I’m Telling You, I’m Not the Boss Monster!

Charlotte’s level briefly turned pink before darkening to a deep green.
The reason for the change was simple.
Given her personality, it was probably something along the lines of, “Someone like me, a mere human, can’t possibly admire my lord.”
“Well, glad you came to your senses. Bones don’t exactly scream romance.”
No matter how crazy Charlotte might be, necrophilia was definitely a step too far.
While waiting for the merchant’s arrival, Charlotte and I discussed how to structure the dungeon. Isabella was there too, hovering like an unnecessary addition, nodding along like a background prop. If she had shaken her head instead, she might’ve been mistaken for a fan. But hey, I wasn’t one to talk, sitting there with my arms crossed and occasionally letting out a sigh.
“It’s crucial to listen to your subordinates’ demands and complaints. The morale of the subordinates greatly affects the dungeon’s condition.”
Subordinates? Pretty sure it’s just you and the vampire crew.
At that moment, Charlotte sharply turned her head.
Isabella, who had been zoning out, flinched under Charlotte’s sudden gaze.
“Do you have any complaints?”
“Uh, wh-what? Me?”
The stiff tone and blank expression made her look like a high schooler glaring at a passerby with a “What’s your problem?” attitude.
No wonder Isabella looked terrified.
Charlotte might be competent, but handling people clearly wasn’t her strong suit.
Looks like it’s time for me to step in and set an example as a boss.
I locked eyes with Isabella and started to speak.
“Charlotte means, in case you might—”
“Eek!”
...Right. My skeletal face strikes again.
Do undead have no polymorph option? This was getting kind of depressing.
Ahem.
Charlotte cleared her throat and resumed.
“I’ll take that as no complaints. Moving on, now that we’ve repelled the intruders, it’s time to focus on reinforcing our foundation rather than expanding our forces. I believe it would be more effective to dig underground in a labyrinth-like structure instead of maintaining the current cave layout.”
“Makes sense.”
“For the dungeon’s sustainability, securing a water source is critical. Relying on external supplies is difficult in many ways, so we should expand the labyrinth to access groundwater and become self-sufficient.”
“Sometimes, we may even discover ore veins near groundwater. If we can establish a single site for water and mining, it’ll reduce labor demands.”
As a boss, there wasn’t much for me to do. I let the information flow in one ear and out the other.
“We’ll also need to procure seeds for dungeon plants that can be used as medicinal herbs. This will help minimize expenses to the Dungeon Merchant Guild.”
“Additionally, I’ll explore recruiting monsters from outside without relying on the merchant. Selecting creatures that, even if weak individually, are strong in groups or make effective use of the terrain would be ideal.”
“And for now, we’ll use the minotaur’s carcass as food. I’ve already frozen it with magic to prevent decay, so there’s no need to worry. A carcass of that size should last us at least a week.”
“Uh, excuse me?”
Isabella interrupted hesitantly.
“Well, isn’t using corpses a bit… questionable? Oh, and come to think of it! We can’t drink dead blood, can we?”
“It’s not delicious, but it’s possible. I’ve confirmed it myself.”
“Uh… actually, we’re really fine. Totally fine. But, um, how is the boss going to…?”
“The boss is undead. He doesn’t eat.”
“Oh. Then, uh, what about reviving the minotaur as an undead?”
“With that size? Practically impossible. Maybe a Lich King could do it.”
“Oh…”
Isabella let out a defeated sigh, clearly outmatched. There’s no arguing with Charlotte. Just accept it.
That was when a pitch-black portal appeared.
From within, the demon merchant stepped out and gracefully bowed.
“It is an honor to see your esteemed self again, Dungeon Master.”
Following him, monsters began pouring out of the portal, one after another.
They all looked the same, identical in posture and appearance, lining up in formation until about a hundred of them stood before me. It was an impressive sight.
They were about human-sized, resembling a bizarre mix of moles and rats.
“Kobolds, huh.”
I’d been expecting this ever since Charlotte mentioned dungeon expansion.
