Managing Difficult People: A Survival Guide For Handling Any Employee

227 Pages·2004·3.17 MB·English

by  Marilyn Pincus

M
ANAGING
D
IFFICULT
P
EOPLE
A Survival Guide for
Handling Any Employee
Marilyn Pincus
With contributions from Bob Adams,
Michael S. Dobson, Richard Mintzer, John Riddle,
Gary R. McClain, and Deborah S. Romaine
Adams Media
Avon, Massachusetts
Copyright © 2004, F+W Publications, Inc. All rights reserved. This book, or parts
thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher;
exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.
Published by Adams Media, an F+W Publications Company
57 Littlefield Street
Avon, MA 02322
ISBN 13: 978-1-59337-186-9 (paperback)
ISBN-13: 978-1-60550-854-2 (EPUB)
ISBN 10: 1-59337-186-1
Printed in Canada
J I H G F E D C B A
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Pincus, Marilyn.
Managing difficult people / Marilyn Pincus.
p. cm.
ISBN 1-59337-186-1
1. Problem employees. 2. Supervision of employees.
3. Personnel management. I. Title.
HF5549.5.E42P56 2005
658.3’045--dc22
2004013270
Contains material adapted and abridged from Streetwise® Managing People:
Lead Your Staff to Peak Performance by Bob Adams, et al., ©1997, Adams Media
Corporation; Streetwise® Business Management: How to Organize, Market, and
Finance Your Way to Business Success by John Riddle, ©2001, Adams Media Cor-
poration; Streetwise® Project Management: How to Manage People, Processes,
and Time to Achieve the Results You Need by Michael S. Dobson, ©2003, Adams
Media Corporation; The Everything® Project Management Book: Tackle Any Proj-
ect with Confidence and Get It Done on Time by Richard Mintzer, ©2002, Adams
Media Corporation; and The Everything® Managing People Book: Quick and Easy
Ways to Build, Motivate, and Nurture a First-Rate Team by Gary R. McClain and
Deborah S. Romaine, ©2002, Adams Media Corporation.
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with
regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the pub-
lisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice.
If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent
professional person should be sought.
—From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the
American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations
The people mentioned in all of the illustrations used in this book are fictitious. The
stories are based upon predictable behaviors displayed by negative employees and
the responses those behaviors received.
This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.
Visit our home page at www.adamsmedia.com
Dedication
This book is dedicated to my sister, Joan Beverly Gesang.
She’s a woman I admire and a great pal to me.
Acknowledgments
Hats off to the hardworking men and women in our great
country, the United States of America! And here’s a spe-
cial thanks to managers everywhere, who in their quest
for excellence remain eternal students. A writer of books
owes these managers a particular tribute.

C
ONTENTS
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xi
Part 1: Negative Behavior in the Workplace
Chapter 1: Managers’ Attitudes Affect
Employee Performance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
Making the Necessary Distinctions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
Setting Realistic Expectations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
A Manager’s Attitude Influences Outcome . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
The Power of Motivation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
Incentives and Rewards . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13
Chapter 2: What’s a “Negaholic,” and
Why Should I Care? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17
The Anatomy of a Negaholic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Dealing with Ineffective Work Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .21
Post a “Pessimists Not Welcome” Sign . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .25
Judging Situations Properly . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .27
Chapter 3: Assessing the Many
Different Behaviors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31
Examining Personalities and Anticipating Behavior . . .32
General Rules Apply . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .33
Setting Excellent Performance Review Objectives . . . . .36
Don’t Forget to Give Yourself a Break . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .41
v
MANAGING DIFFICULT PEOPLE
Part 2: Negaholics Exposed
Chapter 4: The Bully . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .45
Predictable Pattern: Bullies act narcissistically. . . . . . .46
Unacceptable Attitude: Bullies appear to think
highly of themselves. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .48
Sneaky Scheme: Bullies use the silent treatment
and other antisocial tricks to call the shots. . . . . . .51
Chapter 5: The Complainer or Whiner . . . . . . . . . . . . .55
Predictable Pattern: Complainers are not doers. . . . . . .56
Unacceptable Attitude: Whiners think, “I’m permitted to
be loud and interrupt. Good manners can wait.” . .58
Sneaky Scheme: Complainers suck the air out of
the room. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .60
Chapter 6: The Procrastinator . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .65
Predictable Pattern: The procrastinator wastes time
thinking of excuses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .66
Unacceptable Attitude: The procrastinator can’t focus
for any length of time. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .70
Chapter 7: The Know-It-All . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
Predictable Pattern: A know-it-all exaggerates. . . . . . . .75
Unacceptable Attitude: A know-it-all thinks nothing
of imposing or intruding. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .78
The Truly Smart Know-It-All . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .79
Predictable Pattern: The know-it-all doesn’t
“see” boundaries. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .79
Unacceptable Attitude: The know-it-all has a peculiar
approach to work style. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .82
vi
CONTENTS
Chapter 8: The Silent Type . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
Predictable Pattern: Negative criticism is problematic
for the silent type. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .87
Unacceptable Attitude: The silent type is a loner
and zones out when it comes to company news. . . .90
Chapter 9: The Social Butterfly . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .95
Predictable Pattern: Social butterflies ask lots
of questions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .95
Unacceptable Attitude: This person is literally a
hands-on individual! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .99
Chapter 10: The “No People Skills” Person . . . . . . . . .105
Predictable Pattern: The one thing that’s predictable
is that this “negaholic” is unpredictable! . . . . . . . .106
Unacceptable Attitude: “No people skills” types have
no qualms about being rude. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .108
Unapproachable Attitude: Virtually everyone likes to
be liked but this person may not show it. . . . . . . . .111
Chapter 11: The Rookie . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .115
Predictable Pattern: Rookies don’t don camouflage. . .116
Unavoidable Outcome: Rookies may make more
mistakes than seasoned employees. . . . . . . . . . . . .119
Chapter 12: The Overly Sensitive Person . . . . . . . . . .123
Predictable Pattern: Overly sensitive employees are
often late with their work. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .124
Unacceptable Attitude: Overly sensitive employees are
more likely to quit. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .126
vii
MANAGING DIFFICULT PEOPLE
Chapter 13: The Manipulator . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .131
Predictable Pattern: The manipulator doesn’t like to
take “no” for an answer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .132
Sneaky Scheme: Manipulators like an appreciative
audience. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .134
Part 3: Communication:
The Upside and the Downside
Chapter 14: Master the Fine Art of
Effective Communication . . . . . . . . . . . . .141
The Components of Good Communication . . . . . . . . . . .141
Setting the Right Example . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .145
Communicating with Your Staff . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .148
Open-Door Policy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .151
Constructive Criticism . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .152
To-the-Rescue Tips for Resolving
Communication Issues . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .156
Chapter 15: Group Dynamics and
Conflict Resolution . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .159
System vs. People Problems . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .160
Maintaining Harmony . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .162
Take Me to Your Leader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .164
Problem-Solving Basics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .165
Group Dynamics: A Balancing Act . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .169
Rewarding and Supporting the Team . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .171
Put Office Politics to Good Use . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .173
viii