yD arlingH usba.n.d.. ........................................6...8... ........ .................
Anonymous
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. . .
Vlll
Contents
.. ........ . 69
Computer-baPsreedd ictWirviet i.n...g.. .. ................... .................
PeterD eJl.l lgl in
Makin g YourS erviceman FeeWle lcom e. ..............7..2 . ..............................
Anomnoyus
Man,B yets,D og. ......... .............................................................................. 7.3
JamGeosr man
MicroslosWhaeldl ..s... ............................................ ...................................7 6
Trygve Lode
TheT inM en. ............................................................................................... 77
MichaFerla yn
A Users VFirewo mT heT railEidngge ... ............................................... 8.2
WillEi.Ka oms t
. .. ...87
Lips:T heyM ay AlsoS ervWheo, DeclitnoeE nli.s..t.. ............. ... ...
RobeMr.tE aer
The Casoeft heB ogusE xpert( Pa3r)t.. .. ................................................ 88
KrisH ammond
AlternattioOv SeIs... . ................................................................................ 89
JocC.kS t M.a rtin
A Salutory Taloef S oftwaDreev elopme..n....t... ................ ..................9.4.
Anonymous
YouG etW hatY ouP ayF or?. ......................9 ..7. ...........................................
StepheMna nes
YouC an'Fto ol'Deowmn OnTh e Farm.!.... ......................................... 101
Anonymous
BOFH (Part3 ).... .........................................................................1.0. .2. ..........
SimoTnr avaglia
ADA:T heD evil'sW ork.. ........................................................................ 104
HermaHni ggins
NetmailS preaCdomsm onC old... ........................................................0 15
Cragi MilRoo gers
IKn ow What'sW rong WithM y Compute.r....!... ..............................1.06.
Anonymous
What isT echnicaHla rassmen..t..?.... ..................................................... 107
RicFka dler
Copyrighted Material .
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Contents
I'Jmu sAt T wo-bPirto gramOmne Ar SixteMeanc-hbii..n..t..e. ... .... 108
DaviSd.P latt
IfA rchitHeacdtt oWs o rLki kPer ogram.m....e...r....s.. ....................... 109
J.DavRiudg giero
VAXa ndI BM . . . ... .. ... 111
........................... ......................... .................... ... ......
Anonymous
TheA ustraFliifaDtneh g enerPartoijoenc t .. .. . 116
................ ...... . ..............
LeeN aish
AnA ncieRnotp e-And-CPoumlpluetyIe sUr n eartIhne d
TheJ ungolfAe p raph.u.l....... .............1.1.7. ............................................
A.K .D ewdney
TheV AXorci..s.t. . . .125
...... ................................................. .............................
ChristoRpuhsesre ll
SmaAldl s 133
..................................................................................................
LindsMaayr shall
LaB oiBtlee .ue . .... . . ...134
............................ . .......... .... .................................... .
WilliAa mR ennie
TheD ifferBeentwceee n HaradnwdSa orfet ware ..135
............................ .
Anonymous
UserF riendlYyo?uM usbte J oki..n...g.... .............................................1 36
DanG reenberg
A Dayi nt hLei foefa N etwoMrakn ag..e....r... ....................................1 37
LarrRy. C ustead
TheC ompleoxfiS toyn gs. .. ... . ....1.39
...... .............. . ................................. ......
DonalEd.K nuth
Writin eC ..................................................................................................1 46
Anonymous
A SimpliGfuiiedTdeo H ardwaMraei nten.a.n.c.e. .....1.4.7. ....................
DaviHd. A hl
A LinguiCsotnitcr ibtuoGt oitoon- LPersosg ramm.in.g .. .150
. . ......... .....
R.L awrenCclea rk
BOFH (Pa4r).t.. . .......................................................................................1 54
SimoTnr avaglia
TheH ow-To-Choose-A-CoBmopoukt er.-B..oo.k .157
............ .... . ..... ..... ...
RusseGlrif fin andV ictMoirl ler
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Contents
TheC aseo ft heB ogusE xper(Pta rt4 )... ...............................................1 61
KriHsa mmond
A ParableA boutG eneralini tAryc hitec..t...u...r...e... .......................... 163
Anonymous
Taking a StroDlolw nB abeSlt ree...t........ .............................................. 165
PeteJr.B rown
PleasRee moveTh isL abe..l.. .................................................................. 168
EspenA ndersen
Productiinv iCtoym puterS cien.c...e... .................................................1 70
DannyC ohen
IsB igB eautifSuolm:eC omputer CartForoonsTm h e1 960.'...s... .... 173
GreMgi chaelson
CreatoArdsmi t Unix And C WereA Hoax.. ........................................ 178
Anonymous
TheU ziV ersutsh eC ompute...r.. .......................... ................................. 180
Anonymous
TheC hurcho ft heC yber-Spirit..u....a..l...i...s....t..s.... ..........................1 81
AndreDwa vison
PersonCaolm puting.. ......................... .................................................... 188
EvadLha
BOFH (Par5t). .. ........................................................................................ 191
SimoTnr avaglia
Outo fth eM outhosfB a bes. .......................1.9.3. .........................................
EveR .W irth
ComputerDso n'Atr gue... ...................................................................... 195
GordoRn.D ickson
Transcriptst hfeGr oemn realM otoHresl pLin.e... ............................. 2.10
MichEadewla Crhda stain
RelaRteeadd i.n.g .. . . . 211
. ... ............... ....... ..................... ....................................
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