Kobold claws and front teeth were as tough as steel, making them perfect for digging tunnels like pickaxes. Turning a simple cave into a labyrinth required their kind of labor.
“We are honored to meet the exalted master!”
“We shall serve with unwavering loyalty!”
Kobolds that could talk?
Just as I was wondering, the demon merchant clarified.
“I have selected only the most intelligent kobolds. They are thrilled to take on the task of reshaping the new Mugan Palace.”
“Leave it to us! We’ll give it our all!”
Aside from their grating speech, they seemed reliable.
“They belong to the Iron Fang Tribe. They will undoubtedly be of great help.”
“Humans! Humans here! Intruders!”
“They are officers. Mind your words.”
Charlotte not only recognized they were kobolds but also identified their tribe. Must be a famous group.
In addition to the kobolds, three humanoids emerged last.
They were stocky, barely over a meter tall, with rugged faces partially obscured by thick beards. Recognizing them was a no-brainer.
The eldest-looking dwarf approached me.
“I greet the new master of the Mugan Palace. I am Belraum, though it may be shameful to admit, I’m among the Dungeon Merchant Guild’s finest artisans. These two are my apprentices.”
The other two dwarves bowed deeply.
For a dwarf to call themselves an artisan was a big deal. They must be the real deal.
Even for a newly established dungeon, the Mugan Palace title carried weight.
Bringing in such high-caliber personnel—well, monsters—without being asked was impressive.
“The kobolds will act as laborers, while we will oversee the operations. Should someone take charge of overall management? If it’s you, we’ll follow without issue.”
Why would I take on such a hassle?
I subtly glanced at Charlotte and placed a hand on her shoulder.
Startled, Charlotte flinched, giving me a slightly confused look.
“My lieutenant will handle it.”
“…Boss?”
Charlotte’s eyes widened, filled with questions.
Who else would do it? Dungeon bosses are glorified figureheads anyway.
“To entrust me once again… Thank you. This time, I will give my all to meet your expectations.”
Ah. She misunderstood.
She must think I was acknowledging her despite her previous mistakes.
No need to correct her. If it boosts her efficiency, all the better.
“Understood. Let’s get started immediately.”
***
Two days had passed. To say it was busy would be an understatement—it was chaotic.
Not for me, though.
"Why did I end up doing such grueling work…"
"Hey, vampire! Work properly!"
"I’m not
a vampire! Can’t you see the horns and fangs here?"
"Don’t care! Haul those bricks!"
"Ugh, I’m a True Ancestor Vampire, you know…"
I ignored Isabella’s whining as she was reduced to a puddle of exhaustion from the labor. Everyone else was working, so I couldn’t justify letting the vampire slack off. Not that she was much help with heavy lifting.
The dungeon was transforming dramatically. What once was a shabby cave now had an unmistakable dungeon-like structure and scale.
It still didn’t look aesthetically pleasing, of course. A labyrinth is supposed to appear as confusing and overwhelming as possible—that’s the point. By those standards, it was a flawless dungeon. You couldn’t tell left from right just by looking.
All I had to do was watch.
Ah, yes. This is how a proper boss operates. This is how a dungeon should run.
Even though I’m undead and technically don’t get tired, I still didn’t feel like doing anything.
When you’ve got nothing to do, checking your status window is the way to pass time.
Still level 44.
Killing Valmonk hadn’t changed it. Was it because of the glitch that killed him? Or was my level a fixed value?
"Maybe I need to personally deal the killing blow," I muttered to myself.
Since I hadn’t killed anyone directly, I couldn’t be sure. Still, wouldn’t my level increase if I did? This world might follow some game-like logic, but staying stagnant at level 44 seemed ridiculous.
"Do you have a moment, old master? I have a question."
"Speak, Lieutenant."
Standing idly nearby, I watched as Charlotte addressed Belraum, the dwarf.
In human society, witches like Charlotte are often grouped with demi-humans like dwarves. Maybe that’s why she and Belraum seemed to get along so well.
