flatbush jewish journal once again

144 Pages·2016·63.01 MB·English

ד"סב
FJJ
VOLUME 7, N0. 42 F L A T B U S H
DECEMBER 8, 2016 B O R O P A R K
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FLATBUSH JEWISH JOURNAL
IINNDDEEXX FJJ IN THIS WEEKS FJJ
FLATBUSH JEWISH JOURNAL FLATBUSH JEWISH JOURNAL
49 Steps to Greatness 101
Aleppo 122
A Vort From Rav Pam 4
Ask the Shadchan 83
Business Services 76
Children’s Corner 32
Class Acts 14
4 30 28 106
Classifi ed Ads 140
Community Events 79
Community News 78
Daf Yomi Directory 135
Education & Parenting 16
Flatbush Focus 102
Flatbush Weather 6
Food & Dining 25
129 12 128 52
Functional Psychology 62
Halachically Speaking 132
Health & Fitness 61
Heart Notes from Argentina 67
Home & Decor 36
Israel News 84
Lakewood News 18
Letters to the Editor 6
Let's Get Real 68
Life In the Balance 100
Maariv Directory 102
Maran Harav Ovadia 121
Nachas Notes 10
Opinions 117-119
Out of the Box 6
Parsha Inspirations 28 Thousands attended the levaya this past Monday in Lakewood
Parsha Short & Sweet 126 for Rebbetzin Miriam Salomon, a"h, the wife of ybl"c
Partners with Hashem 99 Harav Mattisyahu Salomon, shlita, Mashgiach of Bais Medrash Govoha. Pages 4 & 107
Pathways of Prophets 52
Person in the Parsha 103
Photos of the Past 111 FACES OF THE FJJ
Photo Gallery 72-75
Piskei Rav Belsky 129 FLATBUSH JEWISH JOURNAL
Power Points on Parsha 46
Publisher’s Message 4
Rabbi Frand 12
Rabbi Mansour 120
Rabbinic Message 6
Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein 101
Refl ections of The Maggid 128
Restaurant Directory 26
Salomon Says 110
Sephardic Heritage 120
Shiurim Directory 133
Shiva Listings 105
Shul Directory 124
Simcha Section 82
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FLATBUSH JEWISH JOURNAL
Z M A N P R E S E N T S
Songs by
Yossi
Green
Music
Arrangement by
Yisroel
Lamm
Produced by
Eli Gerstner
ZÜSMAN is a uniquely professional production
that will delight the entire audience. Besides
crafting a dramatic and fascinating story,
C H A N U K A H 5 7 7 7 A T T H E N J P A C ZÜSMAN also presents an inspiring
TALE OF TRUE
HASHGACHA PRATIS
RESERVE YOUR SEAT TODAY!
and characters that remain steadfast in their
emunah and bitachon in the face of great
844.ZUSMAN.1 challenges and life-and-death decisions.
How fitting that our story takes place during
Chanukah, a time when we can truly appreciate
9 8 7 6 2 6 1 that “Yeshuas Hashem k’heref ayin.” MiriaSmon Hg Laynridcsl ebry
W W W . Z M A N P L A Y. C O M
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FLATBUSH JEWISH JOURNAL
A Vort From Rav Pam ZMANIM
December
RABBI SHOLOM SMITH, REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION FROM ARTSCROLL/MESORAH FOR THE FLATBUSH AREA
Parashas Vayeitzei
j
THURS
Be Prepared to Leave Th is Midrash is truly astounding! Yaakov 8 7:08 9:27 4:28 5:14
Th en Yaakov took a vow, saying, “If G-d will had spent the fi rst 63 years of his life in the Neitz SLhaetemsat Shekiah Tzeis ukxf
be with me, [and] will guard me on this way holy environment of Yitzchak and Rivkah, d"g tghmn tcc
that I am going ...” (28:20) totally immersed in Torah and kedushah.
