Epicmealtime : the collector's cookbook

191 Pages·2014·51.07 MB·English

by  Morenstein

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Table of Contents
Foreword
Recipes
Worst Pizza
Angry French Canadian
The Double Kill
Triple Meat Log
TurBacon Epic
Breakfast of Booze
Fast Food Sushi
Meatball Deathstar
Slaughterhouse (X-mas Special)
Black Legend
Epic Egg Roll
Chili 4 Loko
Meat Salad
Sloppy Roethlisburger
Tequila Taco Night
Meat Car
Fast Food Lasagna
Candy BBQ
84-Egg Sandwich
Fast Food Meat Loaf
Candy Pizza
Bios
Sauce Boss
Muscles Glasses
Tyler!
Epic Mook
Prince Atari
Cousin Dave
The best way to read this book is straight through, player. Then come
back to it as reference material every day until you learn this shit.

SAUCE BOSS
HARLEY MORENSTEIN
FIRST EPISODE: Fast Food Pizza EATING STYLE: Calculated
POSITION: Grand Admiral Master Chief/Commander General The
fuckin’ brains of EpicMealTime, the hairy face of EpicMealTime,
and of course, the booming voice of EpicMealTime; Harley
Morenstein, a.k.a. Sauce Boss! Harley was a schoolteacher until
the summer of 2010, when he created EpicMealTime in his
backyard. Harley went from schooling noobs to snuggling boobs in
just a few months. With no editing skills and no camera training,
he bought a fuckin’ laptop (balling) and a camera (boss balling) on
a teacher’s salary (not balling) and taught himself how to produce
a show. Big-time moves right there. Although EpicMealTime
started out as a hobby, Harley became seriously commited to
producing a legit series. The first 60+ videos of EpicMealTime
were single-handedly edited by the Sauce Boss himself. What you
know about video-editing software? Although he touches the food
on the rarest of occasions, he takes no part in the cooking. Fuck
that, he’s got a good goon squad to handle that shit. All of the
meals come from his mind and are passed down to the rest of the
team, who further mutate them. Finally, each meal is filtered back
through the “Brain” of the Sauce Boss to ensure maximum Next-
Level Intelligence of the Epic Meal.
WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW
Egg beating! More than 15 dozen (that’s 180 for you dumbasses) chicks
have been fingered on EpicMealTime.
“WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT COOKING?”