Every woman's marriage: igniting the joy and passion you both desire (workbook included)

306 Pages·2006·1.41 MB·English

by  Shannon Ethridge

Praise for
Every Woman’s Marriage
“Finally! An insightful and frank discussion about the perspectives,
expectations, and behaviors that impair marital relationships. With
Shannon’s expertise on sexual and emotional integrity and Greg’s male
perspective, Every Woman’s Marriage offers practical guidance for
reigniting the intimacy and passion every woman longs for.”
—G K , managing editor of Marriage Partnership magazine
INGER OLBABA
and author of Surprised by Remarriage
Praise for
Every Woman’s Battle
by Shannon Ethridge
“This book sheds light on the often unspoken sensitivities and issues that
women wrestle with. Not only is it well written, but it is liberating and
refreshing with sound principles for overcoming the things that threaten
to keep us from experiencing the fullness of joy that is part of God’s big-
picture plan for our lives.”
—M M H , author of In Search of the Proverbs 31
ICHELLE CKINNEY AMMOND
Man and The Unspoken Rules of Love
“In today’s permissive culture, it’s dangerously easy for even the most
principled of women to reason away unhealthy thoughts, attitudes, and
flirtations with men who aren’t our husbands. In Every Woman’s Battle,
Shannon Ethridge bravely and respectfully draws a line in the sand for
all of us. This is a must-read for every woman who desires true intimacy
and sexual integrity.”
—C R , author of Life Inside the “Thin” Cage
ONSTANCE HODES
“There’s a common, almost Victorian, myth that women don’t really
struggle with sexual sin. That myth causes many women to feel a double
shame. The shame of struggling sexually is compounded by the
assumption that few, if any, women share the same battle. Shannon
Ethridge artfully and boldly unveils the war and offers women a way to
enter the battle with courage, hope, and grace. Every Woman’s Battle will
help both men and women comprehend the glorious beauty and
sensuality of holiness. This is a desperately needed book.”
—D . D B. A , president of Mars Hill Graduate School and
R AN LLENDER
author of The Healing Path and To Be Told
“If you’re like me, you want the deepest connection possible with your
husband, you want a soul-to-soul connection not encumbered by
anything that could damage it—and you’re going to find Shannon’s book
immeasurably helpful in doing just that. Every Woman’s Battle is the best
resource I know for embracing God’s plan for sexual and emotional
integrity as a woman.”
—L P , author of When Bad Things Happen to Good
ESLIE ARROTT
Marriages
“Many of my Bad Girls of the Bible readers have tearfully confessed to me
their struggles with sexual sins—promiscuity, adultery, and self-
gratification among them. Since we cannot pretend Christian women
don’t face these temptations, it’s a relief to have a sound resource like
this one to recommend. Shannon Ethridge’s straightforward,
nonjudgmental, step-by-step approach can help women come clean in
the best way possible—through an intimate relationship with the Lover
of their souls.”
—L C H , best-selling author of Bad Girls of the Bible, Really
IZ URTIS IGGS
Bad Girls of the Bible, and Unveiling Mary Magdalene
Readers Rave About
Every Woman’s Marriage
“Thank you so much for writing this book. It was given to me by a dear
friend at a very good time in my life. My husband has been in Iraq for a
year, and I only get to see him every four months. There were so many
things in the book that I realize I was guilty of, such as disrespect,
wanting to be in control, and belittling him, not to mention my sexual
hang-ups that affected our marriage. Now I have a much better
understanding, and I told my husband over the phone recently, ‘I get it
now. I’m sorry.’ He jokingly replied, ‘It’s about time. It’s only been
seventeen years!’ He was right. This breakthrough has been a long time
in coming, so thank you!”
—Becky
“I can’t thank you enough for Every Woman’s Marriage and The Sexually
Confident Wife! There aren’t words to describe how these books have
changed our marriage for the better. We actually turn off the TV and
read them together, talking about the things we’re learning as we go
along. I can honestly say I’m more in love with my husband than when
we married. We have recommended these books to family, friends, and
coworkers and will continue to do so!”
—Patti
“Shannon, I would like to thank you so much for your book. I’ve been
married for seven months, and your book has been a blessing. I bought it
right after my husband and I had a big fight. I wanted to blame him for
everything, but I believe the Holy Spirit led me to your book! I was
fighting the voice inside me saying how entitled I was to a pity party,
but I’m so glad I didn’t go down that road. It was exactly what I needed
to read. I shared a lot of it with my husband too. Thank you for being so
open and so real in your writing. You have inspired me to be the same
way. God bless you!”
—Marcy
“I just read the last page of Every Woman’s Marriage after having
devoured Every Woman’s Battle last week. I cannot even eat my lunch
without stopping and thanking you for writing this, for your honesty and
your openness about an area that so few women admit or talk about. I
read thoughts that I’ve had and didn’t know anyone else had! I’m
experiencing great healing—healing I didn’t know was possible. I praise
the Lord for the words He has given you to share!”
—Tricia
“Thank you so much for this series of books you have written so
candidly. I can’t tell you how much reading Every Woman’s Battle and
Every Woman’s Marriage has changed my life. Though I’m not ‘fixed’ yet,
I have learned so much and applied so much of what I’ve learned to
make a much happier place for my husband to come home to. I’m so
glad they’re titled Every Woman’s … because it makes me feel better to
know I’m not the only one. As I read of other women’s struggles, I’d
think, This woman knows me inside and out! I believe your books have
played a huge part in saving my marriage. Know that you are doing
God’s work to change people’s lives, and it’s working!”
—Linnea
“I just finished reading Every Woman’s Marriage, and I want to say thank
you! I was so amazed that there was another woman on this planet who
felt and acted as I did but was able to find a way out! As I read the book,
my own words would sometimes jump right out at me. It was such a
blessing to my marriage to know that yes, other women do feel and react
this way, and no, it’s not the right way. Your book was filled with all the
tools I need to effectively show love and respect to my husband. Thank
you for allowing God to use you in the lives and marriages of millions of
women. I am blessed to be one of them.”
—Carolyn
“I have been an avid reader of the Every Man/Woman series and have
all of them, including the ones that my wife and I are reading with our
children. I just completed Every Woman’s Marriage, and from a husband’s
perspective, this was one of the best books on marriage I’ve ever read. I
enjoyed the transparency you show in this book, and I could not agree
more with all of your premises. It’s always nice to read books from
people who have been through the fires of marriage and overcome them.
What an insight God gives us then! This book is exactly what a man
needs and desires from his wife. If more wives understood this, the more
astounded they would be at how their husbands would meet their
emotional needs. Great job, and we are so glad to have this wonderful
book in our library to share.”
—Michael
“Shannon, I heard you speak at the Thrive Conference in November and
have been reading Every Woman’s Marriage. Wow! I have been married
two years (second marriage) and thought things were great except for a
little bickering about kids and stuff. But this book opened my eyes, and I
could see myself doing all this stuff to my poor husband. This awareness
has already started changing our relationship as I am trying to follow
through with all of your great recommendations. I feel confident that
our marriage and family life will be much stronger from now on, so
thank you for your wonderful book!”
—Michelle
“I think Every Woman’s Marriage is the best book I’ve ever read on
marriage. At some parts, I felt that I could’ve written the book because it
was so much like my own experiences. My husband and I have been
married for seventeen years, and he’s a pastor at a large church. I’ve
been telling every one of my girlfriends and family members about your
book. Thank you for writing it, sharing your experiences, and being so
real and relatable.”
—Trudy