In order to fulfi ll the command of his parents Th e last 14 years were spent at the yeshivah of y
to seek a wife, Yaakov left home and headed to- Shem and Ever, where, as Rashi says, he did FRI 7:09 9:28 4:28 5:14
9 Neitz Latest Shekiah Tzeis
ward Charan. In the pasuk cited above, Yaakov not allow himself even a single night’s sleep in Shema ukxf
appeals to Hashem for protection against the a bed. Now he was heading to the home of La- 4:10 ,urb ,eksv s"g tghmn tcc
dangers facing him in the future. Th e Midrash van. One would think that Yaakov’s concern
(Bereishis Rabbah 70:4) says that Yaakov was would be that he would not be able to learn 18
tmhu ,arp h
,ca
afraid that he might come to violate the prohi- hours a day or that he would have to slightly
bition of lashon hara and the three cardinal sins shorten his very lengthy Shemoneh Esrei. One 10 7:10 9:28 4:28 5:14
— idolatry, murder, and immorality. CONTINUED ON PAGE 137 Neitz SLhaetemsat Shekiah Tzeis ukxf
5:41 (,"r) a"mun v"g tghmn tcc
FJJ Publisher΄s Message
t"h
SUN
11 7:10 9:29 4:28 5:15
Neitz Latest Shekiah Tzeis ukxf
MORDY MEHLMAN, PUBLISHER Shema
u"g tghmn tcc
The Woman Behind The Man
c"h
A Tribute to the Noble Eishes Chaver of Harav Matisyahu Salomon MON
7:11 9:30 4:28 5:15
12
Neitz Latest Shekiah Tzeis ukxf
Shema
All of Klal Yisroel were saddened this time and energy he needed, to be there for so
z"g tghmn tcc
week by the passing of Rebbetzin Miriam many.
Salomon, a”h, at the age of 75; selflessly The Mashgiach, shlita is a remarkable
d"h
devoted Rebbetzin of the great Mashgiach in warrior for all that is sacred. In his many
TUES
Lakewood, Harav Matisyahu Salomon, Shlita. important ventures for the Klal, most notably 13 7:12 9:30 4:29 5:15
She devoted her life to the Mashgiach and the Citifi eld Asifa on the threats of technology, Neitz Latest Shekiah Tzeis ukxf
Shema
his mission, and to the hhheee fffooouuuggghhhttt aaagggaaaiiinnnsssttt j"g tghmn tcc
thousands who sought aaallllll oooddddddsss aaannnddd mmmaaannnyyy
his counsel from around naysayers to uphold s"h
WED
the world. Her pure Yiras Kedushas Klal 7:13 9:31 4:29 5:15
14
Shamayim coupled with Yisroel. Th e success Neitz SLhaetemsat Shekiah Tzeis ukxf
her selfl ess dedication to of that event, and
y"g tghmn tcc
her family and the Klal, the transforming
were truly legendary. effect it still has
What did Rebbetzin until this very day,
Salomon mean to the Mashgiach? No one is a testimony to his perseverance, and the
could say it better than Rav Matisyahu strength his Rebbetzin provided him with.
himself, at the levaya: “What a zechus she She was a remarkable woman, who utilized ADVERTISE
had … I depended entirely on my wife; she her tremendous chachmah to juggle her
was a source of so much Chizuk. Her whole responsibilities to her family and the Klal in IN THE FJJ
life was fi lled with doing good for others ... an unbelievable manner. She was available day
for so many in this town”. His hesped was a and night, and did everything imaginable to EXPANDED
mussar schmuess with great lessons, as the relieve her husband of any burdens that would
Mashgiach gave short explanations on each take him away from his avodas hakodesh. CHANUKAH
pasuk in Eishes Chayil, relating each of them Every Monday evening, the Mashgiach
to his Rebbetzin. would deliver his weekly schmuess in the ISSUES
Rav Matisyahu and the Rebbetzin enjoyed yeshiva. As he prepared in the aft ernoon, the
a close relationship built on mutual respect Rebbetzin would sit in the kitchen and say
PRE-CHANUKAH ISSUE - DEC. 22
and common goals. Th ey selfl essly gave to Tehilim. Th e Mashgiach would not leave the
CHANUKAH ISSUE - DEC. 29
each other, and to all of Klal Yisroel when the house before asking his wife for a bracha that
need arose. Th e Rebbetzin stood steadfastly the schmuess should go with hatzlacha. It was
by his side – a virtual bodyguard with a a relationship built on kedusha, in a home
sacred mission of protecting and preserving where the Shechina resided, and continues to
her beloved husband for the family and all of reside l'orach yamim.
