Boyfriend University: Take Advantage of Your Man and Learn While You Can

243 Pages·2008·5.24 MB·English

by  Jennifer Sander

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You can learn more from your boyfriends than dumb jokes and bad table
manners. You can discover valuable life lessons that help you have more fun,
solve everyday problems, be confident and successful, and improve your love
life. How do you separate the diamonds from the duds? Learn from the masters
at Boyfriend University.
This lively, mischievous guide helps you tilt the playing field in your favor by
adding male skill sets to your already-powerful female arsenal. Find out how to:
(cid:127) Get a guy to teach you everything he knows
(cid:127) Assemble a tool kit, fix things, and jump-start a car
(cid:127) Procrastinate, bluff and flatter, and feign interest in anything
(cid:127) Carve a turkey, barbecue, and choose a bottle of bourbon
(cid:127) Accept pleasure, hide bad behavior, and display your assets
(cid:127) Have a firm handshake, shrug off a loss, and deal with men and loans
(cid:127) Talk about yourself, be a team player, and cry like a guy
(cid:127) Play beer-pong, poker, and ultimate Frisbee
(cid:127) Find the North Star, fathom a street grid, and get along on the open road
(cid:127) Check out a guy, pick up a guy, and decide whether he’s a keeper
Enroll in Boyfriend University and learn how to tap the guru in any guy!
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JENNIFER SANDER is the author of Wear More Cashmere and The Martini n e
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Diet. She and her work have been featured on CNBC, CNN, The View, USA Today, l ad
and other media outlets. LYNNE ROMINGER is a contributing editor for ea va
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Cover Design: Wendy Mount u u
Cover Illustration: Paul McCarthy ca r m
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Boyfriend University
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Boyfriend University
Take Advantage of Your Man
and Learn While You Can
JENNIFER SANDER
and
LYNNE ROMINGER
John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
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Copyright © 2009 by Jennifer Sander and Lynne Rominger. All rights reserved
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey
Published simultaneously in Canada
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or trans-
mitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, record-
ing, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976
United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the
Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the
Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978)
750–8400, fax [phone], or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to
the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department,
John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748–6011,
fax [phone], or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.
Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and the author have
used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or war-
ranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book
and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a
particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representa-
tives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not
be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appro-
priate. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for any loss of profit
or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, inciden-
tal, consequential, or other damages.
For general information about our other products and services, please contact
our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762–2974,
outside the United States at (317) 572–3993 or fax [phone].
Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content
that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. For more infor-
mation about Wiley products, visit our web site at www.wiley.com.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Sander, Jennifer.
Boyfriend university : take advantage of your man and learn while
you can / Jennifer Sander and Lynne Rominger.
p. cm.
Includes index.
ISBN 978-0-470-17703-7 (pbk.)
1. Women—Life skills guides. 2. Achievement motivation in women.
3. Women—Psychology. I. Sander, Jennifer Basye, date. II. Title.
HQ1221R714 2009
646.70082—dc22
2008041536
Printed in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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To all the men I’ve learned from,
my heartfelt thanks.
—Jennifer
For my baristas, Jeremy,
Keyan, Meghan and Jessica.
Thanks for the shots!
—Lynne
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Contents
Part I GETTING IN AND CAMPUS LIFE 1
1 An Introduction to Boyfriend University 3
2 How to Use This Book and Why You Should 9
3 Financial Aid and Administrative Offices 15
How to Have a Firm Handshake 16
How to Shrug Off a Loss 17
How to Make Conservative Investments 19
How to Negotiate a Discount on Anything 20
How to Reach a Compromise 23
How to Stay Organized 25
How to Deal with Mergers and Acquisitions 28
How to Deal with Men and Loans 29
How to Act with Authority 32
4 Counseling Services 35
How to Feel Daring and Successful without a Man 35
How to React to Gunfire 39
How to Turn an Ex-Boyfriend into a Friend 40
How to Know If He’s a Fixer-Upper and Worth
Keeping 44
How to Know Your Boyfriend University Type:
The Quiz 46
Where to Meet a Man, Particularly the Right
Man 49
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5 Leaving Home and Living on Your Own 55
How to Guess Why Your Car Won’t Start 56
How to Control a Skid 59
How to Jump-Start a Car 61
How to Drive a Full-Size Truck 63
How to Have the Basic Tools You Need to Fix Anything 64
How to Properly Pound a Nail 66
How to Fix a Clogged Toilet 67
How to Kick In a Door 71
How to Make an Easy Pie 72
How to Cut an Onion 75
How to Carve a Turkey 76
How to Slurp an Oyster 79
How to Barbecue Anything 81
How to Make Killer Spaghetti Sauce 83
How to Kill Your Own Food 86
Part II FINDING YOUR MAJOR 91
6 Art and Cultural Studies
93
How to Have Fun 94
How to Mix a Martini 96
How to Choose a Bottle of Bourbon 98
How to Drink Cognac 101
How to Bluff and Flatter 104
How to Make Any Gift Fraught with Meaning 107
How to Wear Men’s Clothing (and Why You
Should) 108
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How to Procrastinate 111
How to Fake Your Way to a Clean House 112
How to Talk about Wine without Knowing a Thing
about It 114
How to Win an Award 117
How to Smoke a Cigar 120
How to Get a Tattoo You Won’t Regret 122
7 Communications Studies 125
How to Talk about Yourself 126
How to Feign Interest in a Much Younger Date 128
How to Understand Obscure Literary References 130
How to Be a Team Player 133
How to Use the NATO Phonetic Alphabet 135
How to Get to the Point 139
How to Talk about Yourself Again 140
How and When to Call Men 141
How to Cry Like a Guy: The Crying Game 145
8 Biology and Chemistry 149
How to Hide Bad Behavior 150
How to Accept Pleasure 153
When to Sleep with a Guy 156
How to Avoid Getting Used in a Relationship 158
How to End a Relationship 162
How to Peacock: Displaying Your Assets 164
How to Check Him Out Like He Checks You
Out 165
How to Pick Up a Guy 166
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