Eight Stories Up: An Adolescent Chooses Hope over Suicide (Adolescent Mental Health Initiative)

225 Pages·2008·0.69 MB·English

by  DeQuincy Lezine

AdvanceAcclaimfor
Eight Stories Up
‘‘EightStoriesUpisapowerfulandimportantbook.Itoffershopetothosewithoutit
andprovidesclear,practicalsuggestionsforindividualsandfamilymemberswhose
livesarehitbysuicidaldespair.Icannotrecommendthisbookhighlyenough.’’
—KayRedfieldJamison,Ph.D.,ProfessorofPsychiatry,
JohnsHopkinsSchoolofMedicineandauthorofAnUnquietMind
‘‘Forthoseofuswhohavegottencaughtintheripcurrentofdepression,EightStories
Upisatether,alifeline,withwhichwecanbegintopullourselvesbacktoshore.’’
—BrentRunyon,authorof TheBurnJournals
‘‘Interspersedwiththepoignantandpersonalexperienceofhisownnear-suicide,
Lezineofferseducationandhopeforotherswhomaybethinkingofendingtheir
lives.’’
—BevCobain,authorof WhenNothingMattersAnymore:
ASurvivalGuideforDepressedTeensandDyingtoBeFree:
AHealingGuideforFamiliesafteraSuicide
‘‘Acandidaccountoflife’strialsandhopes,EightStoriesUpisanengagingnarrative
perfect for any adolescent who may feel lost or alone. Infused with facts and
resources, DeQuincy Lezine’s gripping story of his depressed adolescence and
chronicleofrecoverybringsusintohisworldandletsusallknowwe’renotalone.
Withanhonestviewofhislifeandexperiences,Lezineteachesalladolescentshow
tochoosehopeoversuicide.’’
—AlisonK.Malmon,FounderandExecutiveDirector,ActiveMinds,Inc.
‘‘EightStoriesUpisapractical,useful,andcompellingbookthatshouldbeinevery
highschoollibraryandoneverytherapist’sshelf.LezineandBrenthavetakenthe
complex,multifacetedproblemofsuicideandputitintolanguageandexamples
that everyone can benefit from. Eight Stories Up clears up the confusion about
suicide,answersthequestionssomanyhave,andshedslightonthepractical,real-
lifestruggleofoneteenwhoovercamethedemons,myths,andhorrorsofmental
illness.Asyouwalkthroughtheauthor’slifeinthisbook,youwillrelate,learn,and
developyourowninsightstohelpgetyouthrough.Whatafabulousbookofhope
andinspirationforanyonewhofeelstheirlifemightbeover.ReadEightStoriesUp
andyouwillknowthatitisnot!’’
—DanielJ.Reidenberg,Psy.D.,FAPA,ExecutiveDirector,
SuicideAwarenessVoicesofEducation(SAVE),andFellow,
AmericanPsychotherapyAssociation
‘‘Quix’sdirectexperienceasasuicideattempter,combinedwithhisPh.D.education
in psychological research, provides a unique perspective from which parents and
professionalsworkingwithstrugglingteenscangaininsightandunderstandinginto
thecomplexworldofasuicidalmind.’’
—SueBlauner,authorof HowIStayedAliveWhenMyBrainWas
TryingtoKillMe:OnePerson’sGuidetoSuicidePrevention
The Annenberg FoundationTrust at Sunnylands’
AdolescentMental Health Initiative
PatrickE. Jamieson,Ph.D.,series editor
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Eight Stories Up
An Adolescent Chooses
Hope Over Suicide
DeQuincy A. Lezine, Ph.D.
with David Brent, M.D.
1
2008
1
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Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,
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LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
Lezine,DeQuincyA.,1977–
Eightstoriesup:anadolescentchooseshopeoversuicide/DeQuincyA.Lezine,
withDavidBrent.
p.cm.—(Adolescentmentalhealthinitiative)
Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex.
ISBN978-0-19-532556-0—ISBN978-0-19-532557-7(pbk)
1. Lezine,DeQuincyA.,1977—Mentalhealth. 2. Teenagers—Suicidalbehavior—
Prevention. I.Brent,DavidA. II.Title.
RJ506.S9L49 2008
618.92'858445—dc22 2007047152
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
PrintedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica
onacid-freepaper
For my wife and partner in life, Myra,
and in memory of my friend, MaryAlice.