Klal Yisroel. By protecting him, she aff orded How fortunate we will be if we follow their FJJ
everyone a fair amount of time with the ways, and build our homes, our families, our
Mashgiach, and aff orded the Mashgiach the futures on the same principles. 718.692.1144 FL AT BAUSH JEDWISHS [email protected]
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Letters Editor TEHILLIM LIST WEATHER FORECAST
to the EMAIL
[email protected] :ohkuj
THURSDAY
vtk gyhhm ic vnka ohhj crv
kyg ic ohhj uvh,,n crv
All letters must be typed and emailed. Letter writers authorize the Publisher to edit letters due to space constraints, subject matter or Rabbinic direction. tkhc ic uvhkt ;xuh December 8
scfuh ,c ,hsuvh vchk
Pictures Of Castro “Afilu etzbah ketanah”. I trust they’re vyh vra ic xjbp sus AM Clouds/PM Sun
kyhd vfkn ic whnjb
Th e latest issue of the FJJ had several smarter than us. vtk ,c whj vbhr 45˚ 32˚
pictures of the late Cuban dictator Fidel A.K. kth ,c vbhr kyhd
vtk ic ovrct
Castro. I see no reason to show pictures of ohrn vfkn ic injb van FRIDAY
Different Types of Women vcuy tan ohrn ic vjna sus hfsrn
such an evil person. Castro is responsible for kjr ic ctz van December 9
In response to Devorah Letiner who
thousands of people being killed, tortured kzhhr vbj ic hfsrn ktkmc ktpr
described how her righteous grandmother vecr ic ktuna Mostly Sunny
and imprisoned for political reasons. Please khsrp tdhhp ,c vfkn vra
preferred to have few words spoken about ohrn ,c vskud 40˚ 27˚
don’t publish pictures of people accused of vra tsbhv ic vsuvh lurc ohhj
her: Of course, you are correct! Th ere are
murder or terrorism. Th eir likeness should kxhz vbj ic ibj vnka wr
many people, both male and female, who vra gap ic ktuna ejmh SATURDAY
not be shown in the same publication that vecr r,kt ,c krhm
prefer to use their strengths in private. Th at kyh ic ktuh December 10
has pictures of holy tzadikim.
is why we have the concept of the lamed vhj ic hgah ohhj ktpr
Ira Rabinowitz vhxuk vzhk ic iugna wr Sunny
vovniks—righteous people who hold up vjubn vbj ,c vtk vecr
vbrtay ic vsuvh i,b okuan 36˚ 29˚
Rocky Zweig: Always Complaining the world without any acclaim or fanfare. vrucs ic ejmh
Rocky Zweig is always complaining And Sara was indeed the most powerful, vtk kiych dh cimc ocuhshj k tktraprh SUNDAY
about “censoring”, so why, may I ask, don’t amazing woman from inside her tent. tybgh tdhhp ,c r,xt vhj
kjr tbhha ic ovrct ktrah wr December 11
you censor things that shouldn’t be in a However, not all people, and not kgzhhr ic cegh whgah wr
Jewish newspaper? all women, have the same kochos, and kgh ic kdh wr Cloudy
kjr ic rzghkt
A.K. personalities. Which is why the Torah ohrn ,c vjna 41˚ 35˚
vbhs krgp ic ksbn ojbn
Davening with Coats bexrailmliapnletlsy o pf rdoivff iedreesn tu fse mwaitleh pae rmsoynraialidti eosf. vrpra, x,tc ivcs bvhvhg ra,h xcts MONDAY
I’ve been reading your paper lately and fi nd krhx ic ejmh van wr December 12
Yes, Sara Imaynu was in the tent. And r,xt ic ojbn hcm
it so much better than the local Jewish papers! vchr vbj ,c r,xt
Rivkah and Rachel were at the well, Miriam vecr ic kkv lurc Showers
Let me get something off my chest that I fi nd
was before the people at the sea, Chanah kjr ,c kxhz 48˚ 43˚
very disturbing. Today Shabbos was chilly vftb tsbhv ic whgah rat
was in the Mishkan, and Devorah was vkhhc vbj ic kuhhp ktrah
but so many mispallelim davened with their vskz ic hcm irvt
under a palm tree. Together they serve as r,xt ,c whj kjr TUESDAY
coats on. If they met a dignitary wouldn’t they
exceptional examples for us all, and provide vra tagp ic ktuna ejmh wr
take off their coats? Kal vechomer in front vwhpux ic ohhj ktpr sus December 13
us with a variety of feminine models and tbgv ic icutr
of Hakodesh Baruch Hu one should take vrpa vra ic lkn ;xuh Showers
ways to serve Hashem.
off their coat. Th anks again for making my Some women prefer to remain in private. gca,c kjkjr ri cv ienchrbc , ocv vrrcat 51˚ 41˚
Shabbosim so much more enjoyable! ktsbha ic vsuvh ;xuh
Others thrive in more pubic, but still tznius, :ohuca
Queens Gabbai roles. I don’t think our community or our vecr ic hukv hfsrn ouka WEDNESDAY
vra vhj ic hfsrn ktrah cus
Women’s Pictures In The FJJ publications should limit the opportunities vbhbp ic hcm December 14
vra ic injb vsuvh kth,ueh
It’s not that our men can’t handle seeing for all women based on the character traits ohrn ic vnka vhrfz Partly Cloudy
pictures of tznius women. It’s because we of just some. vh,c ic iur 44˚ 33˚
vbhr ic thd
want to protect the women’s sanctity, kvoda Ann D. Koff sky
bas melech pnima.
