Table Of ContentSelf-Care
The Ingredients for Health and Happiness
The Power of
Positivity
How to Find
the Time
What the
Science Says
Self-Care
The Ingredients for Health and Happiness
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Contents
4
I ntroduction
It’s All About You
C H A P T E R O N E
Looking Inward
10
The New Future of Self-Care
16
The Power of Solitude
20
Back to Nature
24
Sometimes It’s All in Your Head
26
Tapping into Gratitude
30
Bounce Forward
C H A P T E R T W O
Self-Care for the
Modern Age
36
Selling Self-Care
40
How Activists Practice Self-Care
46
B lack Mental Health in the
Midst of Racism
50
The Caregiver’s Guide to Self-Care
56
How to Improve Your Digital Wellness
58
I Wrote Down Five Things That
Make Me Happy
62
The Power of Positivity
C H A P T E R T H R E E
Staying Grounded
68
The Problem with Wine-and-Bubble-
Bath Self-Care
72
How to Make Time for Self-Care
When You Have None
76
The “Good Enough” Guide to Health
80
The Kids Need Me-Time, Too
82
How to Beat Burnout
86
K now Your Limits
88
Make Peace with Your Body
96
Sip Before Sleep
Parts of this special edition were previously
published by Health, Parents, and Shape.
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INTRODUCTION
IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU
Self-care has been a popular buzzword for years.
But its definition and how we practice it have evolved in recent
years. What does it mean to us now?
BY HALLIE LEVINE
WHEN AN AIRCRAFT HITS turbulence and those are so used to multitasking and always have so many
oxygen masks come tumbling down, you’re supposed balls in the air, it’s easy for us to turn our energy
to place the mask over your own mouth and nose toward supporting others without focusing on our-
before turning to help others. There’s a good reason selves. But if we don’t take time just for us, we’ll
for that: Without oxygen, you’ll quickly lose con- become depleted.”
sciousness and won’t be of any use to anyone. Part of this may be because many women instinc-
self-care
It shouldn’t come as a surprise, then, that the same tively shy away from the word , viewing it as
principle applies when it comes to a luxury that they simply can’t
ourselves in our day-to-day lives. afford (it seems too frivolous to
Too many of us wear a superhero soak in a warm bubble bath, for
“Women are so used
cape and rarely, if ever, take it off. example, while your partner stews
to multitasking and
A 2018 Cleveland Clinic survey of about losing their job and your
always have so many
women with kids under age 18 kids are behind in their Zoom
balls in the air, it’s
found that fewer than half regu- school). But the self-care move-
easy for us to turn
larly practiced self-care, or activi- ment actually started in the 1950s,
our energy toward
ties we do on purpose to nourish in an effort to help people who
others without
our physical, mental, and emo- were institutionalized learn how
focusing on our-
tional health. Fewer than a third to tend to such basic necessities as
selves. But if we don’t
eat right and exercise and less than grooming and shaving, says
take time just for us,
20 percent ever chill with friends Elspeth Cameron Ritchie, MD, a
we’ll become
(women without children have a chair of psychiatry at MedStar
depleted.”
problem hanging up that cape, Washing ton Hospital Center in
too, with only about half report- Washing ton, D.C. Then, in the
ing that they regularly make it a 1970s, the term was appropriated
priority to get some R&R). by the Black Panther Movement as a way to encour-
But self-care in this day and age is more important age Black Americans to take care of themselves by,
than ever. “We may not even realize it, but we all for example, getting screened for the genetic disorder
have anxiety simmering underneath the surface that sickle cell anemia. In the 1980s, Black female activist
diminishes all of our internal resources,” says Audre Lorde wrote, “Caring for myself is not self-
Traci Maynigo, PsyD, a psychologist at Montefiore indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act
Medical Center in the Bronx, New York. “Women of political warfare.”
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WIND DOWN
FROM A BUSY
DAY WITH SOME
TUNES OR YOUR
FAVORITE
PODCAST.