"From your perspective, when would be the ideal time to begin constructing the groundwater and mining bases?"
"Even laying the foundational structure will take at least a day. The real issue is finding the right locations. That’ll take about three days, assuming things go smoothly. If not, we’ll have to expand the search range, which will take even more time."
For the past two days, Charlotte had been constantly asking about mining bases and resources. It made me curious.
"Why is mining so urgent?" I muttered, more to myself than anyone else.
Somehow, Charlotte caught it and turned to me, bowing her head slightly.
"It is urgent. We must secure resources as quickly as possible."
"Why?"
"To repay the debt before the interest increases."
Debt? What debt?
As I stood silently, Charlotte continued.
"The Dungeon Merchant Guild often appraises ore veins at high value. Since finding ore veins in dungeons is relatively easy, repaying the debt this way is the fastest method."
"...Debt, you say."
"The cost of hiring monsters. I borrowed 30 million sell to employ the minotaur and basilisk."
This crazy woman.
She probably borrowed it under the dungeon’s name, which makes me, as the boss, the one responsible.
Alright, let’s think positively.
We’re alive because of those monsters. Without them, we’d have been the ones dead.
"Since the dungeon holds the title of Mugan Seventh Palace, the repayment period is indefinite. However, the annual interest rate is 5%, amounting to 1.5 million sell. As of now, three days have passed, so the accrued interest is 12,200 sell."
She’s fast at calculations. Is she really from a medieval world?
Part of me thought it wasn’t that urgent, but Charlotte, noticing my hesitation, explained further.
"The Dungeon Merchant Guild evaluates a dungeon’s creditworthiness based on its repayment schedule. The dungeon represents the boss. Late repayments would mean a lower credit rating for the boss. As your lieutenant, I cannot allow even the slightest blemish on your reputation."
Was she always this meticulous?
I knew she was capable, but I didn’t expect her to be this diligent.
Fine, Charlotte. Do whatever you want. I take back all those times I called you a lunatic.
As long as you don’t start skinning humans in front of me, we’re good.
***
A week passed.
Thankfully, there were no external intrusions during the construction process.
I had been worried after Valmonk’s death, but it turned out to be a needless concern. Well, information doesn’t spread quickly in a medieval society without clear communication networks.
There’s even a chance that the Imperial Subjugation Command doesn’t yet know about Valmonk’s demise.
"Great job, you rat bastards! Finish cleaning up, and let’s pull out!"
"Kek! Pull out! Pull out!"
"Rest! Rest!"
In less than ten days, the dungeon was fully constructed.
What would’ve taken over a year with humans was completed in just nine days thanks to the combined efforts of the kobolds and dwarves.
The dungeon now had every right to be called a proper “dungeon.”
Drenched in sweat, the dwarves and kobolds let out thunderous cheers.
Charlotte approached me as the celebration unfolded.
"Excellent work."
"Compared to you, Boss, my efforts are nothing."
Her excessive loyalty made me feel oddly embarrassed.
Or was she mocking me? Judging by the deep green hue of her level marker, she seemed genuine, but it still left me feeling a bit uncomfortable.
"Ugh… Blood… I need blood…"
Isabella was sprawled out some distance away, lying flat on her back. For some reason, it made me feel a little sorry for her.
"She seems to need blood to recover."
"But she doesn’t deserve it. Isabella doesn’t even measure up to a tenth of Valmonk’s capabilities."
How could you even compare the two?
Valmonk didn’t sleep or rest, and his body level exceeded 70, making him perfectly suited for hard labor.
"As a lieutenant, wouldn’t it be good to show some generosity to your subordinates?"
"As you command."
Finally, Charlotte rolled up the sleeve of her robe and approached Isabella.
"Blood! Blood!" Isabella sprang up eagerly, practically bouncing, while Charlotte, expressionless, let Isabella bite her arm. It was like watching a ridiculous slapstick routine.