Baalei Tefi llah: Spare Us The Concert IMPORTANT NUMBERS
Ms. Koff sky, we don’t put pictures of
I’m writing about an annoyance that
women all over, because we respect them Hatzolah 718.230.1000 NYC Helpline 311
prevents me from being able to Daven with Chaveirim 718.431.8181 Emergency 911
and will not exploit them like the world at Shomrim 718.338.9797 Poison Control 800.222.1222
kavana. I do appreciate hearing a Ba’al
large "Shmiras Einaim". Th e sages forbid Misaskim 718.854.4548 Bikur Cholim 718.253.3119
Police 70 PCT 718.851.5511 Torah Phone [phone]
staring even at the pinky fi nger of women CONTINUED ON PAGE 114 Police 61 PCT 718.627.6611 Kol Halashon 718.906.6400
ut Box
Rabbinic Message
A WEEKLY DRASHA FROM of the MUSINGS ON
FLATBUSH RABBONIM TIMELY ISSUES
RABBI YAAKOV SALOMON
Rabbi Etan Tokayer
Out Of Town?
Rabbi, Kingsway Jewish Center
Th ere are a lot of great Mesivtas in this country. And,
Everyone wonders about the trajectory However, the Targum
make no mistake, the decision is a crucial one. Where
of Yaakov’s Angels, olim v’yordim bo, go- Yerushalmi cited by the
ing up and down the ladder to Shamayim. Chizkuni explains that your son goes aft er 8th grade has the potential to shape
Why do the malachim who presumably the malachim escorts him for the rest of his life. Just one suggestion here. If you
come from the Heavens go up before they were so excited by the have been so blessed and so fortunate to have fostered a
come down? presence of Yaakov Avinu that they went truly happy home, with shalom bayis, simchas hachaim,
Rashi famously teaches the Medrash up to the Heavens to let all the other mal- and healthy sibling relationships, then think twice or
that the malachim were escorts who at achim know they had a chance to see a ce- thrice before you send him away. Dorm life is not ideal
the border of Eretz Yisrael handed Yaa- lebrity – Yaakov Avinu whose image was for a nascent 9th or 10th grader and he has much to gain
kov off to a set of chutz la’aretz escorts. So engraved on the Kiseh Hakavod. And the from the healthy environs that you provide. Yes, there are
the fi rst angels went up having completed Angels came just to get a glimpse of this exceptions and extenuating circumstances (so stop yell-
their task, and the second escorts came extraordinary human being. ing at me). But all things equal, don’t let go so fast.
down ready to begin their task. CONTINUED ON PAGE 130 Th ere ain’t no place like home.
FJJ EDUCATION & PARENTING 7
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Nachas Notes
The Name is Bond, Parental Bond
RABBI & MRS. YITZCHAK SHMUEL ACKERMAN, LMHC
How do you build a relationship as appointment. And sometimes they mother allows a child to kneel on his what she prefers, and then assure
husband and wife? You start by form- just listen because sometimes that the chair at the table when Dad isn’t eating your child that she’ll be told whose
ing the habits of a good relationship. only thing their partner needs. with them, and tells the child he has rules to follow if you and your spouse
You make time, every day, to listen Th at’s very nice for young couples, to sit on the chair when Dad is at the are taking turns.
to each others’ experiences, opinions, Rabbi Ackerman, but once the children table, that’s not a mixed message. Th at When it comes to a child defying
and reactions, focusing primarily on arrive, we don’t get to go to very many is a respectful diff erence of opinion. the spouse or showing disrespect,
the positive. simchas together, and we certainly don’t Dad knows very well that Mom each spouse should advocate for the
Th is process begins the morning have quiet evenings at home to sit and allows the children to kneel on their other. If your child complains about
aft er the chasunah. You share your listen and talk. So how do we keep up chairs when he isn’t there, and he your spouse’s rules, then say, “If
memories and impressions from the this bond we worked so hard to build? respects her opinion to allow that. Abba says this is what he wants you
simcha, e.g. your nieces are so ador- You keep up the marital bond by Mom respects Dad’s preference when to do, I expect you to listen.”
able, it was so wonderful that your building a parental bond. You do Dad is there. And the children know But don’t we have to be consistent?
