How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness: A Mindful Guide

345 Pages·2015·12.229 MB·English

by  Toni Bernhard

How to Live I/Vell with Chronic Pain 42261171a

HOW to Live Well
wit/9
Chronic Pain and Illness
A MINDFUL GUIDE
Toni Bernhard
Wisdom Publications
199 Elm Street
Somerville, MA 02144 USA
wisdompubs.org
© 2015 Toni Bernhard
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, elec-
tronic or mechanical, including photography, recording, or by any information
storage and retrieval system or technologies now known or later developed,
without permission in writing from the publisher.
Library of Congress Cataloging—in-Publication Data
Bernhard, Toni.
How to live well with chronic pain and illness : a mindful guide / Toni Bern—
hard.
pages cm
ISBN I—6I429—248-5 (pbk. : alk. paper)
I. Chronic diseases—Social aspects. 2. Chronic diseases—Psychological
aspects. 3. Chronically ill—Care. I. Title.
RA644.5.B48 2015
616’.O44—dc23
2015006367
ISBN 978-1-61429-248-7 ebook ISBN 978-1-61429-263-0
1918171615
5 4 3 2 1
Cover design by Phil Pascuzzo. Interior design by GopaSCTedz, Inc.
Set in Sabon LT Pro 10.8/ I 6.
Wisdom Publications’ books are printed on acid-free paper and meet the
guidelines for permanence and durability of the Production Guidelines for
Book Longevity of the Council on Library Resources.
This book was produced with environmental mindfulness. We have elected to
print this title on 30% PCW recycled paper. As a result, we have saved the fol-
lowing resources: 33 trees, 2 million BTUs of energy, 2,84 5 lbs. of greenhouse
gases, I 5,4 30 gallons of water, and 1,03 3 lbs. of solid waste. For more infor-
mation, please visit our website, wisdompubs.org.
MIX
Printed in the United States of America. Paper from
F S C responsible sources
Wham FSC° 6011935
Please visit fscus.org.
For my children Jamal and Mara...
Generous
Kind-hearted
Honest
Dependable.
You can count on me.
I can count on you.
You have made this a good life indeed.

~
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Table of Contents
Introduction: Making Peace with a Life Upside Down
I . Skills to Help with Each Day
Educating Family and Friends
I .
about Chronic Pain and Illness
P Letting Go: A Not-To-Do List for the Chronically Ill
Asking for Help Can Be Your Gift to Others
9-5
Developing the Confidence to Say No
29
When the “Want Monster” Whispers in Your Ear
35
Complaining Is a Recipe for Suffering
39
Dealing with Tough Choice after Tough Choice
45
The Many Benefits of Patience 55
9. Cultivating Kindness 63
II. Mindfulness: Potent Medicine for Easing the
Symptoms of Chronic Illness
Io. Mindfulness Can Ease Physical Suffering
by Easing Mental Suffering 71
xi
II. Mindfulness Practices That Address
Physical Discomfort
77
Formal Mindfulness Meditation Can Help
12..
Your Mind Help Your Body
87
III. Responding Wisely to Troubling Thoughts and Emotions
Breaking Free from Stressful Thinking Patterns
13 95
When the Blues Come Calling 101
I4
Surviving a Bad Mood with Grace 107
15
16 Shedding the Burden of Embarrassment 113
IV. Special Challenges
17. Invisibility: When You Look Fine to Others 121
18. When You and Those You Love Are in Conflict 129
19. The Special Difficulties Faced by Young People
Who Are Chronically Ill
I39
Maximizing Your Chances of Success at the
2.0.
Doctor’s Office 151
Sick Upon Sick: Handling an Acute Illness
2.1.
While Chronically Ill
159
22. The Pesky Issue of Sleep I65
23. Longing for That Pre-Illness Life 169
24. The Uncertainty of It All
I77
25. Taking Care of the Caregivers 187
V. Isolation and Loneliness
26. Quotations and Reflections on Loneliness I99
27. Healing Loneliness through Mindfulness 205
28. Coping with Isolation During Holidays
and Other Gatherings 213
xii How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness
VI. Enjoy the Life You Have
29. Beware of “Good Old Days Syndrome” 223
3o. Why Not Me? 227
31. Don’t Let Envy and Resentment Keep You from
Enjoying the Life You Have 231
32. Slow Down and Savor Life 241
Appreciating the Wondrousness of the Human Body
33- 7-47
VII. For Family, Friends, Caregivers,
and Anyone Concerned about Chronic Illness
34. Setting the Record Straight about Chronic Illness
253
35- What the Chronically Ill Hope Others
Will Understand 263
36. “Oh No! ”: What the Chronically Ill Hope Others
Won’t Say 271
“Thank You!”: What the Chronically Ill Hope
37-
Others Will Say 281
38. What’s in a Name? The Harm Caused
by Mislabeling Medical Conditions 287
Letting Go: A Not—To—Do List for Caregivers
39' 2-95
40. Lessons for the Healthy from the Land of the Sick 301
VIII. Last but Not Least
41. True Confessions 315
42. My Heartfelt Wishes for the Chronically Ill '32-5
Afterword 333
Acknowledgments
335
About the Author 337
Table of Contents xiii