Table Of Content“As an emotionally sensitive person, I love this book! Karyn does an
outstanding job of addressing this delicate topic with both empathy
and compassion. The Emotionally Sensitive Person provides a
practical guide for successful coping that also serves to inspire. Highly
recommended.”
—Amanda L. Smith, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)
therapist and treatment consultant
“The Emotionally Sensitive Person is exceptional. This unique manual,
compassionately written by Karyn D. Hall, will appeal to and serve the
needs of those who live with highly sensitive emotions. She highlights
proven methods to consciously and skillfully manage unhelpful
thoughts and behaviors by following and practicing personalized
exercises. Read, practice, experience, and enjoy The Emotionally
Sensitive Person as you learn new ways to enhance your life.”
—Diane and Jim Hall, educators for National Alliance on
Mental Illness Family-to-Family and NEA.BPD’s Family
Connections programs
“Emotionally sensitive people will want to keep this compassionate,
instructional guidebook on their nightstands. Hall’s clinical wisdom
shines through as she offers numerous helpful tools, informed by
dialectical behavior therapy, to be used immediately to better cope
with one’s emotional states. I will recommend this self-help book to
my own clients to complement and enhance the psychotherapy.”
—Alec L. Miller, PsyD, professor of clinical psychiatry and
behavioral sciences, Montefiore Medical Center, Albert
Einstein College of Medicine, and cofounder, Cognitive
and Behavioral Consultants, LLP
“This book takes readers by the hand and gently introduces them to the
struggle, suffering, and hidden potential of the emotionally sensitive
person. Drawing from her wealth of clinical experience, Hall presents
essential strategies to support the development of emotional sensitivity
into a strength. The chapters are well organized and concisely written.
Therapeutic exercises are practical with clear and concise instructions.
Anyone who has been accused of being ‘too sensitive’ can benefit
from this book!”
—Elizabeth W. Newlin, MD, assistant professor in the
Menninger department of psychiatry and behavioral
sciences at Baylor College of Medicine and director of the
adolescent treatment program at the Menninger Clinic
“For anyone who’s ever thought of themselves as emotionally
sensitive—or someone who’s lived with someone who is—this book is
an invaluable gem. Using proven therapeutic techniques, Hall delivers
on helping people keep their emotional sensitivity, but honing it so that
it is more beneficial than hurtful. I can’t imagine a better resource for
those who are grappling with this issue in their lives.”
—John M. Grohol, PsyD, founder and CEO of
psychcentral.com, the Internet’s leading mental health site
“Karyn D. Hall brings a wealth of wisdom and experience to the pages
of her new book, The Emotionally Sensitive Person. With practical
advice and useful exercises, she teaches us how to dismantle an
emotional roller coaster style and to replace it with just the right
amount of sensitivity and feeling. Highly recommended!”
—John M. Oldham, MD, chief of staff at the Menninger
Clinic and professor of psychiatry at Baylor College of
Medicine
Publisher’s Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with
the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If
expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Copyright © 2014 by Karyn Hall New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609
www.newharbinger.com
Cover design by Amy Shoup; Acquired by Melissa Kirk; Edited by Will DeRooy
All Rights Reserved
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file epub ISBN:
9781608829958
For Chris
Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction
1. Understanding Emotional Sensitivity
2. First Steps to Reclaiming Control
3. The Basics Make a Difference. Really.
4. Introduction to Mindfulness
5. Identifying Your Emotions
6. Letting Go of Judgments
7. Learning Effective Decision Making
8. Developing Your Identity
9. Living with or Overcoming Loneliness
References
Acknowledgments
I’
m grateful to so many who supported and contributed to this project.
Emotionally sensitive people all over the world shared generously and bravely
about living with emotional sensitivity. Please know that all examples represent
a combination of different people’s experiences. All names have been altered,
and any resemblance to any single individual is conincidental.
My thinking is heavily influenced by the work of Marsha Linehan, PhD, who
created dialectical behavior therapy. Thank you also to Shari Manning, PhD, and
Helen Best at Treatment Implementation Collaborative, who always encourage
growth with inspiring integrity.
My gratitude to Suzanne Robinson, Kelly Guynes, Pamela Jones, Joseph
Pentony, Rebecca Ciatto, Lindsay Raymer, Beverly Bontrager, Meggan Watson,
and Angela Tallo, who are all a constant source of wisdom. Kraig Dunn is
amazingly skillful and makes even the most outrageous ideas a reality. I’m sure
he will some day find a way to have horses on the roof of our office building.
Carla Sharp, PhD, and Allison Kalpakci, BS, designed a research study in
addition to their already full schedules.
This book wouldn’t exist without the gifted professionals at New Harbinger
Publications. Thank you to Melissa Kirk and Jess Beebe in particular. Jueli
Garfinkle and Will DeRooy in some magical way turned my ramblings into
meaningful text. This book makes sense because of them.
I’m grateful to my friends and family members who accepted the long hours
I spent writing and rewriting, especially Michelle Meisenhalder and Ray and
Barbara Meisenhalder. I am always and forever grateful to Chris, who
unconditionally helps me pursue my dreams.
Introduction
E
motionally sensitive people are those who experience intense emotions more
frequently and for longer periods of time than most people do. Given that you’ve
picked up this book, chances are that you see yourself or someone you know as
emotionally sensitive.
Perhaps you recognize the challenges faced by Alisha, Harold, or Nicole:
When Alisha found out that Roger had cheated on her repeatedly
throughout their marriage, she filed for divorce. Yet she couldn’t bring
herself to ask him to move out of the house—in addition to fearing that he
would be upset with her, she was worried about how she would feel without
him around. So now, a couple of years later, they still live together, and she
supports him. After all, she explains to her friends, he has no place to go
and has difficulty managing his money. She hates that her fear of feeling
bad keeps her from making the decision she knows makes the most sense
(i.e., to ask him to leave). She realizes it shows a lack of self-respect.
Harold worries about unintentionally offending others and struggles with
saying no. He stays on the phone for hours with upset friends and
acquaintances to the point he isn’t getting daily tasks completed. He
doesn’t watch the news because it makes him sad.
Nicole sees herself as weak, as “not good enough.” She’s often in tears,
angry, or sad when no one else is. Others tell her she “wears her heart on
her sleeve” and “lets everything get to her.” These comments and many
more make her feel different and misunderstood.
Do any of these stories sound familiar? Even if they’re not right on target,
read on. There are different ways of being emotionally sensitive, and you may
not have the same pattern of emotional sensitivity as Alisha, Harold, or Nicole.
Are You Emotionally Sensitive?
Description:"It's a commonly heard phrase: Stop being so sensitive. These words can be frustrating to hear, and if you are an emotionally sensitive person, they often have the opposite of the desired effect. You cannot simply switch off your emotions like you would a TV show or a radio station playing an annoyi