Alter Zaidy was able to be there. things to help each other. You pick up that there is a diff erent expectation Yes, be consistently respectful to-
You continue to share thoughts milk on the way home, move laundry for how to be at the table when Dad ward your spouse. Consistency cer-
and feelings from the events of she- from washer to the dryer, occupy the is there and when Dad is not there. tainly has its place. But as Emerson
va brachos, e.g. it was so nice that my little ones so dad can learn with the When it comes to your prefer- put it, “A foolish consistency is the
aunt remembered that I like pepper bigger ones. Th ese are the unspoken ences, you may not always agree. hobgoblin of little minds.”
steak. parental bonds that are in place by When that happens, you have the Model and teach your child to re-
Why all the emphasis on the pos- the time the children come because opportunity to show your children spect diff erent opinions and preferenc-
itive? Because becoming more aware the parents spent years learning to be that you respect each other as diff er- es rather than believing that when there
of the positive experiences in our in synch with each other and alert to ent and equal, as succinctly put by is disagreement, only one person can be
lives makes it easier to handle the each other’s needs. the Maharal, “Husband and wife are right. Make sure they see that a healthy
negative ones. However, it is not fair and not realis- kenegdo. Th is means they are equals.” and strong parental bond allows for
For those who still write thank you tic to expect every need to be anticipat- (Chiddushei Aggados, Yevamos 62b) each parent to be an individual.
notes, sitting down with your new ed by your spouse. Part of the parental When you and your spouse are on
Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC, has
spouse and composing them together bond is the confi dence that you can ask diff erent pages, sit down with your been working with parents for over 30 years.
is a good exercise in feeling and ex- for something and your request will al- child and tell her. Explain what you He can be reached at 718-344-6575. Men’s and
pressing hakoras hatov. ways be treated with respect and caring prefer, and let your spouse explain women’s groups now available. Call for details.
As time goes by and the days be- even if it cannot be met.
come more routine, make an eff ort, Okay, Rabbi Ackerman, but what
daily, to talk about your day. Sharing about when my wife and I simply dis-
Marilyn David Upper Schools
things big and small builds the bond agree on some parenting matter? How
Girls and Boys Divisions, ages 13-21
of your relationship. How bad was does the parental bond come into play
Elementary School
traffi c with all that rain this morning? then?
Girls Division, ages 5-14
How did you and your chavrusa do Many people think that parents
with that Tosfos you were struggling have to be on the same page about
O p E N H O U S E
with yesterday? What do you think of everything. Th ey believe that if one
redding a shidduch between my sister parent disagrees with the other, that
and your chavrusa’s brother? parent is undermining the other
As a young married couple, you parent’s authority. Th ey think that Girls: Elementary and Marilyn David Upper School
will probably have the opportunity the child will get mixed messages or 1244 East 7th Street, Brooklyn, NY
to have some of these conversations won’t honor his parents properly. Thursday, December 22, 2016
while driving to friends’ vorts, wed- Th at’s a fallacy. It’s unrealistic and
dings, and sheva brachos, and on the unnecessary. When parents model Boys: Marilyn David Upper School
way to your parents’ homes for Shab- respectful disagreement, children 1301 East 18th Street, Brooklyn, NY
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
bos and Yom Tov. learn respect. When parents model
Engaging wholeheartedly in these disrespect toward one another, chil-
MMeeeett tthhee aaddmmiinniissttrraattiioonn,, ttoouurr tthhee sscchhooooll,,
daily conversations would be the dren learn disrespect. Parents don’t
and learn about our individualized
completion of the four faceted ideal always need to agree which each oth-
&& ccoommpprreehheennssiivvee pprrooggrraamm,, iinncclluuddiinngg::
relationship between husband and er. Th ey don’t have to be “on the same
-Life & Social Skills Training
wife: ahava, v’achva, v’shalom, v’ray- page.” Disagreement is not a cause or
-Vocational Training
us. Shalom Bayis means being re- an excuse for disrespect. It is an op-
--MMaaiinnssttrreeaammiinngg//IInncclluussiioonn PPrrooggrraammss
spectful and courteous at all times. It portunity for respect and tolerance.
-Music & Art Therapies
is essential. Friendship between hus- But won’t the children get mixed
-Speech, OT, PT, Counseling
band and wife is the peak of the bra- messages?
cha that we doven for them to attain. No. That’s an often misapplied
Friends share their lives. Th ey cele- term. When you frown and say, To schedule your appointment
brate together and they support each “Okay, go ahead,” you are sending a and for more information,
other when things do not go the way mixed message. Your words say the contact Mrs. Miriam Reifer,
School Administrator
they would like them to. Th ey don’t opposite of the message conveyed by
718.758.2999 ext. 3
criticize each other when something the expression on your face. Simul-
[email protected]
or someone fails. They help each taneous and contradictory messages
other to cope with and tolerate dis- like that are mixed messages. When a