“Gradually, it evolved from the civil rights move- Wright, PhD, senior director of health care innova-
ment to the women’s movement, as women began to tion at the American Psychological Association. Set
realize that between home and work and children a hard and fast rule to stick to a bedtime that allows
they were juggling so much and if they didn’t take you to get at least seven hours of shut-eye. Vow to
care of themselves, they couldn’t take care of other make sure you have five-plus servings of fruits and
people,” explains Ritchie. “It really became about veggies a day. Get outside to go for a walk in the fresh
women setting boundaries—how to say no so that air for a minimum of 20 minutes every day. Make
they could fit in time to get enough sleep and eat sure you connect with at least one close friend or
right and stay somewhat active so that they could family member a few times a week, even if all you
stay healthy enough to get on with their lives,” adds can manage is a 10- minute chat via Facetime. “If
Karen Stewart, MD, a psychiatrist at Kaiser you can do those four things on a routine basis,
Permanente in Atlanta. you’ve got a solid foundation going already for self-
If you’re struggling with how to establish a self- care,” says Wright. “You’ll be in a place where you’re
care routine, start with the basics, advises C. Vaile better able to be reflective and figure out which
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silently express gratitude for all that is positive in
your life—snuggling with your pooch, or the sun
shining during your morning run. Focus on what you
have control over rather than on more abstract things
MIXING
that you can’t.
TOGETHER A
BRIGHT BLEND If you’re too overwhelmed to do all of this (and let’s
OF FRUITS
face it, that’s probably most of us), Stewart says you
MAKES GREAT
FEEL-GOOD can utilize an app such as myStrength, which helps
SMOOTHIES.
you track your mood and set goals. “It allows you to
do a quick assessment of what’s going on with your
life and assess what activities will be most useful to
you, whether it’s taking a walk or indulging in some
deep breathing,” she explains. Whatever you choose,
it’s important that you take at least 15 minutes to do
it each day. “Schedule it just like you’d schedule your
child’s pediatrician appointment,” she says. “That
way, it’s on your calendar and automatically becomes
another part of your day.”
It’s also important to take a moment to analyze the
obstacles that may be getting in the way of a solid
self-care routine. “You have to ask yourself the hard
questions and come up with solutions,” says Wright.
“Maybe it’s ordering groceries online twice a week
so you don’t have to waste a couple of hours in the
grocery store. Or asking your kids to pitch in and do
some of the chores. Or insisting your spouse do his
share of the errands and housework. There’s still
this belief among women that if they’re asking for
help, they’ve failed. But we need to realize that
energy is a finite resource that needs to be replen-
ished from time to time. It’s just like filling your car
up with gas—we cannot allow our bodies to get to
the point that they’re running on empty.”
It’s a challenge that Stewart herself has gradually
learned to take on. In the past, she had satisfied her
need for self-care—and her yearning for adventure—
activities are giving you joy and allowing you to be by traveling to exotic spots such as New Zealand to
in the moment, instead of ruminating about the past do activities like white-water rafting and bungee
or the future.” jumping. Now she stays closer to home. “I go on week-
While self-care is crucial for everyone, it’s partic- end hikes where I check out local state parks, and
ularly key if you’re finding that you’re displaying during the week, I make sure I get in some short walks
Girl Trek
clear signs of anxiety or depression, says Stewart, while listening to my favorite podcast, ,
like snapping at your kids over little things or not which focuses on African American women in his-
finding joy in activities you normally love to do, like tory,” she says. A couple of evenings a week, she makes
curling up with a good book or watching Netflix with sure she winds down over a gourmet meal (complete
your partner. “In these highly charged times, you with wine). “Is it a challenge fitting it in? Yes, it is, and
really need the ability to be able to take a deep breath I’m the first to admit that I’m not perfect at it,” she
and say, ‘I can do this,’ ” she adds. One way to nurture says. “Taking time for ourselves is daunting. But the
yourself in these stressful moments is to engage in a more we do it, the more we prepare ourselves to be
few p ositive-thinking exercises. Take a moment to our best selves in our lives.” ●
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