BDSM Experiences, Relationships, and Scenes in Southern Dominants

197 Pages·2014·1.12 MB·English

Institute for Clinical Social Work

BDSM Experiences, Relationships, and Scenes in Southern Dominants

A Dissertation Submitted to the Faculty of the
Institute for Clinical Social Work in Partial Fulfillment
for the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy

By
Kandice H. van Beerschoten

Chicago, Illinois
June 2014
Copyright © 2014 by Kandice H. van Beerschoten
All rights reserved
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Abstract

This study explored the various meanings that heterosexual male Dominants assigned to
their relationships and sexual scenes with their submissive partners. Utilizing a multiple case
study methodology, seven participants were each interviewed five times regarding their family
history, interest in and practice of BDSM, relationship history, and the internal emotional impact
of the interactions that take place during a scene with a submissive.
The findings showed that there was an important element of restitution for the
participants during the scene, wherein they were able to work toward reconciliation of individual
childhood experiences. A clear sadomasochistic pattern also emerged in the adult relationships
of the participants. Additionally, there was a distinct need by most participants to connect with
their partner in an emotionally significant manner.
There was one case that was distinct from the others by virtue of both the relational
dynamic and the internal meanings of the participant. This is reported and discussed as a
negative case in the findings.

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Acknowledgements

I would like to thank my committee: Jennifer Tolleson, who expertly guided me through
the often difficult process of navigating a great deal of data and helped me gain much-needed
clarity when all was muddled; Dennis Shelby, who understood the finer points and continuously
challenged me; Sue Cebulko, who provided advice and calmed me during the interview process
when I dealt with the unexpected; Lynne Tylke, whose early challenge to me to deepen my
clinical thinking had a profound influence on my ability to analyze and interpret the data; and
Dennis Tsioles, who was a last minute saving grace and gave valuable feedback. All of you have
guided and supported me along the way, and I am grateful for your wisdom. There are no words
that are truly sufficient to express my appreciation for the impact that you have had. Thank you.
Also, I would like to thank the gentlemen who participated in this study and opened up
both their lives and homes to me. I am grateful to all of you and appreciate your honesty and
courage.
To my friends, who have supported, encouraged, and motivated me throughout this
endeavor – thank you. In particular, I want to thank Amy Rushing and Grace Roberson. I am
blessed and grateful beyond measure to have your friendship. To my parents, thank you for
always believing in me and encouraging me to succeed. Mom, I appreciate your support. Dad, I
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know without question how proud you would be. To my in-laws, Rien and Marita: Distance has
not kept me from feeling your love and encouragement during this process.
Special thanks to my cohort: Andrea, Julie, Laura, and Sheila. Throughout the various
chapters we created and witnessed, the four of you have been a constant source of inspiration,
support, and laughter. I feel blessed to have all of you as part of my extended family.
To my family: Alex and Krista, I appreciate your patience and understanding during
these years. You both continue to teach me new things every day, and I am grateful for both of
you. Most importantly, I want to thank my husband Stephan. You first encouraged me to do this
and pushed me to continue when I was overwhelmed. You have held our house and family
together during these five years, and have truly been our glue. I am incredibly fortunate to be
your wife. Altijd de Jouwe.
- KvB

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Table of Contents

Page
Abstract…………………………………………………………………………………….. iii
Acknowledgements………………………………………………………………………… iv
List of Abbreviations……………………………………………………………………….. viii
Chapter
I. Introduction………………………………………………………………… 1
Formulation of the Problem
Background on the South
Background on BDSM
Personal Perspectives and Biases

II. Literature Review…………………………………………………………… 10

Perversion
Reparation
Identification
Empirical Studies
The South
Theoretical Framework

III. Methodology………………………………………………………………….. 53

Study Design
Sample Description
Data Collection Methods and Instruments
Data Analysis
Protecting the Rights of Human Subjects
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Table of Contents – Continued

Chapter Page
IV. Findings……………………………………………………………………… 59
Participant 1: Falcor
Participant 2: Dan
Participant 3: Matt
Participant 4: Bob
Participant 5: Mr. R
Participant 6: Tom
Participant 7: Ed

V. Discussion……………………………………………...…………………… 148

The Negative Case
Cross-Case Analysis
Implications for Theory and Clinical Practice
Summary

Appendices
Participant Informed Consent…......……………………………………………… 175
References………………………………………………………………...………… 179

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List of Abbreviations

BDSM Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and submission, Sadism and
masochism
Dom Dominant
D/s Dominance/submission; Dominant/submissive
M/s Master/slave
SM Sadomasochism
sub submissive

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1

Chapter I

Introduction
Formulation of the Problem
This study explored what it means to be a heterosexual man living in the rural South who
identifies as a “Dominant” within the BDSM culture. BDSM (Bondage and
discipline/Dominance and submission/sadism and masochism) has been a recognized, though
curiously regarded, aspect of sexuality for centuries. In the United States, it continues to be seen
as “kinky.” The South, particularly rural areas trending more toward conservative values and
mores, has a noted history of being weak in sexual research and strong in religious beliefs
regarding sexual relations. Additionally, the activities that occur within BDSM have been
labeled by the psychoanalytic community as “perverse.”
The prevalence of BDSM within the United States is difficult to gauge, as this is an
activity in which people may be reluctant to acknowledge participation. Estimates are that
somewhere between 5 – 10% of the population participate in at least occasional sexual
sadomasochism (Lowe, 1983) and 11 – 14% have experimented with BDSM at some point in
their lives (Kleinplatz & Moser, 2007).
This study looked at two areas that would benefit from additional research, which are
BDSM and Southern sexuality. As Wilson (2006) states:
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Little concrete social science evidence exists . . . for evaluating the uniqueness of sexual
attitudes and behaviors among Southerners, despite widespread attention to the study of
human sexuality in the 20th century. Many social science researchers either do not
control for or do not consider regional differences in analyzing their data (p. 164,
“Sexuality”).
Therefore, I hoped that selecting a sample from the rural South could bring a regional and
cultural perspective that may prove valuable to sexuality studies.
While there is a great deal of psychoanalytic literature on sadomasochism, there is little
research on what BDSM means subjectively to those who participate. Without this, there is a
gap between what has been learned from research, theory, and practice. It was the hope that
learning more about the internal world of this population would provide insight and contribute to
the discussion regarding psychopathology. Additionally, the ideas that clinicians hold about
perversions and the people that are felt to have perversions may be challenged as these categories
become more clearly defined. Clinicians’ understanding could be significantly deepened
regarding the ways in which men of this subgroup think about and experience their sexuality. By
discovering the meanings that participants in BDSM assign to their sexual practices, the
therapeutic experiences of BDSM participants may be positively affected.