EVERY WOMAN’S MARRIAGE
PUBLISHED BY WATERBROOK PRESS
12265 Oracle Boulevard, Suite 200
Colorado Springs, Colorado 80921
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living
Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Wheaton,
Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are taken from the King
James Version. Scripture quotations marked (MSG) are taken from The Message by Eugene H.
Peterson. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of
NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from
the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by
International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights
reserved.
Details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons
involved.
eISBN: 978-0-30749972-1
Copyright © 2006, 2010, by Shannon Ethridge
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any
means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information
storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of the Crown Publishing
Group, a division of Random House Inc., New York.
WATERBROOK and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Random House Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Ethridge, Shannon.
Every woman’s marriage : igniting the joy and passion you both desire / Shannon and Greg
Ethridge ; introduction by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker.—1st ed.
p. cm.
1. Wives—Religious life. 2. Christian women—Religious life. 3. Marriage—Religious aspects—
Christianity. 4. Man-woman relationships—Religious aspects—Christianity. I. Ethridge, Greg. II.
Title.
BV4528.15.E84 2006
248.8′435—dc22
2006001026
v3.1
This book is dedicated to our parents,
James and Joan Phillips
and
Jay and Wanda Ethridge,
who combined have been married almost one hundred years.
How fortunate we’ve been to have your examples
of unconditional love and commitment to live by.