This page intentionally left blank
Letter to the Reader in Crisis
Dear Reader,
If I were in your position, I would find it hard to believe that
somebodyIdidn’tknowwouldreallywanttotalktome.YetI
really do. I wish I knew your name so that I could make this
letter more personal. I wish I could be there with you right
nowsothatyoucouldseethesincerityinmyeyesasIlistened
to you explain your pain to me. I can’t. I can only hope that
you will read the following words and know that they are
written from my heart.
I know that to feel suicidal is to feel unbearable suffering. It
hurtssobadly thatsometimeswejustwanttocry.Goahead.I
grew up believing that I should never cry, but in fact tears are
natural.Ifyouhavetocryalonefornow,thenfindaplacewhere
you can let thosetears go.Ifithelpstohavea friend withyou,
thengivethatfriend acallorsend ane-mail or a text message.
When people are in great pain, it is sometimes hard for
them to think about anything other than ending that pain. I
rememberaccidentallygettingmyfingerjammedinmyschool
locker when I was 13. It took everything I had to remember
my locker combination so I could get my finger out, all the
viii LettertotheReaderinCrisis
while distracted by the agony radiating from my hand. I
suppose I could have yanked my finger out from the locked
door, but that would have made things worse—lacerating the
skinorperhapslosingpartofthefingeraltogether.Theurgeto
get rid of suffering is so powerful that we start to consider
extreme and permanent solutions for pain relief, when other
options are available. It is hard to think clearly when we’re in
pain—that’s why it’s not the best time (in fact, it’s the worst
time) to do something rash, whether yanking a finger out of a
lockeddooror,inthegripofhorrificmentalpain,considering
suicide. How about another analogy? Have you ever stubbed
yourtoebefore?WhenIstubmytoe,Ienduphoppingonone
footandcursinglikeit’sgoingoutofstyle.Still,Iwouldn’tbe
ready to amputate the toe. Yet when it hurt just to be alive, I
wasreadytocutoffliving.Iwasreadytodie.ButIwaswrong
to think that dying was the best way to end my pain.
When we have to make a major decision, whether it’s to
undergo surgery like an amputation, to buy a car, to pick the
right college, or to find a good job, most of the time we get
help.Wegetasecondopinion.Contemplatingsuicideistruly
a matter of life or death, and your life is more important than
cars or jobs or colleges. Doesn’t it make sense to get a second
opinion about the decision to
You can also call the stop living? Please call some-
body—a parent, an older
NationalSuicidePrevention
brotherorsister,agoodfriend.
Lifeline at 1-800-273-
You can also call the National
TALK (8255)
Suicide Prevention Lifeline
at 1-800-273-TALK (8255),
wherepeoplearewaitingtolistentoyouandtohelpyou.You
are worth the time it takes to get a second opinion about
ending your life.
LettertotheReaderinCrisis ix
Ultimately,thisisabookaboutoptions.Suicideisonlyone
of the options for ending your pain, but there are others that
arelessviolentandlesspermanent.Nobodyelsecandecidefor
you which options are best. Only you can decide that for
yourself. But I think you owe it to yourself to try out some of
those other options before you try to kill yourself. You don’t
knowwhatthefutureholds,butyourobyourselfofthechance
to find out what your life can be if you choose to end it now.
There is still time for you to find a life worth living. Please
don’t give up.
Now I’m going to ask you to go make those calls. It takes a
lot of strength to ask for help, but I know that you can do it.
I’ll behere for you when you get back, and we can takea look
at some of those options I was talking about.
With every hope for your future,
DeQuincy Lezine