While it might seem cliché, in
Not because I was unwilling to offer mine, of course.
I’m undead, so I can’t. Seriously. It’s not like I’m avoiding it because I don’t want to get bitten. My body would probably bleed marrow instead of blood.
"The master of the dungeon, I present to you an incomplete copy of the dungeon map."
Belraum’s voice brought me back.
When I extended my hand, he handed me several parchment scrolls. It wasn’t just one map.
"The first map is the dungeon itself. Red Xs mark the traps, green triangles indicate lieutenant rooms, and the golden star represents the boss room. I’ve also highlighted areas suited for growing dungeon plants."
As Belraum spoke, I studied the map, following his finger as he pointed to various sections.
"Here, you can see we’ve cleared the stalactite cave to construct a mining base. Conveniently, there’s a groundwater source nearby, making it easy to supply water to the miners."
"Hmm."
"This is the final area of the labyrinth. The structure is defensible and close to the water source. There are no alternative paths, and the walls are thick, so any subjugation team would struggle to bypass it. It’s ideal for a fallback point in the worst-case scenario. If the boss is ever cornered, defending this spot would be a sound strategy."
"I see."
"This version is incomplete, so it doesn’t account for the resource ecosystem or wall durability."
"Hmm."
Honestly, I didn’t understand half of what he was saying, so I just nodded along.
"And the other maps?"
"The second map shows the mountain where the dungeon is located, as well as the nearby village. It details the terrain, elevation, travel times, flora, fauna, and potential defensive strategies using the landscape. It also includes the village’s size."
Definitely useful information for dungeon defense.
"And the final map?"
"This one is a complete map of the empire. Since Mugan Seventh Palace is a key dungeon, it might escalate from dungeon raiding to outright warfare. This map is for that eventuality."
Not gonna lie—that’s absolutely not going to happen.
"The imperial map is already finished, but the other two will be updated and delivered as soon as they’re complete."
"Hmm. Alright."
"If you notice any errors or have additions, please let us know."
They had worked tirelessly on the dungeon expansion and even went above and beyond with these maps. But then again, that’s what makes him a dwarven artisan.
"Seems good. Explain this to the lieutenant as well."
"As you command."
Belraum waddled over to Charlotte, who nodded along to his explanations, occasionally asking questions.
Watching from a distance, I couldn’t help but think how different she was from me. She was a truly capable lieutenant, not just someone playing pretend like I was.
When they finished, Charlotte returned to me.
"Excuse me, Boss. Before the kobolds leave, may I authorize them to mine the designated ore veins?"
"Is this for the debt?"
"Yes. Including the debt and dungeon expansion costs, the total is 136.6 million sell. I will assign a small number of kobolds to remain here and oversee the mining operations until we’ve offset the amount."
"Do as you see fit."
Her thoroughness made me unconsciously click my tongue in admiration.
If I had a tongue, that is.
Now that the dungeon construction was complete, it was time to properly rest.
With traps in place, and Charlotte and Valmonk here, even if a subjugation team arrived, this dungeon would be impenetrable. If things got truly dire, we could always call for help from the merchant guild.
This place wouldn’t fall to anyone short of a hero’s subjugation party.
"It seems the merchant has arrived."
Following Charlotte’s gaze, I spotted a pitch-black portal opening in the distance.
As expected, the familiar face of the demon merchant emerged.
He must’ve known we’d finished and came to inspect.
"It is an honor to see your exalted visage!"
The demon rushed over, unusually hurried, casting nervous glances my way.
What’s gotten into him?
"Lord, I bring urgent news!"
"Speak."
"A guest is coming! No, no, not just a guest—a
guest!"
A foreboding sense of dread crept over me.
Just as I was about to ask who it was—
A much larger portal opened beside the first one.
At first, I was just surprised. But then I saw something that made my shock escalate into pure horror.
Before the figure even stepped out, their level came into view.
Oh.
"Everyone, show proper respect! A fifth-ranked boss is arriving!"
Why is my gut never wrong about bad news?